Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

I'm guessing this is a big city school?. They haven't got time to be calling every late parent.

London primaries manage it...

You know schools and childcare has a point where they ring social services because a child hasn't been collected?
I'd be thankful that they used the resources available and put her in childcare for the evening instead of you being met by a social worker.
I think your anger is misplaced here. Pay the fee, and thank everyone involved because they kept her safe and didn't make life hard for you.

I don't think a complaint is the right way to go, but could you ring them to apologise and in the course of that say something like,

"I'm horrified that if I hasn't called my sister to check in I wouldn't have known she hasn't been picked up. By the way, please could you let me know what your policy would have been re ringing me? Would someone have rung me during after day care or only if she hasn't been picked up at the end of that? I'm never planning on this happening again, obviously(!) but it would put my mind at rest to know"?

We missed school pick up once OP- my husband had the afternoon off and was on pick up duty and had nodded off on the sofa. Our pick up is also 3.20pm and the school called me about 3.40pm to check everything was okay. We managed to collect before 4pm (no charge- my kid was sat in the school reception with an adult). But we don't ever use the after school club so I guess we wouldn't be registered.

I would maybe mention it to the school, but keep it light/ feedback and also thank them for sorting her when your family messed up the pick up.

Only person you should be complaining to is your sister here.

I'm not understanding why op should be "full of shame" when it was her sister that failed to collect the child?

They probably presumed you were running late. I work in a school and there are lots of children collected late , these are put into one of the after school clubs and I go and get them when their parent arrives.
We would start to call parents if they still hadn't collected at the end of the club. So I imagine that you would have got a phone call then

Exactly! School office is EXTREMELY busy at closing time. They haven't got time to be calling late parents!

And yet many of us know schools where the policy is to ring first. This is mind blowing but perhaps there is not a UK wide rule...

I honestly would be so embarrassed and full of shame about this…

Whatever for?

Not sure how accurate that is. My child’s school wouldn’t allow reception and YR1 pupils leave the school without a handover. But definitely after that children just left the classroom and came into the school yard for pick up, with no oversight from teachers.

Do you not have to let school know who is collecting her if not you? If my parents or whoever we're down to collect I would always make sure school knew and had their contact details. Had they tried to contact your sister?

Interesting. I can only base my opinion on how my school dealt with things.
Maybe my school is smaller than some of the other schools on here but our office staff were more than capable of ringing the emergency contact numbers ten minutes after the child should have been collected.
You live and learn though that schools differ hugely.

Yes just go ahead and complain to the school and instruct them next time your kid isn’t collected that they should chuck her out and tell her to made her own way home.
I can’t believe this post. I would be so relieved DD kept safe - not whinging about it FFS!

Because they are my child and it is my job to look after them and ensure appropriate provision is made. I would feel shame that I had let my child down and would tell my sister that she had made me feel this way and that she had embarrassed me infront of the school staff and my own chid. I would be furious with her.

Jesus, this thread is bonkers!!

I'm a school business manager and this is literally part of the job description!

If a child doesn't come in and we don't hear from their parents/carers we call through their contact list.
If a child isnt collected and we don't hear from their parents/carers we call through their contact list.

It's basic, basic safeguarding!!!

Yes they absolutely should have called. I usually give a 10 min grace period so if school finished at 3.20, any children uncollected, their parents/carers would be contacted at 3.30. If I can't get through to contact A, it's on to contact b, then c. If no one answers, it's an email. It all logged on the system.

The child would be put in ASC and attempting to contact family would continue. If no one gets back to us by end of ASC, we start the child abandoned procedure which I've only ever had to do once.

OP, speak to the school and ask their policy on late collections. Perhaps they have a half hour grace period, perhaps they specify that children will be auto enrolled in ASC at a cost to the parents and no contact will be made but at the very least you can flag that you don't agree with this policy.

Instead of being annoyed that they didn't call, count yourself lucky that your school has afterschool club, and that they were willing to help. Plenty of schools do not.

Send the bill to your sister. And either book your child into afterschool club all the time or find reliable professional child care.

OP, your anger is skewed. It should be 100% aimed at your sister and the fact she let you and DD down. School deserves a thank you for taking care of your child.

Aftercare may be expensive but at least it’s reliable. I’d be using that more frequently.

I would email and just say thanks so much for putting Daughter in after school club after she wasn’t collected as planned, and grateful if they could ring you next time.

I’d put it nicely and now they know to ring if it happens in future.

Because they are my child and it is my job to look after them and ensure appropriate provision is made.

The OP had made provision and her sister forget. Things happen, carrying around unnecessary shame is pointless.

I guess different schools have stuff policies. In my twins school they transfer to the late room, then after school club. They have a lot to be getting on with. The office usually has a queue at closing time. There are too many children to start calling the parents.

I think it's reasonable to ask why you wasn't phoned. When they would have phoned. What happens when no one comes at 5pm.

My son gets a taxi home from SEN school. I checked with one driver what the policy was if I wasn't in to collect him. It was to take him to police station for socail services to pick him and deal with it. In reality in ten years that's never happened. But if they had done it especially when he was tiny it would have been carnage for the police

I guess different schools have stuff policies.

Yes, imagine that!

There are too many children to start calling the parents.

Too many dc who have parents that are constantly late and end up in ASC?

I don't think it's the school I'd be asking for an explanation.

You need to own the mistake and stop blaming others. This is your responsibility. Although you tried to the right thing, it didn’t work out and you were let down by others.

Everyone makes mistakes and you’ll make better choices for childcare next time.

You would call the LADO for a parent not collecting their child?