My fiance and I are 33 and 35 and have been engaged for 2 years. No plans to have kids, just a DDog. Absolutely zero wedding plans have been made so far, friends and family are constantly asking us about what we're planning.
The main reasons why I'm dragging my heels is firstly that I simply can't be bothered with all of the planning. I read about all of the wedding dramas, and bitchy hen dos on here and it really puts me off! I have a few different friendship groups, many of whom love a drink. I find the idea of mixing everyone including my partner's medic colleagues and my family members who are certainly not party animals soo awkward and cringeworthy!
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that the average wedding is now £23,700 and that I would prefer to spend the money on travel/property. We would have a lot of people to invite on both sides. We have attended weddings with significantly less guests than we would have to ask that have all been over £30,000. I hate the idea of being ruthless with the guest list and offending people who don't make the cut due to financial constraints. My mum has suggested to just invite family, but our friends who have married have spent loads on ensuring that we have a lovely day and I would just feel rude. Plus I would want my friends there if I did choose to get married!.
I think weddings have become out of hand from a cost perspective. I also think the concept of a cash bar is incredibly tacky. All of my friends who are not from the UK are shocked by our culture of making guests pay for their own alcohol to a party they have been invited to. I also wince at making my friends pay hundreds to attend a hen party or thousands plus annual leave to attend a destination wedding.
Conversely I am worried about missing out on a major milestone and regretting it later in life. As you can probably tell, I am a chronic overthinker and I falter a little when I see people's beautiful wedding photos. My mum keeps reminding me that my 90 year old grandmother would love to see me married and so would all of the family.
My absolute ideal wedding would be to go to Vegas with perhaps 7 of my closest friends and my partner's closest friends plus both of our siblings and just have a party. This would exclude older family members as they would not be interested in going to Vegas. The other option is just to tell nobody and elope entirely on a big holiday we have planned early next year. Please help!