AIBU to call in sick if life has just got on top of me?

[INeedFreshAirAndGreen]

I was off sick from work last week for a couple of days. I'm still feeling terrible, and so may have to call in sick tomorrow.

I've got a lot of family stress in my life at the minute and it has taken its toll on my mental health. So, on Thursday I called in sick because I just couldn't face work after a really poor nights sleep. I've hardly slept since then too and I feel awful and anxious.

I feel guilty as I don't have a virus, or covid. I just needed a couple of MH days. If I have had decent sleep I am perfectly fine to deal with life stresses, but over the past few weeks there have been a lot of things going on that are very overwhelming.

AIBU to call in sick if I am sleep deprived, and stressed out? I don't really want to tell my co. that I am stressed or can't sleep as they may not see this as a valid reason to be off.

Does anyone else call in sick like this and if so, what do you say?

FYI I am rarely off sick. Twice this year, but one of them was because I tripped over work equipment and hurt my leg, so that was on them. My colleagues are always off sick for the drop of a hat so I don't know why I feel so bad. I need this job so don't want to take the piss.

I mean mental health is as important as physical health- sounds like you genuinely feel overwhelmed and need a bit of time to rest and reset. It’s not like you rang in sick and took yourself off for a spa day.

Think of it as charging a phone when the battery is on 2%- it’s better for work and your colleagues too if you go back once you’ve done are able to be productive. Often when people “push through”, mistakes happen, shorter fuses mean more conflict at work and things are just more likely to get in a muddle. If you still feel like this in a few days though I would maybe try getting an appointment with your GP to discuss.

It's ok to take time if you need it but if you don't address the stressor or lack of sleep this will keep overwhelming you.

Are you doing any self-care? Exercise? mediation? Anything to relax?

You say you’ve been off work sick twice already this year and this is your third occurrence? I think 3 sickness episodes in a year is quite a lot and certainly when I have worked for a local authority, 3 sickness episodes in one year would trigger a sickness procedure/investigation.

You also say one incident was due to tripping over something at work and hurting your leg? Did you break a bone or just have a sore leg? If the latter, I would see that as a flakey reason for taking time off.

If you’re genuinely feeling too stressed to work, you need to explain the situation to your employer who may refer you to occupational health or an employer counselling scheme, so that appropriate help can be offered. You can’t keep taking time off work because you feel ‘overwhelmed’ with stuff going on in your life. If everyone did this, nobody would ever be at work.

Yanbu girl, your work will replace you if you die xx

mental health is still health. You were quite happy to take time off when you physically help yourself so why not when you’re mentally hurt m?

However what I think you need to consider is what next? Are you going in tomorrow? if not what are you going to do, get signed off? You need to do something to address the root cause.

YADNBU

Work would replace you in a heartbeat.

I think that’s fine. Only you know if your workplace has draconian sickness policies.

But as a PP said, you need to address the underlying issues to really get better.

Taking mental health days seems very fashionable now.

But what's wrong with taking annual leave?

I work with someone who constantly goes off sick when she can't sleep/feels low/can't face work.

I'm not sure how much annual leave she has left but it must be loads, as she rarely seems to take any unless she's actually going on a holiday.

I don't necessarily think you are 'unreasonable', but it isn't working is it? You've had a couple of days off, plus the weekend, and you are still feeling overwhelmed and have not been sleeping. So why do you think more time off will help? You need to get help and support for your insomnia and anxiety (or if you already have help, you need more/different help).

Old me would have said no.
Old me kept on going until she had a breakdown.
Mental health is important , if you need time off then you need time off.

Sleep deprivation will make you feel ill. I can cope much better working with a virus than I do after 5 days of poor quality sleep.

Are companies generally sympathetic if you’ve got family issues.

I’m not sleeping as I just found out my parent has cancer, and I think it’s going to be hard for them and us to deal with. That’s how my sleepless night started, by being very upset at the diagnosis.

I’ve been off sick twice, including this one, this year. I was actually quite injured and had to go to A&E and fractured a bone.

Time off because you are feeling mentally unwell is perfectly justified. However, just as with physical health, people need to get to grips with the underlying cause and take steps to improve health if they can. Just as with physical health, reasonable adjustments might be required at work if the issue persists.

If you work for a corporate employer, do you have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that you can access?

They will listen and help you sort your thoughts and develop coping strategies.

I'm sorry to hear about the cancer diagnosis.

They’d have to, to fill her role.

Yes of course you’re entitled to go off sick. Stress is a debilitating illness that should be taken seriously. Wishing you well xx

There may be more going on than you realise. It’s about what’s necessary not what’s ‘fashionable’

Exactly. No point suffering in life if they will just replace in death

But it does seem fashionable when you look around the internet.

It started off being called a 'duvet day' and now it's a 'mental health day'.

Even if all of those people have things going on, I would expect them to use at least some of their annual leave for it.

Is this not what annual leave is for? If you keep taking time off sick you will soon find yourself in procedures and your absences monitored. I used to see work as sanctuary away from everything else that was going off in life for 7-8 hours and keep myself as busy as possible

I know someone who does this and I think it is reasonable. But it sounds like it may not be a short term thing and are you going to be in any position to go back to work after a couple of days? I think you possibly need to tell work after you go back so they know as you may need more time off further down the line for their appointments etc and this would then impact your work colleagues and they maybe able to put things in place ie look at temporary extra staff.

If you need the job then I’d be a bit wary here to be honest. Use annual leave rather than sick leave to give yourself some breathing space.

Using sick leave for several days of because you are upset about a relative’s diagnosis would not be justified IMO. Holiday allowance should be used in this situation, or unpaid leave - you are not sick!
I have been in your situation, my dad had cancer, so I understand it is upsetting, but life has to go on.

Ok so I see now it was a mistake. However calling up and saying I was upset and can I take it as annual leave would have been denied.

Out of our whole department I have the least sickness absence. I know that for a fact. I think what happened was I felt terrible and I thought “why not, everyone else is at it”. One of my colleagues told me they were off sick and when asked said they had a hangover.

This thread has been helpful though. I need to keep this job (so it was a stupid idea) and I think I’m just going to have to drag myself in whatever is going on. The problem is the drive. I just didn’t feel fit to drive I was so upset and tired.

If you are not well enough to be in work then it’s justified to be off work, whether that’s because of stress, lack of sleep or any MH condition. MH conditions account for roughly 10% of all work related absences.