Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

i would have expected a call definitely, surprised they didn’t do that. I don’t think you can complain though 🤣

You want to complain about them ensuring your daughter was cared for after your flakey sister forgot to get her?
If she’d been left and walked home alone obviously but she was safe, you should be thanking them and be grateful.
What if there was no ASC, that would have meant staff would have had to care for your child in their own time.
Its on you/your sister that she wasn’t collected, they put your child in ASC as it was the easiest thing to do, why should they have to faff around finding your number and ringing you?

Exactly this

Complaining about having to pay for ASC is out of order.
Look at it like spending from an unauthorized overdraft!
Your daughter doesn’t have a space at ASC, she’s not booked in but they made space for her, end of.

Check the policy first before raising your concerns op, also you were really lucky there was even room in after school, definitely wouldn't be the case at ours. Certainly wouldn't be trusting the sister again, does she have her own kids?

Wow you’re gonna complain that school took care of your child when she’s been forgotten , they probably have a policy where you’re called after soo many minutes of not being collected . I’d be taking flowers in not making a complaint and I’d be reminding your sister in future

I find it incredibly strange that the school made no attempt to contact you. When I taught in a school, if a child hadn’t been collected I and colleagues went to the office to ring any numbers we had. The child either stayed with me or their own teacher if they were not in my class, or with the office staff if it was a staff meeting night, until collected.
I think you are quite right to question their lack of contact, but I hope their explanation clears matters.
Just want to add, though, do they have up to date contact information? There were occasions when we had numbers that were no longer current and parents had forgotten to update us - that could cause problems.

DS’ Primary would have sent the child to the afterschool club if not collected by the cut off time.

I'd expect your sister to pay for the ASC plus a big apology to your daughter as auntie let her down.

You are very quick to blame everyone but yourself...Why don't you adjust your working hours to suit your child, or arrange proper child care. I don't get it, blaming everyone else for your failures...

Urgh, nasty comment, @hcee19 . Stop it.

1 think you need to give your sister a good tongue lashing. Too distracted by her boyfriend?

I'd take this up with your obviously flaky sister NOT the school! They did the right thing in my opinion! And seek more reliable child care in future!

That.

I would really really not say anything than thank you…actually have a go at your sister whom left her niece of 7 to possibly fend for herself (if school didn’t do its job) and not ask her again.

please do not imply in any way that the school did something wrong.

Christ, how ungrateful and vvv unreasonable of you! Blame your sister (and maybe yourself for not reminding her) and leave the school alone!

Recently retired school administrator here. The school should have contacted you within 15 minutes of her not being collected if you had not booked a place in after school club - whatever your usual arrangements are!! Then they could offer to put her in ASC or for you collect asap. My school would never just put a child in ASC without making every effort to get a hold of a parent or carer first. If no contact was made, a message would be left and an email sent saying child was not collected and is being put in ASC and for them to contact school asap as there will be a charge levied. You have every right to be concerned that the school did not let you know she had not been collected, whilst having every reason to be relieved she was being well looked after.

Yes they should charge you, full whack for not having booked.
Yes they should have phoned emergency contacts, I can see why they might not but tbh I think that's a risky policy on their part. E.g if my DH failed to pick up child, I'm an hour away from getting the phone call at least, even if I drop everything and run. But maybe they are ok with that, who knows..

Childcare gives me nightmares, wish I could afford to stay home more..

Going against the grain here.

I work in a primary school office and yes this is poor.

They had àn uncollected child who wasn’t booked into ASC and instead of calling to find out what is going on they just took them to ASC and assumed everything would be ok.

An uncollected child with no communication is a potential safeguarding issue. They absolutely should have called you.

Of course they are going to keep your child safe and sending to ASC is fine. But they also should have absolutely been trying to contact parents to check everything is ok and find out where you are.

There are ratios in after school clubs.

I would expect to be rung by the school. It would be ok for the child to go to after school club, but I would need to be rung after school, not after the club!

What if the op hadn't realised her sister had forgot abs just assumed her daughter been collected - then the daughter could have been left at ASC and not collected?
What if a parent is involved in a serious accident and can't make it to collect them or call anyone and no call is made to the other parent/emergency contact?
What if a mother is so drunk/out of it they forget to collect their child but no one alerts the child's father who is able to come and is reliable? Obviously big issue with mother there but in the child's interest to be collected by the other parent.

I think it's in the school's and child's interests to call.

So there are probably several children collected late. After a set time they would be put safely into after school club. The staff will then check that they hadn’t had a message from the parent to say that they were running late. Then they would start calling contacts in order of priority (eg mum, dad, grandparent, aunt, childminder etc) often leaving a message.
At the same time there are calls coming in to say that Freddie will be collected by uncle instead of mum, has Mary left her lunchbox in her classroom?, is it really non-uniform day tomorrow?

You wouldn’t believe how manic the office is between 3:20 & 5:00 each day. There are also some very rude parents who get very upset about being called because they haven’t collected their children because they “told someone last week on the gate” that they would be late today but couldn’t be arsed to book the after school club. The favourite was parents turning up just as the children were put into after school club because it’s easier to park outside the school that little bit later but of course they refuse to pay.

These things happen, just enjoy the fact that it all turned out well.

You would have got a phone call when noone collected her from ASC.
I think that school offices are busy and calling a parent is something they do as soon as they can get someone to. She was safe, and the club wasnt finished. You would have been charged for it by that point anyway.

Honestly, OP, this one’s on you for not confirming with your sister before pickup. It does come across as quite entitled to complain to the school when they were simply looking after your child. They may have a set time at which they call if a child hasn’t been collected, but in the moment they were likely just focused on keeping her safe - and 40 minutes can go by surprisingly quickly when you’re trying to manage lots of children, I’m sure! That said, it could still be worth checking what their policy is, just not in the form of a complaint, as that would be shifting the blame.

Love the contrary contingent out to make you understand that of course school wouldn't normally call about this .

Of course YANBU to want to raise it with them.