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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Noone picked up my daughter and school didn't ring.

582 replies

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 08:23

On Thursday my daughter was supposed to be picked up by my sister as my husband and I were both working. She finishes school at 3:20pm, she's 7 and is in year 3.

At 4pm I was on my break at work and called sister to ask how DD is.

Sister bloody FOROGT to pick her up and wasn't even in our home town. She was about an hour's drive away at her new boyfriends house.

In a panic I hung up on spluttering apologising sister and immediately rang school to find out what happened to DD. They just casually said "yeah, we've got her, she's in after school club"

At the time I was too busy arranging for someone else to pick up her with only 10 minutes left of my break and relieved she was safe to think much more on the fact that the scholl hadnt informed me so I just said thank you to the school and said someone would be there soon.

Would you complain to the school or at least mention it that noone rang me or DH to say she hadn't been picked up? If I hadn't rung sister I wouldn't have known, and what would have happened when noone arrived at 5pm when it closes?

They also charged me and I could have avoided this charge or at least got a lower charge if I'd got her picked up by 4pm.

OP posts:
SeriousTissues · 04/10/2025 18:55

limescale · 04/10/2025 11:11

'Farm-based delays" 😂🚜🐮

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Getting stuck behind tractors/cattle!! It happens!!

Original poster
Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 18:57

CatamaranViper · 04/10/2025 17:25

School Business Manager and Designated Safeguarding Lead. A huge part of my job is calling parents for a huge variety of stuff.

Child not turned up? Call parents
Odd looking bruise on child? Call parent
Child says uncle Barry gave them a special hug? Call parents
No swimming kit? Call parents
Child feeling poorly? Call parents
Dinner money in arrears? Call parents
Refusing medication? Call parents
Child suspense? Call parent

99% of the time, it's an innocent mistake. Mam thought dad had reported child absent, the bruise was from a swing, uncle Barry did a spinny hug which child called special, dad thought mam had topped up dinner money, swimming kit hung on wrong peg, etc etc etc

So not, not my only job, but a huge amount of my time is spend on the phone to parents yes.

You know, along side paying all the bill, monitoring budgets, arrange trips, dealing with HR queries, making referrals, CTF requests, writing forecasts, job descriptions, policies etc etc etc.... but the number 1 priority every time is the child

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Yep, "Harry" that comes into child's bed every night and gets on top of her and she doesn't like it turns out to be the name of the cat 🤦‍♀️

(I once worked in a nursery)

OP posts:
EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 04/10/2025 19:00

Reallynotsure25 · 04/10/2025 08:47

Yes, the school should have left her on her own outside the school gates until, you, your sister or your husband remembered to pick her up. How dare the After school club charge you for looking after your child? What is the world coming to? In case you hadn’t realised. YABVVVVU. Also pretty sure the club would have rung you if you hadn’t collected her by closing time and after that they then phone the police. Just for future reference.

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To be fair, for many people a surprise extra cost like that could cause financial difficulties.

wotsitallfor · 04/10/2025 19:02

I was late to get DC once stuck in traffic and was in a right stress and the teacher said we’ll always look after her and keep her safe and that’s always been my priority.

I do think they should have called but to complain about the charge is ridiculous.

Original poster
Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 19:03

It's a good thing everything in this thread is true and I haven't gone off on one on sister too much (because I love her dearly but I'm fucking pissed off with her right now!!)

Because for some reason I've been picked for a Facebook post and another family member has seen it and asked if its me loool!

OP posts:
Sunnydays60 · 04/10/2025 19:18

Honestly quite shocked at the amount of people who think it is unreasonable to expect a school to contact parents that were expected to be picking up.

NorthernMum2021 · 04/10/2025 19:19

Teacher here. It could be the case that your DD told the teacher that she was meant to be in after school club so wires got crossed and it was an honest mistake. I kind of agree that, rather than complain to the school, you should be grateful that they provided quality care for your daughter. There might have been another emergency to deal with and they were going to call you in a bit.

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:47

You were lucky they kept her as they should have phoned SS.

You failed to ensure your child was collected, so there lies the issue you neglected your child and feel guilty so are blaming the school.
Sort out proper childcare for your children.

Woompund · 04/10/2025 19:49

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:47

You were lucky they kept her as they should have phoned SS.

You failed to ensure your child was collected, so there lies the issue you neglected your child and feel guilty so are blaming the school.
Sort out proper childcare for your children.

FGS can this response just die? They won't phone social services before phoning the parents for the love of god

Sirzy · 04/10/2025 19:56

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:47

You were lucky they kept her as they should have phoned SS.

You failed to ensure your child was collected, so there lies the issue you neglected your child and feel guilty so are blaming the school.
Sort out proper childcare for your children.

Schools have much bigger issues they are trying to get SS help with than a mix up over pick ups!

OldBeyondMyYears · 04/10/2025 20:39

KnickerlessFlannel · 04/10/2025 08:24

What's their uncollected child policy? They may have a set time at which they start calling eg 45 mjns/an hour late, especially if your child sometimes uses after school club.

We have this. Uncollected children are taken to after school club. We ring if they are not collected by 4:00 (45 minutes after we finish). Parents are billed £5 per 15 minutes. Not many are late after the first time they get billed.

OldBeyondMyYears · 04/10/2025 20:40

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:47

You were lucky they kept her as they should have phoned SS.

You failed to ensure your child was collected, so there lies the issue you neglected your child and feel guilty so are blaming the school.
Sort out proper childcare for your children.

Don’t be ridiculous! 🤣🥴

Bellyblueboy · 04/10/2025 20:56

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 19:47

You were lucky they kept her as they should have phoned SS.

You failed to ensure your child was collected, so there lies the issue you neglected your child and feel guilty so are blaming the school.
Sort out proper childcare for your children.

You clearly have no idea what horrors social services have to deal with if you are suggesting SS involvement over a school pick up mix up.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/10/2025 21:10

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 04/10/2025 19:03

It's a good thing everything in this thread is true and I haven't gone off on one on sister too much (because I love her dearly but I'm fucking pissed off with her right now!!)

Because for some reason I've been picked for a Facebook post and another family member has seen it and asked if its me loool!

Well maybe this will shame your sister into not forgetting next time

that’s if you trust her a next time

as I said previously - remind her in the morning that She is picking up

Namechange2700000 · 04/10/2025 21:37

Linenpickle · 04/10/2025 08:25

You want to complain to the school for looking after your child as she was forgotten by her own family…. Really??

Couldn’t have put it better myself!

Jesus.

thismummyslife · 04/10/2025 21:38

Differentforgirls · 04/10/2025 14:55

Surely the onus is on the parent to ring the school if they can't pick their child up?

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I get what you’re saying but it’s for circumstance such as this.

Delatron · 04/10/2025 22:14

Newnamesameme · 04/10/2025 16:16

Would you at least be arsed to read the op's posts?

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I have. Doesn’t change my opinion. She needs better childcare arrangements. Imagine being cross that you are charged for childcare when someone steps in at the last minute.

Such entitlement…

Milosc · 04/10/2025 22:24

OP you are acting like they left your child outside alone in the freezing cold. No one showed up so they put her in after school club. As she does go to that club they probably thought you forgot to book and pay. They did nothing wrong. Your child was safe and being cared for. You are blaming the school for the errors of your family. That is very unfair. How were they to know she was forgotten? You should have let her teacher know that you were not picking her up and your sister was. The fault is yours you did not give them a heads up.

Acg1991 · 04/10/2025 23:33

Came here from the Facebook post 😂
Cba to read it all, but from what I've seen, no one has asked what your daughter said.
At my kid's school, I'm pretty sure the first thing they would do is ask the child who was supposed to be picking them up. Just wondering if they asked your daughter and she said she was supposed to be at after school club and school just presumed you forgot to book so didn't think it was as important to ring you ASAP.
I'd still definitely mention it to school that you would appreciate a call if it ever happens in future though, but not as a complaint. Maybe send an email apologising for the late pick up and add in that if it happens in future, if they contact whoever you will be able to arrange for her to be picked up ASAP.

AA23 · 04/10/2025 23:49

Your sister is the one you should be annoyed with. The school did the right thing - keeping her safe. It was 30 mins. School probably thought you were in traffic. If it was 430/5pm - different story. Get off your soap box - pay the fee and say thank you.

Plumnora · 05/10/2025 00:02

I'm confused that people are saying it's fine school didn't contact you! She wasn't booked in for after school club and nobody turned up to collect her. Yes, she was safe but surely school has a responsibility to check someone is coming for her and you're aware of the situation? Yes, you could have been stuck in traffic or at an appointment but I'm still surprised nobody checked... seems I'm in the minority though!

CinnamonBuns67 · 05/10/2025 00:10

I wouldn't complain but I do think they should have rang you when she wasn't down for being in afterschool club so I'd definitely question why this didn't happen and ask that in future you are rang and then say thank you for them being understanding.

Nearly50omg · 05/10/2025 02:06

You are taking the piss!!!! Seriously!! YOU are the only one that is unreasonable and w have reminded your sister the day she was meant to collect your child what time she needed collecting so this don’t happen. And as for the charge thing😳😳😳🙄🙄🙄

Pryceosh1987 · 05/10/2025 02:11

I think your sister should of said something. If she was supposed to pick up the daughter, but after school club is awesome. I loved it as a kid, and my mother let me go to it with my brother and friends.

CathyFitzs · 05/10/2025 08:05

Unbelievable!!! Go to school and pretend to be grateful as you’re obviously incapable of taking genuine responsibility. Or if you do complain you’ll at least give school something to have a laugh about privately

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