How many years is too many?

[momtoboys]

Posting here for traffic.

A friend of a friend who is early 60's, divorced, attractive, very successful has a new girlfriend. She is fairly attractive, seems pleasant. He is doting on her. She is 36 years younger than he is. 😳

Does anyone know a similar situation that has worked out?

How boring of you! It's an interesting conversation.

Old schoolfriend of mine married a man 25 years her senior. Looked okay at a certain stage but now she's 45 and he's 70. The age gap appears startling and while she looks young, he looks like her grandfather. Nope.

My DF did this - and had a second lot of kids in his 70s. Then moaned that it had destroyed his last chance of happiness and made his new family totally miserable.

His wife was pretty vulnerable and looking for someone to take care of her & tell her what to do, as I think people often are when they hitch their wagon to someone so much older (who doesn’t have a ton of money).

They were together a good 20 years before my dad died - and he was very unwell and a cantankerous old shit for most of that time.

It's not about who YOU would want to date, but it's very untrue that men are not faced with insecurity as they grow older.

Feeling that they are aging, becoming irrelevant, being replaced by younger versions, of course it's a thing.

That doesn't happen to men, instead we generally become more respected, our opinions are given more weight as we age.
100% not true. Some might THINK it's happening, but the eye rolls and being put aside are real.

It's just not possible to generalise.

When there's a big age gap in a relationship, until you know a lot more about the couple, there's no way you can decide there's an imbalance of power and which way it goes if there is one. It's too individual to make blunt judgements.

That's been beaten to death, reanimated and then beaten to death again.

He is nearly 100 so I doubt she will be doing much caring for him in 20 years time.

He is early-60s! That's not nearly 100 😆 He could have another 30 years left!

A friend of mine married a mine with a 35 year age gap. They loved each very much and had a successful marriage and two children. What neither of them saw coming down the road was that he could get dementia and need to go into a home at the same time as her mother and that both of them would die within weeks of each other during lock down. That was very, very hard for her and she is still trying to recover mentally. Growing old is hard and losing your mind to dementia while your partner is trying to care for you, school age kids and pay the mortgage, is very hard on them. She doesn't regret her marriage but it is something to think about. She wouldn't be thrilled if her own children got involved with people much older purely because of how hard things were at the end.

I would do it if he was mega wealthy. This is after experiencing my current 'for love' long term 2 kids but he's now broke relationship.
If some 70 year old billionnaire wanted me I would oblige. But I am not looking after some older aged, grumpy old git for less than a billion dollar inheritance.

I think she made the same misreading error I originally did!

Adding to my last post, men seem to get very very needy as they age. Women seem to get more independant.
Right now she is probably in her 'being looked after like a princess era'. But give it a few years and he will be hedging 70 and she will be in her get the fuck off me era.
My friend did marry a man with this age gap. Ultimately they divorced after their first child she said she began to get creeped out by him groping her in the shower etc and just started to feel the whole thing was gross as she matured.
He did treat her like a princess at first, and he was her 'saviour'/big daddy'. But as she grew into her 30s she just felt sickened by it all.

I worked with a lady the same age as me who married a man 40 years older than her. I got married the same year that she did to a man my own age.
I don't know how she's doing any longer, but I do know she was still married to him (apparently happily) when my own marriage was over.

There's a lot of things that can influence whether a relationship is successful or not and I do think the ages of those involved is probably quite a way down the list.

A situation as old as time - suprised that you’re suprised! It would creep me out but it’s not unusual. Didn’t Robert De Niro just have a baby with his much younger partner.

No. Does he have money?

This is really grim.

people find relationships really "grim" as soon as 2 people are a bit different

different colour, different race
different body weight..
different "attractiveness"
different finance

It's amusing how much interest people can have in something that doesn't concern them in the slightest 😂

Do you think if the person in their 60’s wasn’t loaded and successful that the much younger woman would even look at them??

It’s really not the same.

He is very well off and she works in a position that she would know much of his financial information. And, I do realize this is none of my business.

Bit simplistic , no not the same

Mystery solved 😆

One of my friends is 51 and dating a 72 year old man...ive met him and he looks younger than his age...dresses very well and is tech savvy...listens to modern music etc...hes also a really nice man (hes not mega rich lol) but i can see why she likes him.

Not really any of your business. Do they know you are gossiping about them on a public forum? You’re not much a “friend” if this is what you do behind people’s backs.

I know a woman who entered a relationship with a similar age gap while in her 20s. She's now late 40s and he is approaching 80. They seem to be very happy.

Oh, for the love...he is not a friend. If you read my OP he is the friend of a friend. I barely know the man. I haven't said anything unkind about either of them. I just wondered what people thought.