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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to kill a colleague?

64 replies

Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 14:26

I was asked by a colleague,on Monday, for a time to have a call and quick discussion. I emailed my availability.

I got a reply on Tuesday, asking for a time I said I was on another call. I gave my availability for the whole week.

There is a time difference which sometimes causes von, so I was very clear that all times were his time.

Wednesday, I get "Now works for me, are you free?". No I was not, it was a time I had blocked out to be on another call. This happened twice.

This morning it happened again. Each time I replied specifying when I am free, when I am not free. Tomorrow I am generally free most of the day, just have calls 9-11 and 1-2. He has asked to be slotted in at 10. Fuck this man. It is melting my head.

OP posts:
travailtotravel · 02/10/2025 14:27

Send him.an invite? Why can't you see each other's calendars? Baffling.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 02/10/2025 14:28

I’d have stopped replying.

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:31

It's annoying because he is not taking the information you've presented to garner a response, subconsciously signifies hes lazy, annoying. Time for the

AS PER MY PREVIOUS EMAIL (you dimwit)

SprayWhiteDung · 02/10/2025 14:36

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:31

It's annoying because he is not taking the information you've presented to garner a response, subconsciously signifies hes lazy, annoying. Time for the

AS PER MY PREVIOUS EMAIL (you dimwit)

I wouldn't say that he's lazy so much as self-important and dismissive of OP's schedule and needs. If it's a good time for him, then that's assumed to be a good time for OP as well.

If he were just lazy or disorganised, he wouldn't actually get around to ever calling at all!

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:40

SprayWhiteDung · 02/10/2025 14:36

I wouldn't say that he's lazy so much as self-important and dismissive of OP's schedule and needs. If it's a good time for him, then that's assumed to be a good time for OP as well.

If he were just lazy or disorganised, he wouldn't actually get around to ever calling at all!

Show quote history

You're right, dismissive & self absorbed is a better way of phrasing.

Horrace · 02/10/2025 14:40

Kill him now

Darragon · 02/10/2025 14:44

Yeah I had to deal with a prat like this last week. I got so fed up. I’d spell it out in very small words and short sentences:
I gave you times when I am free. If you still wish to speak to me, please pick one and let me know. Otherwise send me an email and we can talk that way at times that suit us.

Then ignore any further suggestions for times you can’t do.

ThirdStorm · 02/10/2025 14:55

Oh this happened to me this week. Colleague asks for a call. A few of us are needed so I share my availability to be helpful even though you can see busy/free via outlook. He picks a time I'm not free. Then picks another so I say I am free if everybody else is. I swear at this point he's hoping I'll organise the call, I don't. Then he puts the call in for 30 minutes earlier than he said and is annoyed I'm late (I was away from my desk in another meeting but mindful of the planned call I had to be back in time for). Honestly, weaponised incompetence.

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:06

travailtotravel · 02/10/2025 14:27

Send him.an invite? Why can't you see each other's calendars? Baffling.

We are each writing a chapter for a book. We have only me at a meeting for all contributors to see were there may be overlap, to avoid repetition. He is not someone I wouldshare a calendar with. Besides, Every clearly stated all my availability for the week. He has all the information my diary would show.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:07

travailtotravel · 02/10/2025 14:27

Send him.an invite? Why can't you see each other's calendars? Baffling.

An invite for what? He has not given me his availability. We have not set up a meeting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:07

toomuchfaff · 02/10/2025 14:31

It's annoying because he is not taking the information you've presented to garner a response, subconsciously signifies hes lazy, annoying. Time for the

AS PER MY PREVIOUS EMAIL (you dimwit)

I really want to call him a dimwit!

OP posts:
FickleOcelot · 02/10/2025 15:08

Any chance he could have got your availability backwards?

I've experienced something similar before when i emailed saying I could do any times except x,y,z and they didn't read properly and promptly suggested y.

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:17

SprayWhiteDung · 02/10/2025 14:36

I wouldn't say that he's lazy so much as self-important and dismissive of OP's schedule and needs. If it's a good time for him, then that's assumed to be a good time for OP as well.

If he were just lazy or disorganised, he wouldn't actually get around to ever calling at all!

Show quote history

I think the dismissive thing is maybe what is most annoying. I am doing him a professional courtesy, but he either can't or won't extend me the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 15:42

FickleOcelot · 02/10/2025 15:08

Any chance he could have got your availability backwards?

I've experienced something similar before when i emailed saying I could do any times except x,y,z and they didn't read properly and promptly suggested y.

I thought so, but after the first two times, I was really clear. So now it feels deliberate, but I don't see why he would do that?

OP posts:
LemondrizzleShark · 02/10/2025 15:45

Just send him a calendar invitation for a time that suits you, and stop responding.

Shedmistress · 02/10/2025 15:53

'I'm not sure how I can slot you in at 10 when I am on a call between 9 and 11. If you refer to my previous list of availability and use that as a guide to my availability then outside of the times I have stated I am not available, you should find some availability.'

MyLimeGuide · 02/10/2025 18:14

How are you going to kill him? Poisoning his tea? Or a bit of stabbing?

Toomuchtooearly · 02/10/2025 18:21

Can you see each other's calendars? If so, I usually just say "my calendar is up to date, please send an invite at a time that works for you" and leave it at that. I can't be bothered with listing out availability in an email, especially as it changes quite often with meetings going in etc.

Gizlotsmum · 02/10/2025 18:21

I would also want to kill him. However I would send him ( for the last time) times I was available rather than times I am not. It does sound like he wants you to do all the leg work but giving times you are available rather than times you are not might help his pea brain figure it out!

B1anche · 02/10/2025 18:29

Whenever I see a thread with a title like this, before I click on it, I always think 'Shit, I hope this isn't one of my colleagues posting about me'. Fortunately, it's not!

OP, he sounds unbearable. It would probably be best to sit him down / call him and tell him that you find it rude and disrespectful that he doesn't read your emails properly plus you don't have time to keep repeating yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

Zempy · 02/10/2025 18:53

I don’t think you have thought this through properly.

The logistics of murdering someone so far away are tricky. If you travel, then there’s a clear evidence trail.

Have you considered anthrax by post?

Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:25

MyLimeGuide · 02/10/2025 18:14

How are you going to kill him? Poisoning his tea? Or a bit of stabbing?

He is in the US. Maybe letter bomb?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:27

Toomuchtooearly · 02/10/2025 18:21

Can you see each other's calendars? If so, I usually just say "my calendar is up to date, please send an invite at a time that works for you" and leave it at that. I can't be bothered with listing out availability in an email, especially as it changes quite often with meetings going in etc.

No and we don't need to. We just need one conversation thank fuck. But he has managed to make it a very annoying one before it has even happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:34

Gizlotsmum · 02/10/2025 18:21

I would also want to kill him. However I would send him ( for the last time) times I was available rather than times I am not. It does sound like he wants you to do all the leg work but giving times you are available rather than times you are not might help his pea brain figure it out!

I gave him that first. Then I said I am available...... I am not available.........(in the middle of the night, because I am 5 hours ahead) because he was not grasping the time difference. He has asked today for 1am here despite me being really clear that I can flex up to 8pm here, so we need to be finished by 3pm his time. The man is a moron.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 21:35

Zempy · 02/10/2025 18:53

I don’t think you have thought this through properly.

The logistics of murdering someone so far away are tricky. If you travel, then there’s a clear evidence trail.

Have you considered anthrax by post?

Thos would be less likely to be intercepted than a letter bomb. It also saves me a journey. I like it!

OP posts: