To work Xmas day...

[Emsy9898]

So for a bit of context, I work in a care home so open 24/7. I've been at my company for 4 years now. The first year, I worked Xmas eve, boxing day. The second year I worked Xmas day half shift and both new years. The third year I was on maternity leave. So this year, they re expecting me to work it. I've said no, as my baby will be 19 months and im not missing that time with her. My mum's birthday is in Xmas day and we haven't been there for her birthday in 3 years and so we've booked a non refundable hotel to stay with her (3 hours away). I get them kicking off as it's not "equal" as such. But there are others that also refuse to work all Christmases due to children, so why do I?!

No one should be able to refuse a shift just because they have DC, including you. If they are letting others refuse for that reason just not you and you are 100% certain of this then I suppose stick to your guns and see where it leads you but you work in a 365 day type job so you have to expect to work Christmas at some point or find somewhere else to work.

Thanks, I totally get what you mean. I'm only sticking to my guns because certain staff have never worked Xmas and that's not fair! I'll more then happily work it next year if I don't this year haha

I don’t think people should be able to say no because they have children but the fact others haven’t works a Xmas day before would be an issue for me.

I would be bringing this fact up and reminding them of what shifts I have put in over Xmas in previous years.

You have only worked half of the day in the 4 years you've been there. Unfortunately I don't think you just get to unilaterally decide you won't work it, you could in theory use your mum or daughter as an excuse every year.

If you are scheduled to work it then you can't just say you won't.

Your kid will be 19 months id work this one have next one of when hes a bit older and understands

Thanks for your take, technically I'm not scheduled to work it as it doesn't fall on my rota days, but they tend to swap people around over Christmas to make it work

So far you've worked a half Christmas day over the past 3 years , so on balance , has everyone else done less than that ? Unless that's the case it seems this year is probably one you should work . Honestly I would work this one and have next year off when your daughter actually understands Christmas. In any company I've had dealing with I wouldn't book a holiday away unless I had already booked the time off work , because you run the risk of them insisting you work .
Also just read your update about not being one of your rota days . Does your contract specifically say you only work those days or that you have a set number of days/hours etc over the week that can be changed?

I would go with the fact that some others have never worked it and you have.

Then you could bring in the fact you also have a child if it’s brought up that these other people do.

It does sound like a management issue though, in that they’ve never properly got a handle on making everyone do their share.

Surely then if it's not you on the rota and you've said no they can't make you work it? I would however agree with others that I think come next year you'll regret making a fuss this year as your child will fully understand next year but have very little clue this year.

Thanks all for your messages. So I'm already happy to work next year, and I'll do a 8-2 shift so I can have Xmas dinner with them haha!
Technically the contract does not state I have to work days that aren't my rota days, but it's always been a thing of trying to make it "fair" although 2 girls that work there have been there for 5+ years and never worked Christmas because of children so that's why I'm thinking it's totally unfair

I agree with this. I clearly remember my DD “getting” Christmas when she was 2.5 years.

You could do presents on Boxing Day, or your next day off work. I’m pretty sure your DD won’t notice you’re a day late. Your mum is old enough to understand there are difficulties that go with a Christmas Day birthday.

Avoid it this year and you’ll be sorry you have to work next year.

Everyone needs to take their fair share of shifts and Christmases off…whether or not you/they have kids is irrelevant here as everyone has their own set of loved ones

You’ve only worked half of Christmas Day once in four years - I think it’s absolutely fair that you do it this year.

If it isn't your Rota days definitely say you are sticking to the rota. What a total pain in the arse they seem to be. Everyone should have a turn of. Christmas day and if it falls. On a rota day then so be it.

I would say that as it's not one of my days to work my partner has arranged for us to go away so I wont be here.

If you don't work christmas day this year does that mean you can't do boxing day either?
I've worked 20 out of last 30xChristmas days - daughters birthday too - so kids do adjust to not being all together like the adverts. My 2 children now often work Xmas day themselves (nurses) so I think it shows that Christmas can be quite flexible - its the season not the specific hours if that makes sense. Totally different if you are saying others you work with have never had to work it- but are they working nights xmas eve 'boxing day etc?

Im in a position of doing rotas for Xmas and new year- can gaurantee that would absolutely piss people off if you stuck with this. Don't forget there's a good chance one-year you might on your regular rota end up working xmas eve,xmas day,boxing day, new years eve, new years day and day after. Would anyone want that?

YABVU to say you won’t work Christmas because you have small children.

Spending Christmas with your mum is a total red herring. You haven't spent Christmas with her down to personal reasons, not work.

As others have said, I would “get it over with” and work this year when your DC is so young, they won’t understand it as much and don’t know the difference between opening presents on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Once you have worked Christmas Day this year, you will have much more of a bargaining chip to have it off next year when your DC will be older and much more aware of the magic.

This year, my DP will be working 7am-7pm on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. He’s a police officer. Our children are 4 and 11. It’s shit but it’s just the way it goes.

I think you’re ridiculous for booking the hotel before having your hours confirmed.

yes they should be given out fairly so those that haven’t worked it for five years should take their turn, but also you working half a day in 4 years, I think you need to accept that you may need to work it.
Have you offered to work Boxing Day? Or are you saying you can do neither because you’ve booked to go away.
I also work in a job that is emergency services so have to work Christmas etc. I chose the job and therefore accept that it’s part of it, like it or not.

kids is not an excuse. People without kids also have family and commitments.

Ah, Christmas and Christmas Day obsession...

Whatever is right or wrong, what's important practically is only one thing, and that is how much and for how long you need this job. 😂

It’s your turn to work it. You’ve had more off than in.

Also if you’re 3 hours away does that also mean you’re refusing to work Xmas Eve or Boxing Day? Depending on the shifts you may not be able to travel there and back in time.

My Dh has had one Christmas Day off in 18 years of raising our children. We work round it. He took a job which is 24/7 and that's that.

Christmas is a season in this house and we celebrate flexibly. The DC have not missed out at all.