To think that homeschooling (without additional needs) is selfish?

[IndigoFlamingooo]

I’ll start by saying that obviously for some DC homeschooling is unfortunately a necessity for various reasons eg: SEN/medical & MH problems/severe bullying etc. These are all valid, understandable reasons to take a child out of school.

A very different scenario however is when parents actively choose to take their child out of school for no good reason other than they think they seem to think that being taught at home is somehow going to be a better experience for their child. In reality this ends up being detrimental as a) the parents are not qualified teachers b) the child is isolated & not socialising enough with their peers and c) they end up without proper qualifications. There is even an online trend of parents trying ‘worldschooling’ - in other words travelling the world instead of school as apparently this will be a more worthy education!

On many of the homeschooling pages a common complaint is that their DC have the bare minimum (if any) GCSEs and are therefore struggling to progress into further + higher education. To me this is the height of parental irresponsibility - knowingly putting your child’s future at risk should count as neglect.

Before anyone asks - the only reason I follow these homeschooling pages is that we briefly considered it for DD when she was 15/16 due to severe medical issues at the time that rendered her unable to attend school for a year. Thankfully now resolved.

It's all those thousands of school children failed by their parents lack of interest in their education that I worry about 😞

This is really really not the case.

yes, teens who don’t get maths or English at 16 have to keep resitting until 19 if they got a 3, but even the government has accepted that if they got a 2 or a 1 or a U their chances of passing are basically zero and lets them do functional skills.

there’s a lot of kids out there, maybe 10 to 15% who never pass either maths or English.

i used to teach severely disabled and autistic teens and many of them despite never passing maths and English got jobs. Some employers are very good at working with disabled young adults and a few have specific programmes for them,

Probably not many compared to children who leave a professional school environment with little to no GCSE's.

Which is fine if the children who are home schooled aren’t capable of anything better anyway. If they can’t do any better because they haven’t been taught curriculums, exam technique and content by a useless parent that’s entirely different

I see a problem. Why on earth would you actively set such a low bar for your child? Having to do functional skills isn’t exactly aspirational..

They can do GCSEs then?

Depends. Maybe they'd be capable of more, go to a useless school and fail anyway.

I’m not a fan of homeschooling for many reasons, but selfish is very much not a word I would associate with homeschooling parents. I think it takes a vast amount of self-sacrifice, actually. I certainly couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to.

Ex-teacher now home educating my two littles. I can’t think of anything school can give them that home ed can’t. Quiet, structured morning learning time with no disruption followed by an afternoon meeting with other kids, trying different activities that they may or may not have been able to do in school. Loads of high quality groups and resources available, small group tuition etc.

My children are the quiet, wouldn’t say a word in a large setting, fairly shy type. They are the children who will get lost in the sea of children who have more needs to be met or are more forthright in their personalities. There would be days they are completely missed from the teacher’s radar. That’s limiting to them, sending the wrong message and unfair.

The nearest private / grammar to us is 75 minutes away on a good traffic day. I’m not missing my children for a full school day plus 2.5 hours of commuting when they can have a different (not better or worse) experience. Plus, children get enough pressure and exhaustion without a commute I wouldn’t do myself (FWIW I work part time hours but make it work so I’m with the children during the day).

It’s just an alternative form of education, same as private / grammar / state etc. Some good, some less good. No one goes round saying how people send their children to school because they can’t be bothered to do it themselves at home.

I do see the points about some children thriving in school, it’s great for some children. Plus I agree about not everyone having the right reasons or idea about it, but it’s definitely not all of us! 😊

Even then they can do their GCSEs alongside a college course and then go on to do whatever they like.
You're behaving as if it's a choice between taking GCSEs at 15 or 16 or doing nothing in life.

Home education is mostly the opposite of selfish, it’s putting the child’s needs and interests at the forefront rather then shoving them through an uninspiring limited state education. It’s often very social, involving alternative skills and groups or provisions. Some may sit iGCSEs privately or GCSEs through a 14-16 college provision. I know home educated children who are now GPs, architects, engineer and psychologist.

If i had the temperament for it I'd home school no question. My kids are doing really well at school but I don't love the influence of other kids behaviour. Dressed like teenagers, wearing make up, constantly posting to SM and watching reel after reel after reel - at 9/10 years old.

It's heartbreaking to see kids trying to just be kids when all the messages are aimed at older teenagers and the parents don't police it.

Give me a log cabin in the middle of nowhere any day!

It’s better for some kids. Not all kids can achieve well in a mainstream environment - with or without additional needs. You sound very rigid in your thought processes and/or like a bit of a narrow minded snob tbh.

And absolutely no one is saying that it’s the best or preferred way, it’s just another way. I personally am only refuting your assertions that its all over for 16 year olds if they don’t get their Maths & English GCSE passes at the end of year 11.

Some home schooled children do functional skills maths or English , some school children do functional skills maths or English

Im a teacher who is planning to flexi-school my children as of next year because of the state of education in schools where I live. I will have them home 2 days a week and I know that in those 2 days I will very easily be able to cover what they would in 5 days in school, and more. My only reasoning for sending them to school would be because I think that the structure and routine is important, experiences like school shows, etc. I used to worry about socialisation if I was to home school full time but I dont anymore because they have tons of friends before even starting school.

I do agree to an extent that there are some home-schooling parents who dont have the knowledge of children's learning to be able to educate their children well, but most I have met are very educated themselves and have done lots of study to the point that some know more about children's learning and development than many of the teachers I have worked with.

Have you seen just how violent and rubbish some schools are?

I haven’t read every post but it feels like there are a lot of generalisations about homeschooling. In my experience it is like anything else in this world, you can get the good, the bad, the scary and downright excellent m. I would say there are schools that could be described in the same four ways (and many more).

My DD is 15 and homeschooled. No reason other than she wanted to be. Before Covid she was in a lovely prep school that felt like it fell off the pages of Enid Blyton but she had enjoyed being home over lockdown, wanted to give it a try and put up a strong argument. We spend more on tutors, activities and taxi’s (to get her to said activities) than we used to spend on school fees. She has 3-4 hours 121 tuition in core subjects plus a selection of other lessons ranging from history to creative art (where she made a onesie for the dog last term! 🤣). She took a GCSE this year, which was 2 years early, and passed with a very solid grade. We are especially happy as we have discovered “modular iGCSEs” because it means we can spread her other 10(ish) over the next 2 years to reduce the number of exams in a single sitting. I think the number of GCSE exams out teens sit in 2 months is unreasonable but that’s just my opinion.

”But what about socialisation?” I hear you ask! Well, she represents the county in her main sport, she also participates weekly in 4 other sports, she is a young leader with Cubs, an Explorer Scout and getting some qualification by helping out/teach at the local stables. She is also a junior watersports instructor which is paid employment (we have the permits) and has a great group of friends including a boyfriend who goes to the uber selective boys school near us.

I also know of a family who consider baking qualifies as a maths lesson for a 15 year old with no SEN.

I am not saying either way is typical homeschooling but you cannot just make a general statement like you have. (And yes I do know how privileged DD is, but so does she and she is grateful for her opportunities)

But should home school kids really be aspiring to match the outcomes of the children at the absolute bottom of the school system?

I see a lack of aspiration being very common for home schooled kids.

It also seems very lonely, the recent AMA described a child who was doing independent learning all morning while their parents worked, which sounds pretty depressing.

All the teachers or ex-teachers I know send their kids to school.

I would have homeschooled if I hadn’t become a single parent needing to work full time.

I had quiet, studious children who were totally overpowered by the disruptive, vocal ones within the classroom. I don’t think children can learn well in disruptive and sometimes violent environments and I believe they would have got better passes at GCSE if they’d learned the content at home one to one. Teachers are great but I think they are pushed very hard by some pupils whose needs don’t fit mainstream learning. At home this wouldn’t happen.

YABU
“Many state schools are anything but great! I don’t think that keeping kids at home is the answer though”
that’s your opinion and if you/your kids are happy that’s great. It doesn’t mean home education is a bad idea just because you are not keen on the idea.
Nor is it ok for SEN kids but not suitable for ids without additonal needs.

School or home education , either choice is a good one depending on the circumstances. For some school is a bad choice for some home ed is a bad choice. Nor does either choice need to be permanent.

My kids were both home educated for 10-12 years each. Both went to uni. Both are doing brilliantly now.
What other families choose to do isn’t any of your business. I can see no reason why their choice impacts on you.

Presumably it's a similar spread to schooled children - some home schooled children are very high achieving, some are average, some do just as well as children in school.
Is there any evidence that home schooled children are doing worse than similar school children?
Especially as there are going to be a much higher percentage of children with SEN or who have been traumatised or failed by the education system amongst home educated children.

I think you are incredibly judgemental and you clearly have little experience of homeschoolers. For your information they vary and you can’t bunch them all together, who knew! 🙄
I’ve known a lot of teachers and while some are good, particularly at primary level some are not the brightest stars in the firmament. Well educated, well motivated parents can easily do a much better job including making sure their children are enjoying abundant opportunities for socialising. Done well home schooling is far superior to our state education in my opinion.

My dc were home ed all the way through. My now adult ds has said that an unwillingness to homeschool dc would be a relationship breaker for him with a potential partner, as he cannot imagine being forced to go to school all their lives, and that all his friends who go to school hate it and wish they didn't have to. He does very well socially, academically and professionally.

We sacrificed a lot career and free time wise to be able to home ed them, so I don't really think that it was a more selfish move than dumping them in the local school, but then others would disagree.

You don’t know what you’re talking about OP. My DC were home ed until 16. Did GCSEs at home then went to school for 6th form. All three went to Oxford or Cambridge. I know many other home ed kids who’ve gone to Oxbridge and other great universities. None of us are spouting about it on SM though!

I was responding to the posts on this thread from PP who were saying it's fine if home schooled kids don't get GCSEs as not every school child gets them, as if it's a race to the bottom.