Fat discrimination is a gateway to other forms of discrimination

[AnxiousApocalypse]

I'm morbidly obese and have struggled with extreme weight gain due to psychiatric medication I'm on. Currently a UK size 26/28, I put up with a lot of rude, ignorant comments about my weight. I want to start taking a weight loss injection such as Semaglutide or Tirzepatide but am worried about being able to afford the higher dosages when the time comes to increase the dosage. People at work can't seem to get enough of commenting on how fat I am. I've just watched the BBC Panorama documentary about the undercover journalist in the Met Police at Charing Cross. One of the police officers was extremely rude about a fat woman he met off the internet. I also watched a clip of a misogynistic podcaster called Myron who says fat people should be rounded up. People struggle with their weight for a whole variety of reasons, but society deems it acceptable to kick someone when they're already down. I know I'm fat and I want to change that but it doesn't help having people treat you as subhuman.

Regarding the Met officer, I believe he was discussing a woman he’d met for a date. People are allowed to have dating preferences. If he didn’t want to date a larger woman, he’s at liberty to say so.

It’s a very deep-rooted psychological trait and it’s not as easy as telling people to be kind and not judge. They will because they’re human. If you’re morbidly obese, it’s obviously unhealthy. People can’t help judging, and there’s no stopping that. You haven’t specified what your colleagues have said, only that you find it rude, and you’re not helping yourself when you make baseless accusations like people ‘treating you as subhuman’. That’s just unhelpful hyperbole on your part.

People with a bigoted, racist, fatphobic personality often are vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel. To them being fat is the worst thing you can be, meanwhile they have far worse traits than being fat that everyone can see.

How do you know they are baseless accusations? And people CAN help vocalising their judgement. You can think whatever you like in the privacy of your own head..it's when you turn it into words and actions it's a problem.

Body-shaming is a form of bullying, and she may have a claim for unfair treatment or a breach of her employer's duty of trust and confidence.

She can also sue if her employer's fat-shaming is linked to a protected characteristic, such as disability.

The point is OP should seek union or legal advice.

I’m fairly confident the people OP is referring to don’t actually see her as ‘subhuman’. That’s her own spin on it.

I have a very overweight friend and they are far from lazy. Very hard worker. In a way I think their hard working might contribute to their eating. My Dad was the same. He was an extremely hard worker and I think got pleasure from food. Yes, it was not good for his health but if you look at the person as a whole you can understand it.

I know people judge but we can criticise them for judging and for not stopping to think. I do think it's a little of the 'there bit for the grace of God, go i'.

I remember watching a documentary once about a very slim woman with some serious gut health issues causing immense pain. The doctors did a fecal transplant using the faeces from her daughter. Their daughter has always been overweight. The transplant worked amazingly quickly but now that very slim woman is overweight. Doctors think it's something to do with gut biome.

People will always judge and gossip. It could be your weight, having too many (or too few) children, your job, your pay, your nationality, the list goes on.
Doing it openly in a work setting is unprofessional. Doing it outside of work is just plain rude. But some people will still do it.
If your weight bothers you, then yes, try the slimming injection but do it for yourself, not to silence other people’s judgment. Because nasty people will always find something else to pick on anyway.

In no way don’t agree with any discrimination but I wonder if the reason you have given is that people can’t choose to be another colour (for example) but can ‘choose’ (again not saying they can but the perception) to be overweight and there are things they can do to address their weight.

So the discrimination is almost or judgement is against the persons personality rather than a physical characteristic…..?

OP - that's something to bring up with HR, difficult though I know it would be.
I've lost 4 stone on Mounjaro and it's transformed my life, it's worth the money. The boost it's given me has been enough to focus on myself and my health, switched off the 'food noise' for me, which I didn't realise was there.
I still have a way to go but am tapering off now after 10 months because I feel I'm at a point where I'm in control again.

Same.

Worked with a very racist Australian woman who openly said fat people were selfish and disgusting.

She was so self righteous. All that traveling and yoga and organic food and she was still rotten.

I agree. Don’t tolerate this crap.

I had one woman in my job tell me not to eat a packet of crisps as it was so calorific. I told her to mind her own business and ate it in front of her. It wasn’t directly body shaming but I doubt she would have said that to me if I was a few stone lighter.

She’s no longer in the role and I have since lost the weight but I do lose a bit of respect for people who said things like that when I was heavier.

It's a shortcut for saying they don't treat her with dignity and respect. Are you always so focused on semantics over the actual issue?

I worked with a woman who told me ( then size 16/18 and overweight) that she'd rather be dead than overweight like me. I wish to god I'd reported that at the time! Although in my head I suppose I realised that she had the issues not me to feel like that. She was very controlling over food.

I must admit that I used to have the attitude that larger people ‘just’ needed to quit eating as much and go for a run. I thought my attitude was normal because I had a few fat/obese people in my life and I treated them the same as everyone else and would never ever have said a word. But looking back, I did think, deep down, that they must lack willpower. I thought that they needed to grit their teeth and get on with it. Especially the ones who complained about their weight. But I read some articles and also the book Why We Eat Too Much and my opinion changed completely. It’s not lack of willpower or laziness, but a malfunctioning of physiological processes connected with hunger and satiety hormones. I’m not exactly slim myself these days, despite having managed it for the first 50 or so years of my life and I cut myself, and others, a bit of slack.

Didn't someone say the same about Marilyn Monroe? Madness.

I don't think many people 'hate' fat people, it's just a frustrating situation to deal with someone who has an addiction. If the person was addicted to alcohol, or video games, or etc the reaction would be similar.

I dont think anyone hates fat people, but it’s frustrating to deal with someone who has an addiction to food. Drug addicts, gambling addicts, gaming addicts etc get a lot of shit for being addicted.. so i think its the same with food addiction. It’s frustrating especially when the answer is to cut down what your eating & try and do excerise; yet there always seems to be an excuse.

Why is it frustrating dealing with a fat person?

Because you care about them and want them to live a good life. I know it's not an easy fix emotionally, but it's a very simple fix practically, and their life will improve in all kinds of ways if they lost some weight (or stopped drinking or whatever the addiction is)

@ufo do you think the people at work commenting on the OPs weight are doing so because they care about her and are frustrated? Is that an acceptable justification for being unkind and unhelpful, possibly even verging on workplace bullying?

I am sorry, @AnxiousApocalypse that people at your work are being such shits about your weight. There's no justification for it. None at all. Being overweight or obese is an issue that can't be hidden from other people, unlike lots of other issues that people struggle with, and so it puts you at risk of being treated badly by inadequates who need to get their self esteem and sense of self worth by kicking other people they view as vulnerable.

I've just said almost exactly this on the other fatphobia thread currently trending on here.

It's an outlet to be nasty and judgmental for people who have had that outlet closed down by evolved views about colour, gender, race, disability or sexuality.

These fat-bashers are the would-be (or once would have been) racists, sexists and disability shamers. Increasingly it seems to me there are, sadly, just some people who want to be like this.

Being overweight or obese is an issue that can't be hidden from other people, unlike lots of other issues that people struggle with, and so it puts you at risk of being treated badly by inadequates who need to get their self esteem and sense of self worth by kicking other people they view as vulnerable.

Extremely well put.

I, too, believe it has more to do with the self-esteem or mental state of the shamer.

Frustrating? I've yet to meet an overweight person who's lost a job, neglected their kids, insulted people, been chaotic and out of control, been a nightmare to get home at the end of the night, put themselves in very risky situations, spent £££ on food to the detriment of paying bills, severely injured themselves, had flights diverted, got in trouble with the police, shoplifted because their BMI in 30+... however I know alcoholics who have done all of these things and some alcoholics who've done ALL of them.

That comparison is an insult and just goes to show the prejudice against overweight people.

Speak to HR it's bullying and it's not okay.

I have a work colleague - who I manage - who has horrendous mental health and causes me as her manager a lot of headaches, quite frankly. The meds she's on would kill a lesser person. But she looks superfit and is superfit physically ( gym bunny, eats vegan) so no-one would know.
I suppose I could think - she needs to get a grip, be more disciplined, try herbal remedies, just get out more, leave that dickhead she's with who causes her endless misery, get off those meds. Why does she need them anyway? WHY can't she self regulate without them when there's nothing really wrong with her other than being really depressed...

Lucky for her the issues she has are hidden, if she were FAT heaven forbid, every fucker would have an opinion, including if she were to take WL jabs.