School vetoed chats about crushes!

[Franny1]

Interested to know what people think about this… my DD’s year group (year 3) have been told they are no longer allowed to talk about who they have crushes on etc. DD said the teacher said something about secrets so I’m guessing someone has got upset after someone else told their secret and there’s been some teasing or embarrassment or something.
I totally get that this sort of thing can lead to people getting upset. And I also don’t care much for the silly crushes chat myself! But I feel really strongly that they can’t tell kids what they can or can’t talk about in their own private conversations, and that this is a terrible precedent/lesson to teach young people about free speech! Is my DD really supposed to stop herself if she’s just chatting quietly to a friend in the playground because the subject matter has been vetoed?? And surely in any case they need to teach them HOW to handle these types of conversations without upsetting people, ie the importance of not betraying confidences, not embarrassing people or teasing, and so on…

Thoughts?

Who have you heard this from? Your daughter? Are you sure she has definitely been told 'they aren't allowed to talk about it'?

Or do you think (more likely) that the teacher has given advice about appropriate conversations and the importance of respecting peoples trust and privacy?

I agree and sexualised content is also very obviously a safeguarding issue. You really don’t know how far other kids have taken these discussions OP! Many children have older siblings… you should probably be thanking the school for intervening. As a teacher, we don’t intervene like this for the sake of it if there’s no issues.

I'd this online or in person? Particularly odd if its a ban on ordinary conversation..?!

I think this post is really telling in that it outlines several important points and a couple of worrying matters a our our present day society.

First of all some young children do have crushes on other young class mates. Especially, if they do not have a sibling of the opposite sex. It is completely normal and is part of growing up.

I remember being about 7, and being "in love" with two Welsh twin boys who had recently joined our school.

I used to stare lovingly at them in the school playground at break times. All very innocent. But never spoke to them.

A couple of my girl friends liked them as well.

Nowadays the Woke Brigade would be in like a shot with some mumbo jumbo, half arsed reasons not to have crushes.

Also children don't seem to have much privacy. Someone stepping in and monitoring them and interfering over the slightest thing.

Please let them have their lives and own decisions so they can grow up to be happy, healthy adults

Nowadays the Woke Brigade...

Silly talk.

Also, do you think staring lovingly and not speaking to them is what would've gotten teachers and the school involved in this case? How is that the equivalent? Don't you think it must have been more active and OTT behaviour that was disrupting the classes and creating safeguarding issues or causing massive upset all over that got to the attention of the teachers?

Then if we're talking about "woke brigade", I assume from your post you're referring to being 'progressive' or modern as "woke". In that sense, I'd say you're actually the "woke brigade" since allowing kids to get out of control because of school crushes, like you seem to be championing, is a modern thing. It was never so back in the days of 'children are to be seen not heard'. This rule would have been there from the beginning and lashes of cane would have been melted to the 'offenders'.

So it's "woke" (according to you) to expect the opposite of allowing children privacy and their own decisions, and not punishing them into respecting rules and others. Very progressive. Very modern.

Last paragraph, I meant to write

"...to expect the opposite where you're allowing children privacy..."

For them to feel the need to address this then it must have gone too far. Trust their judgement I would say.