Please be patient with me, this may be a long one…
I met my current bf online in December last year, we went on a couple of dates but I was really busy with work/kids/stressed about Christmas and found him to be too full on so ended it.
We kept in touch as we have similar interests and went on a date again in Feb this year, we’ve been together ever since. We’ve competed together and have done some amazing things and made the best memories.
There have been a few red flags - he’s always saying he would never be violent to women or children and I just kind of thought why would anyone need to say this?! It’s surely as standard that we aren’t violent to anyone??
He cancelled a race I was excited to do because he said I was too tired from an earlier race I’d done. He just canceled without consulting me, he was trying to look after me.
Recently work has got even busier, I have a cleaning business and due to staff shortages and holidays etc. I’ve been working 6 days a week, 50+ hrs to keep everything going. I also have 2 teens and because of them I don’t see him as much as I would like. I’d warned him that the month was going to be busy and to just be a little patient while I got through the work stuff.
He doesn’t work so has an awful lot of time on his hands ( he sold some businesses and doesn’t need to work anymore) just spends most of his time training for an upcoming event. So I understand that he feels like we don’t see each other much but to me it feels like we do, one night in the weekend and Friday through to Sunday evening, while my children are at their dads.
there was an evening where he arrived at mine at 8pm on a Friday, we had a small disagreement about dinner and he got up and left, He messaged the next day to apologise and I said let’s have some space this weekend. He messaged on the Monday to end things and called me some horrible names, we sorted it out and got back together.
The following weekend he questioned me about whether I was cheating or not and gave me a love bite, even when I tried to push him off, he used force so I couldn’t get him off me.
I was obviously upset, had another argument - he ended things again, also calling me some awful names - Cunt, manipulative, cruel.
He turned up the next day with my stuff and we talked and I thought we’d sorted it out.
the following weekend when I said I needed to do some things resulted in him telling me he was busy and wouldn’t be able to see me until our race on the Sunday. I agreed because I assumed it was for a reaction which he wasn’t going to get. And he ended it again!! Also calling me a user and abuser this time!
we went 4 days with no contact before he started sending insta posts and now he’s back again - professing his love and how he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me.
Is he completely bonkers?! Rereading this, I think I know the answer. Am I right in ending things and not going back?
I feel sick with worry about what to do, and if im going to make the wrong decision.