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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No TV before school?!

418 replies

Tireddadplus · 03/10/2025 08:41

Hi! Just got a message from our DD’s (5yo) school that we should not let the kids watch any tv before school! Bad for their brains or something…

DD watches a bit of tv while myself or DW sort out lunches or whatever…just makes getting out the door easier!

Am i being unreasonable to ignore this advice?

OP posts:
warmapplepies · 06/10/2025 07:29

Jade3450 · 05/10/2025 22:41

My autistic DD needed screen time to regulate her before school. She had a set routine and had to watch 30 minutes between breakfast and leaving for school or she would have a meltdown.

As the parent of an autistic child this makes me so sad.

You do realise that at some point you introduced this to her? And no, she didn’t ’need’ it.

As the parent of an autistic child, you should know better than to judge others on their choices.

SisterMargaretta · 06/10/2025 07:42

Jade3450 · 05/10/2025 22:41

My autistic DD needed screen time to regulate her before school. She had a set routine and had to watch 30 minutes between breakfast and leaving for school or she would have a meltdown.

As the parent of an autistic child this makes me so sad.

You do realise that at some point you introduced this to her? And no, she didn’t ’need’ it.

Well I can assure you she did need it. She gets very anxious about school and tv helps regulate her. I am the same. She is doing very well academically.

I'll do what works for my family and you do what works for you.

BoredZelda · 06/10/2025 08:13

curious79 · 03/10/2025 11:40

Yes you're being unreasonable (and stupid).

Why not give them a book, a task - anything but sticking them in front of a screen!!!

If I give my child a book before school, I’d never get her out of the door.

BoredZelda · 06/10/2025 08:15

Timeforabitofpeace · 05/10/2025 12:25

@warmapplepies I disagree. They may not read the research papers but many people do heed school opinion about learning. I wonder why?!

Schools all believed the “Brain Training” was beneficial and invested heavily in it, until the research said it was a load of bunkum.

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 09:15

@BoredZelda Sit your kids in front of the telly as much as you want. It doesn’t affect me. I wouldn’t risk it myself.

C8H10N4O2 · 06/10/2025 09:39

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 09:15

@BoredZelda Sit your kids in front of the telly as much as you want. It doesn’t affect me. I wouldn’t risk it myself.

What is the risk you are running then?

I’ve read through the only research link provided on this thread and there is nothing wrong with it as a piece of research but it does not demonstrate “tv is bad for your children in the morning” - quite the contrary as the authors themselves point out.

Over the years I’ve seen a lot of poorly researched “facts” become unquestioned facts as they filter through to schools, often with the aid of someone making money at the other end (such as some well known reading schemes, behaviour policy schemes, maths schemes, sex education schemes) and this has become much worse over the past 20 years as every school functions under budget, under time and with one eye over the shoulder to social media attacks.

The evidence that “tv before school” is bad for all children or even most children has not yet been posted to this thread and most of what I’ve found talks about “excessive tv overall” and in homes where parent child communication is already poor or where children have pre-existing language and learning issues.

TV before school was never my thing because (selfishly) I can’t stand it first thing in the morning. If I (selfishly) had found it useful I would have used it, since there was no evidence that it was more harmful than other activities before school.

I could of course have told them to play with their “thoughtful and beautifully hand carved model animals and cars” as recommended by MN but my plebian DC preferred plastic tat in the toy cupboard.

As per pp - if I’d told them to read I’d never have dragged them out of the door.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 06/10/2025 09:40

Jade3450 · 05/10/2025 22:41

My autistic DD needed screen time to regulate her before school. She had a set routine and had to watch 30 minutes between breakfast and leaving for school or she would have a meltdown.

As the parent of an autistic child this makes me so sad.

You do realise that at some point you introduced this to her? And no, she didn’t ’need’ it.

Your response makes me sad.

warmapplepies · 06/10/2025 09:56

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 09:15

@BoredZelda Sit your kids in front of the telly as much as you want. It doesn’t affect me. I wouldn’t risk it myself.

You make it sound like she’s giving them crack cocaine with their breakfast.

Letting your kids watch some cartoons before school is hardly a risky behaviour 🤣

BoredZelda · 06/10/2025 10:27

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 09:15

@BoredZelda Sit your kids in front of the telly as much as you want. It doesn’t affect me. I wouldn’t risk it myself.

I make my choices based on my own research, not what some external group has done to try and sell something to the Education department / school.

Have you done your research about what the risk is?

BoredZelda · 06/10/2025 11:00

C8H10N4O2 · 06/10/2025 09:39

What is the risk you are running then?

I’ve read through the only research link provided on this thread and there is nothing wrong with it as a piece of research but it does not demonstrate “tv is bad for your children in the morning” - quite the contrary as the authors themselves point out.

Over the years I’ve seen a lot of poorly researched “facts” become unquestioned facts as they filter through to schools, often with the aid of someone making money at the other end (such as some well known reading schemes, behaviour policy schemes, maths schemes, sex education schemes) and this has become much worse over the past 20 years as every school functions under budget, under time and with one eye over the shoulder to social media attacks.

The evidence that “tv before school” is bad for all children or even most children has not yet been posted to this thread and most of what I’ve found talks about “excessive tv overall” and in homes where parent child communication is already poor or where children have pre-existing language and learning issues.

TV before school was never my thing because (selfishly) I can’t stand it first thing in the morning. If I (selfishly) had found it useful I would have used it, since there was no evidence that it was more harmful than other activities before school.

I could of course have told them to play with their “thoughtful and beautifully hand carved model animals and cars” as recommended by MN but my plebian DC preferred plastic tat in the toy cupboard.

As per pp - if I’d told them to read I’d never have dragged them out of the door.

This is the important thing with research. Correlation and Causation need to be considered. Of course if you survey children and say “do you watch TV before school in the morning” and the kids who say yes are part of a group who are less focussed, perhaps with communication issues, probably struggling in class generally. You could jump to “tv in the morning is bad for kids” or you could look at everything else in that family. Did the child have breakfast, are the family engaged in education, are they communicating well with their child generally. Unless you adjust for those factors, you can’t say TV in the morning is bad. I would put money on, the people here saying they get their kids up, have breakfast with them and help them get ready then give them half an hour in front of the TV before they leave so they themselves can get ready are not the kids who are affected.

A great example of schools putting policies in place which are not based on evidence but they carry on anyway is phones in schools. Evidence is mixed but all the research says that it only works as part of a wider initiative to reduce the amount of time kids are on phones. It isn’t even clear that it’s the screen that’s the problem, but more a lack of engagement with homework, not getting enough sleep, using their downtime for “empty brain” rather than doing something to improve cognitive skills. Unfortunately, schools think they’ve put a ban in place so job done. The “no TV in the morning” answer means the school offload their responsibilities. They target the nice middle class parents to do something, instead of finding a way to reach disengaged families to improve the overall attainment of their children. All the while the attainment gap increases.

If schools got it right all the time, we wouldn’t have the problems in them that we do.

C8H10N4O2 · 06/10/2025 12:02

@BoredZelda When I rule the world, a solid grounding in statistics and contextual data analysis will be compulsory education (along with assertiveness training for girls).

Making up misleading titles for research papers then declaring those titles to be a factual representation of the work will either reading comprehension lessons or detention for dishonesty.

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 12:37

What cobblers, @BoredZelda . I’m sure you’re a researcher! Not.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 06/10/2025 12:45

See I have never allowed TV before school because I would never get them out of the door. I guess every family is different but it would 100% make my day harder. They also have to get dressed before they come downstairs for the same reason.

C8H10N4O2 · 06/10/2025 14:19

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 12:37

What cobblers, @BoredZelda . I’m sure you’re a researcher! Not.

Which point in @BoredZelda ’s post are you saying is “cobblers”?

Or are you just casting personal slurs because you don’t have a valid rebuttal to any of the points?

GagMeWithASpoon · 06/10/2025 17:41

Timeforabitofpeace · 06/10/2025 09:15

@BoredZelda Sit your kids in front of the telly as much as you want. It doesn’t affect me. I wouldn’t risk it myself.

Risk what exactly?

DiscoBeat · 06/10/2025 18:04

Not for the school to dictate! We found it really helpful on getting them motivated to get ready/breakfast/teeth as they could watch a favourite programme if they were ready in time.

Jade3450 · 07/10/2025 12:30

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 06/10/2025 09:40

Your response makes me sad.

Why?

The parent says the child has ‘a meltdown’ if she isn’t allowed to watch tv, but it’s the parent who introduced this routine. Now the child has adapted to it and has a ‘meltdown’ if it’s withdrawn.

The meltdown was avoidable.

And since when did screens help autistic children to self-regulate?

It’s so backward.

Jade3450 · 07/10/2025 12:34

SisterMargaretta · 06/10/2025 07:42

Well I can assure you she did need it. She gets very anxious about school and tv helps regulate her. I am the same. She is doing very well academically.

I'll do what works for my family and you do what works for you.

Wouldnt a better way forward be helping her understand how to regulate her emotions herself and find coping mechanisms for when she feels anxious or overwhelmed?

Using a tv to do this will not help her manage in the long term.

Needmorelego · 07/10/2025 12:39

@Jade3450 it might not be "screens" that stop a meltdown but watching a specific programme.
If ten minutes of watching a quality made children's programme is part of a routine they enjoy then suddenly being told they can't (for no obvious to them reason) then they will become upset.
Yes at some point the parent will have introduced their child to that programme but so what?
Adults watch TV. Why shouldn't children? (as long as it's an appropriate programme)

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 07/10/2025 20:48

Jade3450 · 07/10/2025 12:30

Why?

The parent says the child has ‘a meltdown’ if she isn’t allowed to watch tv, but it’s the parent who introduced this routine. Now the child has adapted to it and has a ‘meltdown’ if it’s withdrawn.

The meltdown was avoidable.

And since when did screens help autistic children to self-regulate?

It’s so backward.

Edited

Why do I feel sad? Because you’re not being very understanding.

because many autistic people like to have a routine and if their routine is disrupted then they can become deregulated. She doesn’t say her daughter gets distressed due to not being allowed TV. She said it’s if she can’t watch it as part of this routine.

this is how she regulates. I regulate sometimes by scrolling, watching tv/films (escaping) and even - shock horror - wine!! Some people can regulate using other methods, but screens are common for ND people. I’m not speaking for all.

surely watching a bit of TV as part of the routine that helps her cope with school, is better than her becoming highly distressed and causing harm or trauma and then school avoidance??

everyone is different and this family have a way to manage life.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 07/10/2025 20:49

Jade3450 · 07/10/2025 12:34

Wouldnt a better way forward be helping her understand how to regulate her emotions herself and find coping mechanisms for when she feels anxious or overwhelmed?

Using a tv to do this will not help her manage in the long term.

She has found a way!! And very normal and modern way.

warmapplepies · 07/10/2025 21:24

Jade3450 · 07/10/2025 12:30

Why?

The parent says the child has ‘a meltdown’ if she isn’t allowed to watch tv, but it’s the parent who introduced this routine. Now the child has adapted to it and has a ‘meltdown’ if it’s withdrawn.

The meltdown was avoidable.

And since when did screens help autistic children to self-regulate?

It’s so backward.

Edited

Actually, there’s a fair bit of research that shows screens can be very helpful for people who are neurodiverse.

Maybe you should do some reading on the subject before jumping in to criticise.

Jade3450 · 08/10/2025 12:24

warmapplepies · 07/10/2025 21:24

Actually, there’s a fair bit of research that shows screens can be very helpful for people who are neurodiverse.

Maybe you should do some reading on the subject before jumping in to criticise.

I’d love to see that.

Lots of things might feel ‘helpful’ in quietening down an agitated kid. That isn’t the same as them being useful in the long term.

I won’t derail the thread any more, but just to say: autism is a lifelong condition. Teaching emotional regulation is far more beneficial in the long term than dampening the temporary dysregulation with screens.

Poppingby · 08/10/2025 16:30

How do you 'teach' emotional regulation? Rather than allowing someone to find techniques for same? Genuine question.

Jade3450 · 08/10/2025 16:40

Poppingby · 08/10/2025 16:30

How do you 'teach' emotional regulation? Rather than allowing someone to find techniques for same? Genuine question.

Well, there’s long-term stuff, like diet, sleep, exercise (and limited screens!) but also short-term methods.

These have to be age appropriate obvs, but eg

  • Naming the emotion ‘I feel anxious’
  • Noticing body reactions ‘my jaw is clenched’
  • Breath techniques eg slowing breath
  • Understanding triggers and naming what’s happening
  • ‘Riding’ the emotion and allowing it rather than suppressing it
  • Regulating with someone else through body contact or talking through
  • CBT techniques like reframing the thought ‘is this actually true’

All tried and tested ways, and surprisingly suitable for smaller children. Can be used if the child is autistic or not.

Lifelong skills, unlike sticking them in front of the TV.