Fat discrimination is a gateway to other forms of discrimination

[AnxiousApocalypse]

I'm morbidly obese and have struggled with extreme weight gain due to psychiatric medication I'm on. Currently a UK size 26/28, I put up with a lot of rude, ignorant comments about my weight. I want to start taking a weight loss injection such as Semaglutide or Tirzepatide but am worried about being able to afford the higher dosages when the time comes to increase the dosage. People at work can't seem to get enough of commenting on how fat I am. I've just watched the BBC Panorama documentary about the undercover journalist in the Met Police at Charing Cross. One of the police officers was extremely rude about a fat woman he met off the internet. I also watched a clip of a misogynistic podcaster called Myron who says fat people should be rounded up. People struggle with their weight for a whole variety of reasons, but society deems it acceptable to kick someone when they're already down. I know I'm fat and I want to change that but it doesn't help having people treat you as subhuman.

If you are getting comments about your weight from colleagues, raise it with your manager and with HR. That is not acceptable.

I don't think you'll find many posters on Mumsnet who think it's fine to treat people as subhuman.

You obviously haven't read the fat bashing threads. I didn't know that was a thing until being on here.
@AnxiousApocalypse can't you get WLI prescribed?

Well I’m not sure about ‘gateway’. People who are horrible about other people do tend to be consistent in that. And far more will be privately judgemental and share their thoughts anonymously on the internet.
Are you talking about the news about the Met police?
I don’t think you’ll find any place on earth where people don’t make judgements and comments on very obese people. You can’t manage that. You can only manage your reactions to it - or start to tackle the issue.
I’m on WLI and think they’re fantastic. Worth any money. Don’t forget how much you could potentially save on food costs. For me it’s stopping casual alcohol drinking that’s saving me £50 a month.

speaking as an ex fatty (21 stone and a size 20) I do judge fat people. I wouldn’t say I discriminate or that it’s a gateway to other discrimination but I do judge them.

I remember how hard it was to get the weight off and it’s still a daily battle now with food and exercise but even knowing this, I do believe most fat people are lazy.

Nobody should be commenting on your weight at work so you should go to HR about it. Start on the wegovy if you can afford it, you don't necessarily need to move up to higher doses if lower ones work - I'm on 0.5 and lost 20kg since the start of July.

I'm sorry this is happening OP. It makes me so angry, it's (quite correctly) not acceptable to discriminate on the basis of colour, gender or sexuality, so it's like some people just have to find another group to have a go at. Right now (on your thread) there are lovely pictures of a beautiful, well and colourfully dressed woman having fun with her children - but when you read the text it's an advert for weight loss drugs. All of which is not answering your problem, I just wish people would live their own lives and forget the prejudicial nonsense. Anyway good luck to you OP whatever you decide to do.

I would sue your employers and then use the money to fund the WLI.

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP

Whilst I don’t think it’s necessarily a gateway to other forms of discrimination, or is comparable to other forms of discrimination, I do think it is often rooted in misogyny. Much like the examples in your OP.

Keep a note of everytime someone makes an unpleasant comment to you at work. Do you respond at all or have you ever raised it? You should make your feelings known to your line manager, if they join in then skip them and go straight to HR. ACAS offer free, confidential, employment advice.

Sue them for what? Shit advice is not going to help the OP.

Sue them for what? it isn't even discrimination (being obese is not a protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010).

Um…subhuman maybe not but Mumsnetters can be pretty vile to fat people, we’re one of the most hated groups on here I think.

Op, the work thing is not ok and actually not normal. I’m a similar size as you and have not experienced anything like that. What sort of job do you do? Can you discuss this with hr or management?

But you've only just lost the weight - you've got the ex fat person zeal (like evangelical ex smokers). Most people put it back on and then some so come back and judge fat people in a couple of years if you've kept it all off for that time. Sounds like you have some self esteem issues if you think you were lazy all the time you were bigger.

If they’re complicit in the fat shaming then OP would have a case.

Dismissing other people’s advice as shit without knowing the facts is asinine. You do you, don’t insert yourself everywhere.

What type of environment do you work in? In my sector it would be a serious HR issue to be mentioning a colleague's weight.

I do judge very fat people, because I'm only human, in the same way I also judge alcoholics and drug addicts. I'm not quite sure where the expectation comes from that we shouldn't. I obviously wouldn't dream of SAYING anything though. And yes, I know people get fat for myriad reasons, and when I make a snap judgement I'm not taking all of that into account.

I lost the weight 16 years ago through the gym and slimming world and it’s still a daily battle. I didn’t think I was lazy when I was fat, the mindset kicked in as soon as I’d lost the weight and I still believe it now.

I have friends and family of all shapes and sizes and it’s hard to not judge them. I would obviously never comment to their face or behind their back.

Ironic that Op posts about being judged as a fat woman and already the judgmental posts (but all ok as from an 'ex fatty ') have started.

Op - 2 things. One your work colleagues should not be being rude about your weight. Two - for me mounjaro has helped me lose 7 stone. And so far been worth every penny.

Fatty on WLI here. I don’t believe obese people are lazy. I’m not and others aren’t necessarily. I don’t judge anyone and I’ll never do even if the injections bring me back to a healthy weight.

Judging is just plain nasty and an indicator of a personality which is crappier than my metabolism.

I disagree that they are lazy, it’s a food addiction/ eating disorder for many.
Not having the strength or mental capacity to lose weight is not lazy it’s just not being able to tap into that part of your brain as easily or without support.
People have to be ready for change and understand how to achieve it and understand their emotions and behaviours towards food and what has led them to obesity.

The very few people I've known who were openly fat phobic were also racist. It's a type of bigoted, obnoxious personality that some people have.
It's like that saying "Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me"

What kind of case would she have? It’s not a protected characteristic so that takes out discrimination. She’d be expected to exhaust the grievance process before claiming constructive dismissal, and even that that is incredibly difficult to win.

So genuinely, what would her case be based on and what would her claim be?

Whilst I’m sure OP wouldn’t see your post and immediately do it with no further research, giving rubbish advice to try and mislead someone who is clearly down isn’t a nice thing to do.

One thing that never gets mentioned when people compare obesity to addicts of alcohol, smoking etc is that you HAVE to eat. You can't quit, you can't go cold turkey. Even cutting out sugar is really difficult because it's IN so many things that avoiding it is time consuming and potentially expensive. Even leaving aside any physical symptoms or aspects of addiction, the practicalities of dieting are much more complex than just quitting.

I really feel for you re your medication. Anyone who hasn’t been on a drug like that probably struggles to understand the effect. I was on a very low dose of quetiapine and wow! I could eat for Britain.

If your dr/psychiatrist thinks WLI are suitable for you then I think you should try them.

And to answer your question - no, not necessarily. I can be as judgmental as the next person but I think we often judge others based on bits of ourselves we don’t like (consciously or otherwise). And your colleagues don’t sound nice at all.

Good luck, OP. You can do this, girl.

I don't know about your thread title. I think rude cunts are just rude cunts tbh.

This!

It’s so compliated.

I started to become Anorexic in my teens then switched to bulimia for twenty years!

I cured myself of that and all that time I was so slim. Since then I am now three stone overweight because I impulsively eat and I haven’t regulated my hunger signals properly, I am working on it though but it’s not just greed or laziness.

And being three stone overweight is a lot less riskier than the being anorexic or bulimic but I have to be careful because the weight could creep up which I’m aware of.