Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

The school will have a policy. What does it say? If the school didn't act according to their policy, then yes you should complain. If they did act according to their policy and you, as a parent, have no idea what that policy is, then you should really look to yourself.

Surely your sister should pay the charge?

Does she know you've had to pay out because of her carelessness?

YANBU by the way. The posters who love a mindless pile on are tiresome.

Wondering why the school didn't call, and confirming the school policy is one thing.

Expressing frustration at the fine and considering complaining to the school is another.

I get it. Money is tight, shift work makes the school run an absolute nightmare, often with a patchwork of friends, family, and other parents chipping in to make it just about doable because ASC daily isn't financially viable. It ain't easy.

OP should have dropped her sister a note at lunchtime to remind her of their agreement but in some roles you don't have a break at that time and you may not have access to your phone during work hours.

So it sounds like OP was spinning loads of plates and one fell to the ground. It happens.

@Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar Thank school, check about policy, pay fine, and in future check with person picking up the day before/on the day if they are all set for pick up. Chin up!

OP phoned sister not the other way round.

This. Pick ups are on the parents to arrange. Sis was obviously more interested in new bf than her niece, how the fuck would she forget?

Unless you were on the doorstep of the school you would have been charged anyway.
Teachers and TAs shouldn’t have to wait around.

You’re trying to lay the blame here with the wrong people, who took care of your daughter when your sister messed up. Schools don’t monitor every pick up of every child. They assume the parent has arranged pick up, so this could have ended badly had someone not noticed she was still waiting outside the school to be picked up, or if your daughter didn’t stick around and let the school know, and had walked off. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with the sister doing pick ups going forward though.

You’d think so and that’s exactly how it should be but we often had children turn up for breakfast club that weren’t booked in. We raised it with the office staff so many times with no resolve.
I don’t know how this child ended up at ASC. The school might have just told them to take them in until someone arrived. Who knows?
Just to add, our breakfast club and ASC were in a separate building on the school site and mainly run by TA’s. We often had ‘add ons’. Bloody frustrating when we were already fully booked and short of space etc.

Check their policy.

my school don’t call, unless there is a particular reason, child goes to AC and school will call if they’re not picked up with it ends.

sounds like your sister f’ed up and you’re angry with the wrong people. How much time
do you think teachers have to follow up on your mistakes?!

Most schools wouldn't allow a Year 3 child to leave school premises without an adult to collect. They would place the child in the After School Club, and call a parent if no one collected the child at the end of the session, and yes you would be charged. In the circumstances, be grateful that the school stepped in, and kept your daughter safe, rather than focusing on them not calling you. Check the policy with the school on the procedure if a child isn't collected. You should be giving your sister a rocket for forgetting to pick up your daughter in the first place. Your daughter must have been worried and unsettled when her Aunt, who I presume she knew was collecting her, didn't turn up.

I completely agree! Of course they shouldn't! So why would they not ring me??

in the ASC I used to work in if a child was known to do ASC sometimes we would assume parents had forgotten to book them on and so if we had space take them into ASC and only if it got later phone home. 9 times out of 10 it is the case they forgot to book!

if they don’t normally do ASC they would sit with us for about 20 mins to allow for traffic delays and then a call to see if everything was ok.

No matter how reliable they are, I would still check on the day.

Your sister let you down . School looked after your child. I'd just say thanks and move on.

I wouldn’t complain about the school, but I would politely ask them to make a note in their system to call your/DH if she’s not collected.

I think she should and my husband, who is fuming also thinks so, so does my mum who ended up having to get her from ASC and my other sibling that I moaned at to.
I have made her aware, in no uncertain terms, how angry my DH and I are and how hurt I feel at her lack of effort in general.
I just cba to recover costs from her though. Easier to pay it and move on.

They could’ve reported you to social services (excessive but they could’ve) for failing to collect your child. Perhaps they’d have called you if she hadn’t been collected at 5pm. Be grateful your child is safe and have more robust childcare.

School office worker here. Sometimes at the end of the day we are incredibly busy. We are checking the right children are in the right club, the children who haven't been collected are safe and we know who they are, whilst dealing with a queue of parents with queries, letting children back in and out the school who have forgotten water bottles, lunch boxes, clothes etc etc.
Our priority is always a child who isn't where we expect them to be.....usually a parent has collected and forgotten to let us know they aren't doing club - but their welfare comes first.

Only when we have dealt with those children would we start calls for children who haven't been collected.....normally most children are collected within 20 mins or they are regulars of asc and parents forgot to book them in. So sending them into ASC is usual. Especially if they are vulnerable or require supervision.

I had a parent complain on Friday morning of exactly the same thing - why didn't we call her before her late family member actually got to school. -- she didn't focus on the fact her child was safe. Or the fact that we have all the other things to deal with. Or the fact that we didn't charge her for ASC. Just why didn't we call. Maybe I all parents were on time we would get to phone calls more quickly. Please don't pass the blame to the office who do the best they can to safeguard kids.

I'm guessing this is a big city school?. They haven't got time to be calling every late parent. They put them in after school club until parent shows up. If they don't call or show up by the end, then they call and if no answer, they call social services.

Exactly! School office is EXTREMELY busy at closing time. They haven't got time to be calling late parents!

I have rarely been more surprised by a poll result than I am with this one.

A child who doesn't normally use ASC on that day of the week would absolutely warrant a phone call home. Talking to the child will ascertain they are expecting to be picked up as normal, and they will be worrying where their adult has gone.

If the parent on first call doesn't answer, they'd ring the second contact. This happened to us when I was stuck on the motorway with my phone in the boot. School rang after 15 mins or so, then rang my husband when I didn't answer, which enabled him to find someone to collect DC before the end of ASC (ish!). My husband had no way of knowing I'd got stuck - just as he'd have had no idea if I'd been hit by a bus.

It’s genuinely very interesting how stark opinions are on this. I work in a school and our policy is… children who have not been collected on time are taken to WAC. All these parents are charged. Our school has 2 session times for WAC and parents would be called at the END of the WAC session and safeguarding LADO policy followed if parents/guardians not answering or have not attended to collect. Many parents are late daily for various reasons - would be a huge job to call parents who are likely just running late or whatever else.

I have just text all my friends who work in schools across the UK and asked them as do think interested - and all have said they have same policy as my school and would ever immediately instruct staff to call parents etc. One friend who is older…said this used to be the policy decades ago with more staff available and when families took more responsibility and had a sense of shame etc…but modern times they know it’s better for the school to issue this policy to protect themselves and the kids or they would spend lots of pointless time calling parents (and still be given grief no doubt!).

The poll results on here reflects my and friends schools understanding and policies.

I honestly would be so embarrassed and full of shame about this… but almost admire the sheer audacity of some folk! I don’t think I would have the confidence to behave like this.

What makes you think that?it's a junior school (not a full primary, junior, which goes from Y3-Y6) in a medium sized town.
I think there's about 250 kids.

The school should really have called you when DD wasn’t collected. Though, if as a PP suggested, they just assumed you’d forgotten to book ASC I can see why they didn’t.

I think you just need to find out what actually happened and what the school policy is. There’s nothing wrong with you asking the school why they didn’t call you.

All the schools I know would transfer the dc to after school club & charge but they would ring first.