To think that homeschooling (without additional needs) is selfish?

[IndigoFlamingooo]

I’ll start by saying that obviously for some DC homeschooling is unfortunately a necessity for various reasons eg: SEN/medical & MH problems/severe bullying etc. These are all valid, understandable reasons to take a child out of school.

A very different scenario however is when parents actively choose to take their child out of school for no good reason other than they think they seem to think that being taught at home is somehow going to be a better experience for their child. In reality this ends up being detrimental as a) the parents are not qualified teachers b) the child is isolated & not socialising enough with their peers and c) they end up without proper qualifications. There is even an online trend of parents trying ‘worldschooling’ - in other words travelling the world instead of school as apparently this will be a more worthy education!

On many of the homeschooling pages a common complaint is that their DC have the bare minimum (if any) GCSEs and are therefore struggling to progress into further + higher education. To me this is the height of parental irresponsibility - knowingly putting your child’s future at risk should count as neglect.

Before anyone asks - the only reason I follow these homeschooling pages is that we briefly considered it for DD when she was 15/16 due to severe medical issues at the time that rendered her unable to attend school for a year. Thankfully now resolved.

No @IndigoFlamingooo, @RealPerson has a viewpoint backed up by academic research:
https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/discussion/school-starting-age-the-evidence
… assuming she would also plan to make sure her child got plenty of social time, as the vast majority of home educators do 🙄

YABVU there are a lot of parents doing fantastically well at educating their young people and producing well rounded well educated children. It might not be right for all children but it is for some.
One of my friends home educates her children. They do a huge amount of social things with other kids. They attend a local homeschooling group multiple times each week and pay for tutors in specific areas. They then go to the park or soft play for the kids to let off some steam and play together. They go on outings and are part of a network of wider homeschooling families and have regular meet ups there.
Her kids are thriving. They are fully engaged and hitting all milestones as they should. They are not yet of an age where they have taken formal exams but are working at least in line if not ahead of their school peers. At 8 her eldest is speaking 2 additional languages well enough and confidently enough to hold a conversation in said language.
They will be given the option of going to school at secondary if they wish to. Or they will continue to be educated at home with the support of e-learning platforms and tutors in addition to their university educated parents.

Not everyone has access to good schools. Not all areas have grammar schools. Violence, bullying and poor behaviour is rampant in schools just now. Schools are under funded, under staffed and more kids than ever are leaving school unable to read and write. Let some have GCSEs!

So no actual experience of home education then. The absolute privilege dripping off this post. Do you understand that many people can't afford to tutor and don't have the option of grammar school? Open your eyes.

I must say that though I don't have a problem with people choosing to HE I don't recognise the picture painted on this thread of non selective state schools either. I have two children who have between them attended four state schools and they were full of very dedicated, skillful teachers and students keen to learn. Yes, underfunded. But very far from the violent cesspits of illiteracy alluded to in this thread (by people whose children don't attend them).

A possible drawback to home ed that I don't see discussed much is what happens in a well-motivated, reasonably-educated family with more than one home ed child if those children have very different needs (not necessarily SEN).

For example, one child needs quiet to study or is too anxious to mingle, but another climbs the walls without constant interaction and chatter, or one child is very theatrical/sporty and would need lots of out-of-the-home practice time to follow that up properly that whereas the others would prefer to do online lessons leading to academic qualifications and then watch TV (both of which are hard to do at the edge of a pitch).

A wide range of ages is also awkward - especially when younger it is very possible to do a family topic that different children access at their own level, but there rapidly comes a point where the older ones need to go into things at a level of critical thought which takes time to explore beyond the 'fascinating facts' type of learning that everyone can share, which can be especially awkward if the youngest are too young to amuse themselves unsupervised for long.

Ime families try to find a compromise (just as they would if they were exposed to the same issues afterschool/weekends only) but with only one adult at a time to facilitate the home ed during the week it can mean that one or more children doesn't get to access the 'bespoke education' they would prefer because of the needs of their sibling(s) - either they all do the same thing all the time and lump it, or they differentiate and each child spends a lot of time hanging around relatively unproductively waiting for the others.

There are upsides and downsides to both traditional schooling and homeschooling. I am somebody that experienced both.

There is nothing wrong with homeschooling, when done properly. However there is not enough oversight and sadly it's not always done well.

Unschooling is absolutely selfish and cruel, and limits the child.

I think it's easier to homeschool in primary school, whereas secondary needs much more expertise and resources.

Are you a qualified teacher working in a state school in the UK OP? I think the education and quality of socialisation home educated children get can be vastly superior (although often different) to the offer provided by mainstream state schools.

I’ve seen this addressed by families working with each other - the sporty kid travels with a mate whose history-mad sibling hangs out with her brother, at its simplest. Of course it’s often not so convenient but same principle: ime home ed parents get good at asserting boundaries so are freer to offer childcare when it suits them and their kids, and can ask for same and accept a no easily. Lots of activities are organised in group chats, so the opportunities to find solutions that satisfy everyone are greater.

Unschooling is when the parent facilitates the child’s free learning and it is wonderful. It isn’t abdicating responsibility or just not educating. It requires effort and lots of communication and connection with the child.

Do you not think those exact issues happen in school, though? So even if it's not better, it's unlikely to be worse. (I know schools organise by age, so for that you could substitute level of progress/interest in the topic).

And yes as others have said if you're in touch with other home ed families there's much more flexibility to swap siblings around, whereas a y3 child who is gifted in Maths is unlikely to be able to sit in on a y6 Maths lesson for example.

And (not a home ed perspective) I find hanging around waiting time around activities or therapies that my DC do can be far from unproductive, as this tends to force not only 1:1 time between me and the other child, but also time away from home where habits are well formed - given free choice my younger two will currently opt for screen time and if that is not an option, it's lego. Being away from home without access to screens or lego means that we make the most of what is nearby, like yesterday while waiting for his brother's ball class my 7yo went out to the playground, practised the monkey bars and then the climbing wall and then came back inside to do some drawing.

With teenagers I find conversation the most brilliant tool too.

I don’t agree
with home schooling but my DD was taught by teachers coming to our home and online for the last 3.5 years of senior school due to ASD so not what you’re asking. Thankfully she took it seriously and even though she couldn’t cope with more than 5 subjects she did well and is now at college, it’s going ok, she finds it overwhelming being so social,
which is one of her problems, and noise/busy places, but it’s a small college with SEN facilities and she has a quiet room ro
uae when needed so it’s allowed her to get where she needs to be. But parents just teaching from home I’m not a
fan of at all, no socialisation, unless they’re teachers and able to deliver a good teaching experience to get
the child properly taught methodologies in all subjects then that’s a little different but most of us can’t do that, including, who has taught at HE level, I can’t teach at GCSE or A Level

"No socialisation"? Do you think we're locking them all in a cupboard all day? 🤣