relaxing in your own home.

[wannawalkroundinmynightie]

help me out here. The facts:
27 year old daughter at home.
Boyfriend here every Friday to Sunday.
She pays £400 a month to me. Need the money as single income and had lots of time off ill, and I am self employed. Work full time with a commute, health issues.
One bathroom.
I am fed up having to negotiate my space, they are here all the time, they lie in bed until late afternoon only getting up for food. They don't get up unless it is to go out for more food (Starbucks et) and they are meant to be saving to move out.
Never an offer of help around the house, they do their own dishes but nothing beyond that, still asking her to do her share of chores and she has been back several years and there has never yet been a week where I have not had to ask her to clean the bathroom or the kitchen (we are supposed to rotate weekly, I don't want to pay a cleaner or she will never learn to do anything.)
Give it to me straight.

just want to add I am ill this weekend and do not want to get dressed and I do not want to have to put bloody clothes on to cross the hall or go downstairs if her boyfriend is here. He is a nice lad but still, women's space and all that.

Could you up her rent by £30 per week to pay for a cleaner and then wait for her to tell you that she can in fact do it?

Increase how much she pays to cover the cost of the boyfriend and her not helping with chores. I would ask how much they have saved to move out, and when they are planning to move.

Tell her to stay at her boyfriend's parents instead - or rent somewhere.

She's not a child, she's a grown woman of 27. I was married with 2 children and a mortgage at that age.

Just tell her that her boyfriend can only stay every other weekend and be firm about it. Doesn’t really matter what she is paying - it’s still your house.

I'd have a cleaning/chore rota- bins out, cleaning the bathroom etc. Also up the rent or ask them to stay at HIS parents every other weekend.

You need to man up and tell her you want your own space at the weekends. She can go to his for the number of weekends that he's been presumably freeloading off you. How long has it been? Say she goes to his for 6 months/a year/3 years every weekend so you're quits and then they move out.

Boyfriend every other weekend. Hold firmly.

Up her rent to cover a cleaner.

Give her 6 months to get herself sorted and move out.

Keep 'em coming, I need to firm resolve which is today to put the bloody house on the market, cash in and do that #kidsaregetting nothing. Will chuck them £10k so they can ramen their little hearts out.

Yep. This xx

18 months. I know, I am a div. I am the one that has to keep going away.

Depends how much you need her £400 a month really. If you dig in and she says no problem, I’ll just move out can you continue to pay your bills?

Quite frankly, she needs to go now. I could let her room for a few days a week or for the month for twice that if I needed to but I probably wouldn't have such high bills anyway when they both stop streaming and charging and gaming and making aforementioned ramen noodle all day.

27?

God almighty

Give her a 4 week deadline to find and source a house share on spareroom.com and then a further 2 weeks to arrange the move.

It not good for her or you. She isnt a grown up and she is nearly 30!

I know. She has a lovely car and nice nails though.
(seriously now, I know you are right, you are all right.)

This. 100%

I'd start looked at lodger sites to get an idea of local rent. Print off some candidates. Assuming the amount is more than what she is paying, I'd give them an ultimatum that they need to move out or match the going rate. Or not offer to match the rate, they just need to go by X date.

She definitely needs to move out asap. She has been an adult for nearly a decade and still hasn’t built an adult life. She doesn’t have to move straight from mum to a purchased home, she can rent a room or share an apartment with a friend/boyfriend. I know things are more expensive these days but nobody lived at home at 27 when I was in my 20s. We just rented what we could afford, learnt to live on a shoestring and didn’t complain if we had to share a bathroom with 5 strangers or commute an hour to work. She has it too good and it’s negatively affecting you. Your parenting days are over.

You need to sit down and see how much they have saved. If it’s close then I would muddle through. Up the rent and start storing it for them to ensure they get over the line.

If they haven’t even started or it’s a pathetic amount then either up the rent to all her wage and give her x amount pocket money or tell them to move out.

I know, I am done parenting. I just feel so drained all the time by it. They were away the other week and I had the weekend to myself and guess what, I am a secret naturist! All the curtains stayed closed tho'.

And all the electric etc from laundry, showers...and your water bill...and you'll get a 25% council discount 😊 bet financially you'll be no worse off and have your privacy back 👍

Give her a month to move out. Tell her today. Shes taking the piss. Bet shes lied about saving up too and has nothing.

You're probably right, sad but true. They have a hell of a shock to come, I have been too soft and she doesn't take me seriously. She has been a bit contemptuous of me lately so that is enough for me now.

How does them being in bed affect you? Just get up and live your life.

They need to move out and in together 🤷‍♀️

At 27 she’s too old to be taking the piss, just tell her it’s time they got their own place.