AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

That's such a cheap rate. I'd be embarrassed to hear how you've carried on. Whether they do this for a living or not, expecting someone to take a day out of their personal time, travel etc and do a friend of a friend a favour.... You're a CF.

well more fool you. Most people seek higher paid employment as they build up years of experience.

So you want a pianist for the whole ceremony and part of the reception, to play at the beginning and during and after the ceremony, several hours work for which they will have to practice and spend time agreeing a play list with you and also visiting the venue to check out the piano. £220 sounds cheap to me. What are you expecting to pay for an afternoon's music by a professional pianist who earns at least part of their living this way?
You have to pay for people's expertise. For example if you want church bells at your wedding you have to pay the ringers. Half an hour of ringing on eight bells will cost you a couple of hundred pounds - the pianist's charge is utterly reasonable.

She's not "supposed". She's a pianist. She plays at weddings.
You can't afford it? Don't denigrate her work, get something cheaper. Lots of suggestions upthread.

Give me an example of careers or professions in which overtime is paid as standard, outside of the medical fields.

2500 people and counting have told you that you have utterly embarrassed yourself and are a skinflint Bridezilla.

Time to accept this and not cling to the one or two skinflints like yourself who are propping up your entitlement :)

Gawd, don't get her started on bellringers....

Honestly as someone whose mum was a grade 8 pianist, a church organist, a music teacher and occasional casual piano teacher...Piano really is the instrument you learn for decades just to play badly! There's so much going on behind the scenes. I think this is a fair price.

You clearly have no idea how many hours go into that one or two hours of performance. I've played at weddings for friends (never charged) and there is a lot that goes into practicing, finding an accompanist if I need one and then practicing with them. At least a few hours. If I need to buy the sheet music, that's not cheap. It's probably cheaper these days with downloads you can get. That one hour has a lot behind it.

And yet you don't play the piano. Shame that.

@Another76543 £57k is not unreasonably high for some one who has trained for years in their profession. There are graduate jobs offering higher salaries than that.

£57k is a very high salary and is within the higher tax bracket. For reference by the way, £57k is generally equivalent to band 8 in the NHS.

Graduate jobs offering higher salaries than that would be extremely unusual and exceptional. Someone with a PhD in a STEM field for example would most likely be looking at starting on £30k.

Train driver.

Who also could well be making more than £220/hour, by the way.

Self employed really is very very different to being salaried. My husband is on 40k a year employed. I earn around 45k self employed. By the time he’s factored in his generous employer pension contributions, his annual leave including bank holidays, his sick pay (full pay from day one for up to 6 months), his private health insurance etc I’m actually worse off than him over the year.

This is reeeeeaaally cheap for a professional wedding musician. Have you had quotes back from your florist/photographer/videographer yet? Being a part of a wedding in any role is a lot of pressure and involves a lot of preparation time to ensure delivery is perfect on one of the most important days of someone’s life. And presuming you want to request specific songs for her to learn and practice, those 2 hours of playing time can easily turn into more than 2 full days of work.

Agree with other posters as well about supply and demand, wedding musicians can charge anything from £200 (which is as I said very low) up to more than £5000 plus travel based on their expertise and how much they are in demand.

£110 an hour. Yep mention wedding and the price goes up 100's%.

OMG please stop! 😂

It’s an extremely reasonable price. Sorry op. You offended her by saying her work should be much cheaper.

Team Pianist.
I once played the organ for a wedding - the fee is £150 via the church (a few years ago) and received a card with £10 in. They thought because they knew mw the church would waive it. I took it as an extra!

Give me examples of the majority of standard jobs (as you first stated though now you've tried to up the ante to professionals - it doesn't actually matter though as I am still correct) in which overtime is not paid as standard.

Give real life examples and link to sources.

As you are the one making the absurd claim so you have to prove it :)

And, again, thank you so much for this silly derailing niggle which proves irrevocably that you were completely incorrect in your attempted comparison of a musician to a standard employee and are now utterly embarrassing yourself in an attempt to double down :)

Once again, for hte hard of thinking and over entitled:

The overwhelming majority of people are paid superannuation, holiday pay, sick leave and have all the stable dependency that comes with an employer. They also don't have to set up their desks and computers and take them down every day then bring them home and do it all again the next day. Nor do they have to learn a new set of processes each time they enter the office (unlike musicians who must learn a new set each time). Most people in standard jobs will be paid extra for working very early, very late or the weekend.

Being a musician is therefore not comparable in any way to a standard job and they absolutely always factor in travel time and set up time.

If you are accepting the salary of an inexperienced employee, you are being very daft.

certainly don't charge my employer for all the years I have done my job previously.
most of us are 😂and increase it every year!

I also charge for my degree - and my commute actually 😂

OP, I genuinely would love to know what job you actually do!

My son played piano at a wedding and charged £200 - that was based on the fact that he was 14 and an adult/professional would charge £500.

The pianist gave you a very competitive quote and was probably pretty taken aback with your response. Yes she probably could have handled it better letting you know that she was no longer available as I doubt she would want to play after it was clear you didn't consider her cost good value for money.

You are not paying for 2 hours - you are paying for a skilled person to brush up on their wedding repertoire, give up the majority of their day and whatever else they would usually be doing, travel and if required lug equipment while looking wedding appropriate.

I got my drains unblocked the other week. The chap was at my house less than 20 minutes and he charged 90 quid. Worth every penny.

I certainly don't charge my employer for all the years I have done my job previously

I do. It's called being experienced.

Another one. 😂 I can't cope!

There are loads of graduate jobs starting at more than £30k. And you don’t need a “PhD in a STEM field” to get one!

You’re not just paying her to sit on her bum and play the piano for two hours. Otherwise you could pay literally anybody. You could pay my three year old to do that. You’re paying because she’s a professional who’s spent tens of thousands of hours practising. You’re paying for her training and skills.