Sarah & Dean MAFS UK **No Spoilers**

[CandleMug]

Just catching up when they’re at the first commitment ceremony and I feel sorry for Sarah with the way the ‘experts’ went on at her for being disrespectful etc…

I felt sorry for her during this episode as they made her feel so small for saying Dean gives her the ick with all the singing and performing but she was telling her fellow contestants. They said she was disrespectful but I think she’s just being honest as she doesn’t fancy him.

Anyone that’s seen it feel they weren’t fair on Sarah?

She 100% does think she’s more attractive than him. You can’t force attraction no and you could tell at the intimacy workshop she was forcing and faking that because of the reaction she got from the experts.

He's actually quite cute in the face, but he is extremely annoying, Sarah solidarity

I think looks wise they're on a par but finding someone attractive isn't just about looks and let's face it, Dean when he starts with his redcoat stuff is annoying.

I think Sarah (or Sarah's) edit let's her down when she repeatedly says she only finds people with tattoos attractive. It's a strange stupid statement. I think finding tattoos attractive is one thing but only finding people with tattoos attractive seems a bit dim and shallow.

I feel sorry for all being pushed into intimacy with people they don't want to be and can't see anything to be gained from that. Although Leah and Leigh there's quite clearly something there I think Leigh is just a slow burner and getting her head around a different 'type'.

As other posters have pointed out, she shouldn’t feel forced to be in situations she’s not comfortable in just to keep the peace.

I’m only up to the first dinner party but I agree with you @CandleMugthat they are being really down on her, the iperts.. I think k Dean is awful so I understand where Sarah is coming from. She thinks he’s awful too. She seems really shocked and confused at the dinner party that everyone else is getting on so well.

I think she’s truly ridiculous that going on about tattoos all of the time, like really ludicrous.

The ixpersts don’t seem bothered about paul telling his wife he has entered the experiment but doesn’t want to find a wife or Divarni for lying his face off or Ruth Anne for saying her husband was too short.

Like I say, I’m not up to speed yet and I started watching it without having seen or read anything about it at all and I was surprised at how unliked Sarah was and how much people are championing Dean.

Nailed it! Absolutely agree with all of this!

I also think she’s OTT going on about tattoos etc… and what Ruth Ann said about Divarni being too short. In some ways that’s worse as there is nothing that can be done about that, ever.

Sarah is waiting for Maeve and Joe's relationship to show cracks so she can make a move on him.

In terms of Dean when he said he lost weight and it made him a bad person that's a big red flag to me as it sounds like he'd rather be able to say 'girls don't like me because I'm fat' rather than face up to what he can do to change which I suspect is nothing to do with his weight. He's almost trying to pity her into having sex with him which is such an ick.

sarah is downright horrible if he called Sarah a care-bear and said she needed to loose weight and get some tattoos to be physically attractive would you be sticking up for dean
she is immature spoilt and cruel and deserves all the criticism she gets

leigh is a spoilt brat I think all the women on this are possibly air head island rejects

Yes and she’s not the first to have friend zoned him, it seems to be a pattern for him, so he could keep doing what he’s doing and nothing will change or take responsibility and take heed of the feedback (and stop with the rapping etc)

she doesn’t deserve that level of hate. She was clumsy and direct. Which is what the show wants.

Dean however is manipulating the situation for his own ends. Sarah looks haunted. She’s being gaslit by the experts. It’s horrible to watch.

When you look at how Steven has behaved any hasn’t had any sort of the level of hate or much telling off from the experts.

I disagree with you in the Sarah/Dean stuff but if I agree with you here, Leigh is coming accross like a spoilt brat.

That’s how I’m viewing it, that’s she’s been singled out and shamed for her ‘behaviour’, yet as a viewer (imo) she hasn’t said or done anything worse than the next person. She’s been honest and is getting chastised for it now.

what was the guys name last year that got hung drawn and quartered for calling his partner fat
yet it perfectly fine for a women to fat shame as man
dont buy the double standards

Dean directly asked her about his weight and she answered. She definitely could have been more careful with her wording when telling her friends she isn’t physically attracted to him at the first dinner party.

however, dean is very clever with his I’m such a sweet guy act. He knows he’s going to get Sarah into trouble and immediately goes into oh it’s ok it’s not your fault so everyone thinks he’s amazing, kind and forgiving. He likes the ‘woe is me, she’s mean to me but I am so so sweet I will always have her back’ approach. I do think that last week the experts told her off as she had said too much but this week went really hard on her for telling a gay producer he looks hot. Obviously she didn’t fancy the producer who also didn’t fancy her.

I was surprised they didn’t pull dean up on his:
‘This is my wife, I can touch her whenever I want’

errr what??’

When someone asks her why she’s not attracted to him she was honest. He asked her outright and said have you ever been with anyone bigger and she said no.

It seems to me the whole ‘be kind’ rhetoric being spouted out is toxic at times because be kind in this is basically suggesting she should pretend to fancy him because if she’s honest she’ll hurt his feelings… that’s not right.

Maybe Sarah thinks it’s less controversial to say that there is no spark and she likes tattoos rather than he’s an absolute dick and I can’t stand anything about him. Especially when other people are saying how lovely he is.

I’m up to the commitment ceremony now.

I bet you’re right, because everyone seems to love him and it’s fine in small doses but her experience will be different to the rest of the group as she has to spend 24/7 with him rapping and singing 🎶

She's being bullied on tv and these replies are awful.

I've complained to Ofcom:

The misogynistic double standards from the charlatan 'experts' in relation to Sarah is despicable. When Leah flirts with Rebecca (somebody in the competition who she sees regularly and who lives in the same apartment block) this is a-okay with the experts, yet when Sarah flirts with a gay producer (who has zero interest in women) that she saw for two seconds, she's a terrible person who is disrespecting her husband. And what's the difference in this scenario? It's that Leah has a wife and Sarah has a husband. The misogynistic double standards is despicable, not just in terms of Sarah, but in terms of how Leigh's feelings are entirely disregarded in favour of excessive himpathy for the man baby. I feel for Sarah, as Dean gives classic 'nice guy' vibes. He's also exceptionally entitled. He's forever guilt-tripping and saying, "when is my wife going to tell me she finds me attractive", as if he's entitled to attraction from her just because these charlatans thrust them together in the competition, knowing full well he's not her type. One of these days, there's going to be a really serious incident on this show, and it will be these dangerous quacks' fault for gaslighting women into staying with abusive men for the sake of some ratings.

Calling someone a care bear is hardly crime of the century

Was that the guy where she reminded him of his sister? Or was that the year before

I don't think anyone is saying she should be forced into finding someone attractive. I'm uncomfortable at the pressure people have put on them to be intimate with someone they are not physically attracted to. The intimacy task was horrible to watch. Dean isn't unattractive but he isn't her type (though why people come on this show to be matched with a new type then get annoyed when it's not the usual type they have issues with in the past is beyond me)

However to say that is the same as her slagging him off and being very unkind about his appearance is completely wrong as many have said in this thread which you have ignored. She could have easily said she wasn't attracted to him and found him too much rather than get very personal about his looks and look like a bit of a bitch. I think her frustration at not having who she wanted spilled over and didn't make her look like a nice person.

She has been a bit rude about him, and she is immature with her spiel about wanting someone with tattoos. She in no way deserves all the abuse she is getting through. She is trying now to be direct but polite and try and keep some boundaries but is being hounded by the experts. And I don’t buy that Dean is a ‘nice guy’ at all, at best he is an attention seeker without a clue about women.

She shouldn’t be forced in to a situation she’s not comfortable with and she could easily say no as plenty of people on the show have had their boundaries and stuck to them. She did it because she had been called out for her awful behaviour and she wanted to show she’s not a horrible person and trying

It’s not a case of ignoring it, it’s just I don’t perceive it to be as you and others have described. It’s the same every year when all the women get together and discuss the ins and outs and some are over the moon with their partners and others not so and they discuss the whys and hows. I can empathise with her for being disappointed because they want to meet their person.

I guess I was surprised, because I view it as her being honest, whereas others must view it as her being cheeky etc…

When I think of the other couples, some of the women were really unkind to the men. The woman who’s a midwife was quite directly horrible to her DH and I felt sorry fro him. The woman that went on about whether her DH was an alpha male. I found the actions of the way they acted more offensive than what Sarah said.