To feel I’m not doing enough to help my reception child?

[stickmanbewareofthesnow]

I worry about this a lot. I know I should be practicing phonics with her and I do think there might be other gaps in her knowledge (numbers for instance) but finding the time is hard.

It shouldn’t be; I work but part time and I do have another child but it’s only one child. But he is quite demanding (2.) I feel likeDDs left to her own devices more than she should be as I’m sorting the other.

We do read a lot and I’m trying to introduce this mornings as well as evenings but worried she’s going to fall behind.

"falling behind" What exactly? Children develop at different rates. And change,we have forgotten this somehow.

Honestly I never spent much time on the school stuff. I think its much more important to fill the other gaps. Just bring her places and be present with her when you can, talking about how the world works and asking her for her thoughts. Cooking or baking or doing chores together. Prompting an interest in books by having them around the house and enjoying reading together will do more for her literacy than phonics because it will motivate her to learn. Just engage when you can. If she doesn't have much screen time and is playing then that's great, playing is probably the most valuable learning tool of all.

Falling behind in learning to read.

Children do have different learning rates but the thing with reading is it’s just so absolutely crucial, it underpins everything else.

If she misses a step in that process then that could have detrimental effects for a while.

She has been at school a month. You need to relax let her get settled into school and learn to enjoy learning. At this point depending on the scheme being used (and when baseline was finished!) they will have only covered 10/15 sounds in most cases. They are right at the start of there learning journey.

As everyone has said it’s the reading that is key at this point.

Did she go to nursery? I’m a bit surprised they wouldn’t have worked on getting her to recognize her own name before she started school as that’s on the school readiness list, especially for an older in the year child. Maybe you could start with that, getting her to learn all the letter sounds in her own name and being able to read and write them. It’s sometimes easier to learn them when they have meaning. I remember last year when my dd was at the beginning of reception they did letter trains for their names where the letters were mixed up and they had to find their letters and put them in the right order to make their name.

She sounds like she’s doing great and it’s far too early to be worried about her falling behind. DS definitely was slow to pick phonics up in Reception but by Year 1, he was assessed as being at Greater Depth in reading. I always thought the most important thing was to make it fun and encourage a love of learning. I think a PP recommended I Spy which is great. Plus, if I’m honest, a fair amount of alphablocks…

Primary teacher here with a lot of reception experience and a 5 yo who has just gone to y1. Phonics wise- can she blend e.g. if you say oooh look at that ch air. Would she blend it? If not play blending games while youre out and about e.g. shall we b ie k (sounds not spelling) or shall we s c oo t?. Most kids who struggle with their phonics know the sounds (and they learn them at school) but the leap between hearing sounds and blending is quite big.
Maths wise. Loads of counting, number recognition while you're out and about- how many d u ck s? What's that number there.
You're already reading so you're doing more than a lot of parents

Just focus on keeping reading fun for her, I wouldn't be delving into phonics or workbooks or anything. Just give her a solid foundation, have her follow along with reading stories and recognising letters. She'll learn very quickly once at school.

Don’t follow a different phonics or reading scheme to the one they do at school, it’ll just confuse her.

Ask school which reading level DD is at and which phonics scheme they follow, then buy a few used copies of the same books online. But our school is very clear - it’s their job to teach our children to read, and we just have to sit and read with them each evening, following the assigned book. We also read stories to DS and now he’s older he reads to us from basic chapter books and picture books.

But honestly if you’re an invested parent who shows and interest and reads with her each day she will be fine. Make sure she has access to drawing materials too to help letter formation and grip.

@stickmanbewareofthesnow children’s brains develop in stages. They will learn heaps for a while and then seem to learn nothing for ages. Then one day, they will do an enormous jump. A connection in the brain has been made. Remember, baby brains are just a lump of mush. It takes 25 years for the brain to stop developing.

It may well be that your dc’s brain is currently in pause mode. You need to be patient. If, in six months, nothing has happened, a discussion may be called for. But if you are reading aloud, singing and chatting while out and about, you are doing all the right things. But you need to model patience, not panic.

Settle there, petal.

Don't panic. It's very early days yet. She'll be fine. Just do a bit a day. I think it clicks for most after Easter. The school will be doing it daily. Mine took off after Easter. Loved reading. All As in their exams later down the line. It's not a race.

I think there are two issues at least.

Finding the time - you "just" (sorry) carve out five minutes while younger child is occupied. I have three young kids so life can be full-on, but I practice HRS words with the younger two in the car while we wait for the eldest at pickup, and I bought a whiteboard so they can practice their names. That sort of thing. You do just need to make the time if there are gaps in their knowledge.

What you should actually be doing - I would get clearer info from the school about what they are doing in any given week, and reinforce that at home. Given what you have written recognising her name (and tracing it?) seems like a good place to start.

Thanks for these answers. Will try to address them.

@Overthebow she went to nursery but I don’t think it was too crucial she recognised her name as her peg had her picture on it.

Thanks @mynameiscalypso . I’ve tried to get her into Alphablocks and number blocks for ages but she just really isn’t engaged by it unfortunately!

@Movingtodarkestperu she can’t blend yet afaik. She’s very much just recognising some letters and the sounds they make. No idea if this is typical at this stage or not.

I promise I’m not panicking or even worrying (much!) my main worry is me, that I could be doing more to support her.

I think the fact your asking yourself if your doing enough shows you are! Carry on enjoying the time with her as you are.

Totally get the concern around supporting her but honestly the amount of progress they make in reception is genuinely amazing. My husband (not a teacher) sat around Xmas and watched our 5yo sound and blending a few simple words (cat, man etc) and just shook his head because in his words "I dont get how you make them go from not reading to reading"
Your happy well adjusted little one will do well because you are a parent who is supportive. Reading, lots of talking when youre out and about and the school will tell you how she is doing and what you can do to help.

Where I live (EU) kids start school at 7 and they're not expected to be able to read by then. Some can, but most can't and they all learn in the first grade. We read a lot with ours (5&2) and the 5yo knows the letters and can write his name and recognise a few other words but I'm actually really glad he's free of any pressure to be actively learning to read in any particular time frame at this point so he can do it at his own pace, or not at all if he'd rather be digging in the mud or building or drawing etc.

Tricky words are words they have to recognise by sight because they don't follow (initial) phonics rules. I think the first few were "the", "I", "he", "she". They may not have started these until after the first half term, I can't really remember. Do you have a curriculum evening or anything coming up where they might go over what they are teaching and when?

She may be fixating on "p" because they don't learn letters alphabetically - I think it's s-a-t-p-e-n to start with because those letters let you read the most words.

She has been at school for four weeks - you really shouldn't be worrying as much as you are about reading underpinning everything. It's true that it does, but she doesn't need to be reading words now. By the end of reception, they need to be able to blend sounds and read simple sentences - she doesn't need to be doing it now. The teachers will tell you if she's not meeting expected standards. The first term of reception is very much about learning how to be in school, even for kids who've done nursery.

This. Avoid putting too much pressure on her. Let her enjoy being 5.

You don't need to sit down with a child that age and do planned activities to help them. Sing number songs whilst getting ready, point out numbers words and letters you see in the environment as you go about your day- shops, car licence plates, road/street signs etc. Say what letter something begins with, eg giving an apple for a snack say a a a a for apple. Talk about addition and subtraction when doing snack- cut up the apple and count how many are left when one piece is gone, share the pieces and see what each person has. There is so much you can do to help without actually taking any time out if your day.

Most reception kids would do far better if when they came home just played outside, cuddled up reading books with an adult, and did lots of drawing and imaginative play. They don’t need screens and they don’t need extra phonics. Caring adults, safe home, good food and space to explore the world is enough at that age (outside of the classroom).

I thought it was SATPIN rather than PEN, but all the same I'd stick to CVC words that can be created from those letters, rather than "mouse" which is way ahead from where she's at. I would also focus a little on helping her know her name, so if you can buy those colourful magnetic letters, you could both work together on making her name from them. Otherwise just stick with the SATPIN sounds and see if she can make words like PAT, TIN, SAP, etc. Make it a light-hearted game. She's already doing a long day in school, even if it is mostly play based learning she's doesn't really need much more. Reading to her at bedtime is lovely and if you can hold the book so she can see the words and pictures, it'll help I'm sure.

I wouldn't worry about her falling behind until the teachers are concerned, there's tons of variation in how quickly children pick up this stuff and there's a long way to go. You've also got holidays to do a bit more reading practice with her, if you make it part of your routine so you're consistent with it and keep it light, she's more likely to carry on with it and keep improving.

Are you worried she is actually falling behind already? Because from what you say she doesn't sound as though she is.
Has she had any books with words in them yet? My DD at this stage had those awful books that are like ' a pan. A pin. Tap tap. A din!'
Anyway she's in year 2 and is reading chapter books now.
We listened to her read before bed every night. We are also time poor - two kids, full time work, long commutes , kids at after school club every day. They get a lot of phonics input at school and you'll be surprised how quickly it develops.

https://frodingham-infantschool.co.uk/parental_information/little_wandle/little_wandle.html.

We're also little wandle and I'm borrowing these homework sheets from this kind school who upload a lot of resources! We dont have any homework at such at our school so this gives me a weekly guide to recapping with DD.

We play around with the flashcards too, swatting or jumping on them when I say the sound gets them more engaged that just "what sound is this"

It's October, she's been in school weeks. I have a horrible feeling that the more you worry, the worse it will get.

My son could not and would not read. On arrival at Secondary school they called me in. His scores were amongst the highest they had ever seen.

Letters on the bath? The odd word game in the car....light touch.

All I’m really asking is what to best do to support her @birling16 . If you have an issue with that, just move on. It’s turning a helpful thread argumentative.

I am really grateful for the advice and suggestions. As a parent my worry is with me - have I done everything I should have, have I supported her transitions as best I can? That’s all the thread is about really. As much as people say ‘just read / sing / count’ that hasn’t actually helped her learn to read or recognise numbers so I do need to be a bit more active in that.