To feel I’m not doing enough to help my reception child?

[stickmanbewareofthesnow]

I worry about this a lot. I know I should be practicing phonics with her and I do think there might be other gaps in her knowledge (numbers for instance) but finding the time is hard.

It shouldn’t be; I work but part time and I do have another child but it’s only one child. But he is quite demanding (2.) I feel likeDDs left to her own devices more than she should be as I’m sorting the other.

We do read a lot and I’m trying to introduce this mornings as well as evenings but worried she’s going to fall behind.

Have the school said she is struggling or falling behind?

I think that’s a bit unfair on @birling16 op. She’s telling you to unclench. The school will be aware and will be bringing your dd in line over the course of the academic year. She’s only little. Learning happens over a lifetime. The more you stress, the more she’ll lose the joy of learning because it’ll be wrapped up your anxiety. You’re not a teacher - leave it to them.

Reading at home is the main way she’ll learn vocab, grammar, sentence construction, comprehension and lots more like empathy, story telling, imagination. Just do that.

I agree with @birling16 and I used to be a Reception teacher. The advice from other posters about counting during your day and looking at numbers and letters you see around you is good. Read loads of stories purely for the love of it until they can recite The Gruffalo, Little Rabbit Foo Foo or whatever just because it's fun. They are at school all day, encourage their curiosity but let them relax and play. There is no advantage in rushing things. She will learn to read anyway.

I’m aware of what she’s telling me and it isn’t helpful. I’ve tried to explain nicely so many times that I’m wondering what I can do as a parent to support my DD. If people think the answer to that is ‘do nothing, keep reading with her’ I understand why they say that but that isn’t what the school have said, and I feel that I’m not completing the phonics revision very well with her.

You sound like a great mum and she’s still so young. Don’t put pressure on yourself or her.

Their development isn’t always proportionate or linear- it can happen in fits and starts. My son was a high achiever in maths and primary and it ended up where we were worried whether or not he’d scrape a 4 at GCSE. I was in the intervention group for maths at primary I was so bad and ended up getting easily getting a B. I know this is two anecdotal examples but the most counterproductive thing you can do is worry excessively about this - it won’t be productive for either of you.

That’s very kind thank you.

It honestly isn’t about putting pressure on her. It’s just about supporting her. I don’t want her to fall behind because I am not doing what I should be!

I'm not arguing?? I think I said you were doing your best and I gave a potted example from my own family.

I'm sorry I'm not an expert in this field.

Don’t worry - she will be fine. Have you got a parents’ evening this term? You will probably be reassured that she is on track.

Bear in mind that the teacher is under pressure for 'results'. As a teacher myself I really don't think this is in the best interests of the child. When I started teaching in the 80s there wasn't this kind of pressure for immediate, measurable results at such a young age and people now in their 40s passed exams and went to university/got jobs etc. In other countries children aren't even in school at this age and they manage to achieve academically later on.

I think most four and five year olds are doing something similar to EYFS, to be honest, certainly in Western Europe.

My child’s private school didn’t like parents helping with phonics. They said leaving a child to their own devices was the best thing to do. And they got them reading to a year level ahead within 3 months. So I’d just trust the teachers.

Four and five year olds are part of EYFS in England. (Wales it goes up to 7 I think, not sure about Scotland).

5 mins reading every day is all you need to do with a reception age child. Honestly.

I’m reading that you’re more concerned about your role in supporting her than in your DDs reading development?

I’m also a secondary teacher and felt out of my depth when my own kids were at primary. I followed people like fiveminutemun (who has been mentioned already) and playhooray, who are both very experienced in the classroom and knowledgeable of the eyfs curriculum and have very sensible and practical suggestions for supporting your child. Lots of little games and activities that don’t cost anything and take a few minutes.

Yes, I know. I meant that most four and five year olds are doing something similar to the reception curriculum regardless of the country, even if it isn’t ’school.’

It really isn’t @lighteningthequeen . That’s not going to support her in the slightest.

Thanks @lickycat