To work Xmas day...

[Emsy9898]

So for a bit of context, I work in a care home so open 24/7. I've been at my company for 4 years now. The first year, I worked Xmas eve, boxing day. The second year I worked Xmas day half shift and both new years. The third year I was on maternity leave. So this year, they re expecting me to work it. I've said no, as my baby will be 19 months and im not missing that time with her. My mum's birthday is in Xmas day and we haven't been there for her birthday in 3 years and so we've booked a non refundable hotel to stay with her (3 hours away). I get them kicking off as it's not "equal" as such. But there are others that also refuse to work all Christmases due to children, so why do I?!

I would email the person who does the rota

Please could you confirm why I have been rota'd to work Christmas day please. It is not my usual rota day. I am happy to take my turn but I did work Christmas day on 'year' and im aware some staff have not worked a Christmas day since I've been here.

I would email the person who does the rota

Please could you confirm why I have been rota'd to work Christmas day please. It is not my usual rota day. I am happy to take my turn but I did work Christmas day on 'year' and im aware some staff have not worked a Christmas day since I've been here.

That's a great response, thank you

If I were you, I’d volunteer to work this year when your child won’t recognise the date and then guarantee having it off next year when your child will have a much greater understanding of advent calendars and the count down and doing it on the ‘right’ day. At 19 months, you could do the whole thing a day early or a day late and your child would be none the wiser

I think youre being very unreasonable!

My DD is a carer, works 12 hour night shifts.

2022 she was day shift

2023, her first year on nights she worked night shift, Christmas Eve, Christmas night and boxing night (and has to sleep during the day so no time for family)

Last year she was to get it off and work new year, but someone refused to work, so she went in on Christmas Eve, and Christmas night, got boxing day off but also worked new year. Hogmanay and NYD (night)

This year she's rota for Christmas again, she's asked other if they'll swap, and they all say no because DD doesn't have children 🙄

But, Christmas day is when my son died, so it's an extremely difficult day for us, even more than every other day. . It would be "nice" if we could all spend time at his grave together as a family, never mind having a meal together!

So people that play the "I have children card" really annoy me, you chose to have a child, you chose your job. My DD didn't choose to lose her brother.

My DH has worked probably half of all our Christmas periods (I mean the whole Christmas period, not one day) since having children. He works in a 24/7 industry where nothing changes for Christmas Day or any day of the year. Its part of the job and he knew that the day he signed up. We adore Christmas so always make the most of it in the run up every year (whether he is working or not).

It’s your turn to work - you will be one of hundreds of thousands of people working as normal on Christmas Day in a vital industry that doesn’t change for Christmas. If anything, its a great year to work as your child won’t remember 19 months old and if your work tries to be fair, you might get their third or forth Christmas Day off (which i’d much rather have).

The only guarantee of having Xmas off is to go into an industry you know everything will be closed on Christmas day. Care/healthcare/emergency services etc are 24/7 and 365 days of the year so no guarantee of Xmas off.

You’re not being unreasonable for wanting not to work on a non-rota day, however you’re being very unreasonable for pulling the “I’ve got children” card.

That’s so terrible. She’s worked three in a row I think considering the circumstances (so sorry) she could refuse to work.

I would get my Christmas shift out of the way now while the baby is too young to realise.

I agree with pp - your baby won't "get" Christmas this year but next year she will!

Your work sound shit at organising it but if you’re rota’d on, you work.

The care of vulnerable people doesn’t stop because you want to spend the day with your mum and child. If you don’t want to work Christmas Day then get a job somewhere that doesn’t require it.

It’s fairly usual to adjust the rota for the holiday period to make sure everyone covers what needs to. It’s unreasonable to refuse to work a holiday because you have kids, and you’ve done one half day in the past four years. You’ve chosen not to see your mum, so that’s a red herring. I think you’re taking the piss, and your “haha” suggests you know you are too. As someone who ran a 24/7 service for many years, you’d not be popular.

Thank you, She won't refuse though, she loves her job, she'd just like her colleagues to consider her a bit more

I agree with you sticking to your guns on this one. As long as you do work next year on Christmas Day.

I wonder if those who never work Christmas are allowed to out of fear they would just resign and go to work elsewhere, even though that may not be said.

I agree with this... I've worked in hospitals for 20 odd years and it's never "normal" rota over Christmas and New years

I think everyone has to take a turn

It used to drive me mad when people would try and guilt trip child free into working it...I don't care if someone plans to sit and watch old episodes of coronation Street all day, its still their Christmas to do as they please and have off if its their turn to.

If I was doing the rota and no-one offered for Christmas shifts, I'd put everyone who didn't work last year into a hat and pick names out.

We have the same situation with DH. He offered to work patrol (not his usual assignment) so that the younger people could have it off with their families. When our kids were young wem just celebrated at whatever time we could be all together. It worked out fine and they seem no worse for the experience! Only good thing about working on christmas is the rate of pay is very high.

Honestly at 19 months old, I’d work this one and ask them to put it in writing that as you’re working this one, you can have next year off. Next year will be much more precious when she understands what’s going on.

I think I’d be asking ‘please can you explain how Christmas is rotoed to make sure it is fair for all staff?

they really need a process to make sure it’s fair.

I have experience of working in a 24/7 365 service also and I appreciate the challenges of pleasing everyone.
You need to raise this with management, having children does not make you exempt from working Christmas Day.

We all work every other Xmas out of respect for our colleagues.

Id be fuming if somebody demanded it off after working half a shift in 4 years. It’s terrible behaviour and no better than those refusing to work.

Yeah that wouldn’t wash with us. Im an nhs nurse and the previous years rotas are considered. I have a child but he’s never been bothered if we do Christmas Day on the day or on Boxing Day instead.

i also think its pretty poor when people say they have kids. We have staff with infertility who would love kids so why should they be punished with working Christmas Day because they’re unable to have kids? It’s the sector we work in, its only fair to take turns regardless of who you’d be spending Christmas with

You've only worked one half shift on Xmas day in 4yrs. Suck it up this year with the provision you don't work it next. You can't argue you need to see your Mum as you've not bothered to for 3yrs so that's on you.

I am a nurse in a hospital, I have 2 dds aged 4 and 6. I haven't got my Christmas rota yet but I'm pretty sure I am going to have to work it this year as I haven't the last few years. It's 12.5 hour shifts so it does absolutely suck being away from your kids all day on xmas day, but this is the job we got in to and it comes with it unfortunately! If I am working we will be doing Xmas on a different day completely and DH will take kids to inlaws on 25th. When they're young you can get away with celebrating it on another day, I even plan on getting a letter sent from santa to say they will get thier presents early 🤣

If it's not on your rota and you don't care to be flexible, it's a non-conversation.
Remember, flexibility goes a long way so you may find they are equally inflexible when you need support.

I think it’s irrelevant that you have young children and it’s also irrelevant that you are spending Christmas with your mother or that you have booked a hotel. What’s relevant is that there are people in the team who have never done Christmas Day, but you have. That’s the argument I would use. No need to mention anything personal. When everybody else takes a turn, you’d be happy to work Christmas Day again.