Do I send the kids when they don’t want to go

[35goingon80]

My children are 6 and 9. Every week is a struggle to get them to their dads. To be honest it’s a pain as I have to get everything ready for school, he never reads with them/homework never done. They are going away this weekend (not abroad) so he has decided to have them from Friday because it suits him. It’s like he picks and chooses and I don’t get a say. I don’t think my 2 like the fact that new gf is there or something, do they have to go?

No they go to wrap around care, he picks them up at 6pm. Getting everything ready for 2 days at school is hard work, ironing everything, making sure they have their PE kit, trainers, shoes. It would be easier if he did all that instead

Be brings me a bag of clothes every couple of weeks which haven’t been washed in ages!

My 9 year old is the same, absolutely hates going and cries for two nights beforehand. But my older DC is fine. Could it be just a difficult age where they're more attached to DM?

Agree with others though, you need to facilitate it for your DCs sake, and that may make all the effort for you feel easier.

My DD 9 just hates having to go between houses and not being with me. And I don't blame her, it's her life and I wouldn't like to be being shipped around either.

Controversially I think more shorter stints are better than longer ones, so going round for tea, simple school pick ups and one night sleepovers, but several times a week to keep the contact there, but without the big upheaval. But that's probably not for everyone.

Why do you accept it, give him it back to do his own laundry for the kids. Similarly with school, he needs to sort uniforms etc - it feels pointless because you’re still doing wife work.

Yes, I actually thought my life would be easier once I got rid of him to be honest!

How would you like it if the boot was on the other foot.
Dad was writing about you?

We all have to do things we don't want too sometimes.

Well as it’s a forum where anybody can post I think he would be well within his rights to surely?

Tbh at their young ages, yes I do think it's important that they go in order to maintain a relationship with their father.

Try and think how acceptable you'd think it was if it was flipped and they didn't want to come home to you when they were at their dad's (practicalities of living primarily with you aside)? I don't think you'd think that was a possibility in the same way as it's important for children to spend time with both parents.

By all means share with him that they're sometimes not keen, might make him rethink what he does with them on his time. But I think they definitely should still be going. 6 and 9 is not old enough to decide you no longer want to pursue a relationship with your father.