To think that my friend was a CF with restaurant discount?

[LeslieRunner]

I went for dinner with my friend on Saturday. She moved away from our local area about a year ago - the restaurant we went to she used to go to quite regularly because it was near where she worked, and the staff recognised her.

When the bill was provided, the manager said she’d removed the cost of my friends meal (they always used to use each others businesses) and my friend was really grateful.

When we go out, we always split the cost proportionate to what we each picked. The discount for my friends meal came to over £50. So with the final bill, all she had to pay was her half of the wine we shared, and I had to pay for my meal plus my share of the wine which came to over £60.

I haven’t said this to her, but I feel like my friend could have passed some of the discount on to me and offered to pay a greater share. I would definitely have done similar…

I've already set upthread I would have covered the wine, but playing devil's advocate...

If she'd been given a free meal because she went there regularly and had a loyalty card so every 5 meals you get one free would you have expected her to still pay for half your meal?
How about if she was given a free dessert or glass of wine because it was her birthday? Would you have expected her to share it with you?

What if it was bad luck she suffered? If the server had spilled something over her so comped her meal on that basis would you have still expected her to share?
What if you'd both driven and parked in the same place and she got a parking ticket but you didn't - would you have paid for half of hers?
How about the same, but she'd given you a lift?

How far do you take being nice vs being fair?

If it were me, I would have split the remainder of the bill 50/50, but then I’m not tight.

I would personally have split the remainder of the bill as it would have felt like the right thing to do. Having said that I think the restaurant could have handled it better by giving a percentage off the total bill.

I have a friend we go on a shopping trip occasionally and always try and split the cost. That's fine but l have a discount Railcard and get some free journeys, some half price, so significant saving on my rail ticket. She will often say 'ooh that's (half the total amount of our fares ) each ' So if total joint fare is £60 and mine is £20 she"ll say that"ll be £30 each . Whilst l don't mind splitting the cost of meals/refreshments etc l think this is really cheeky. I've resisted taking her up on it so far but it is becoming more and more an issue as she keeps suggesting it.

That's really CF of her! Meals are one thing, but this would really grate. Ask why she thinks you should share a discount that would mean your ticket becomes more expensive than if you didn't? It makes no sense.

It's not a discount to be shared. It's a gift to the friend. She got comped her meal because she's developed a relationship with the owner over time and she's likely spent a lot of money in there. I actually think OP is the cheap one expecting her friend to pay half her meal because of it.

Why would OP feel entitled to part of that? I really don't get this at all. Maybe comping works different there.

I really wouldn't be in a rush to go out with someone so mean again.
It isn't the amount, its just shabby behaviour.
I would judge her as I certainly would share it, so would my friends.

She may well have thought it would look odd or rude to the manager if she paid for part of her meal after they gifted it. So i'd say it was likely a dilemma and give her a pass on this occasion. You cant please all of the people all of the time.

Thank you ,yes exactly, l think it comes from when we first went out somewhere in her car and l insisted buying the coffees etc as she'd driven us but that was a short journey / small amount involved..