To cross a (familiar) pedestrian crossing on a red man?

[NameChanger203]

at a busy junction, I cross every day and know the exact sequence of lights. There is about 30 seconds every 4 minutes the light is green for pedestrians. There are other times it’s same to cross at my point as traffic is going in other directions but the entire junction stays red for pedestrians.

There are a couple of these on my way to station and every morning I need to cross this to catch a train, and if I wait for green I could miss my train. Lots of others do it too, but not many with young kids (it’s also a school run route).

if I’m with my kids (7 and 5), I always wait for the green man regardless and they know they must too as they don’t know the sequence. When they ask why others do it I say they are taking a silly risk, never copy etc.

However I do cross alone on red when other kids are around, overheard a young boy this morning as me and a couple of others stepped out “why are they crossing when it’s not green”, mum loudly: “because they are ignorant t**ts”. Aside from her disgusting language in front of a small child I felt berated and guilty enough to reconsider if I’m okay to do this.

YABU - always wait until green, especially when any kids are around
YANBU - cross if you know it’s safe, kids are with a responsible adult who should be taking the responsibility and explaining when it’s safe

Not your responsibility to teach other people's kids road safety, and not their business what you're doing.

The other mum should be teaching her kids not to be led astray by your actions, just as you do with your kids. It’s a good teaching moment for them. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought, you did nothing wrong.

No you aren't responsible for others children.

But people do that on a crossing around here... but the lights are actually Green for traffic turning into the road which causes near misses.

I always wait when there's kids about. Although it's not my job to teach other's children about road safety, it's better to be a good example than a bad one

The correct response is "nice lesson in passive aggressive abuse for your kids there. I hope they are paying attention".

I always wait if there’s kids there - I see at as my role in their “village”, we’re all responsible for setting a good example to the next generation.

I don’t have my own kids though but I don’t think I’d be vocally annoyed at others who didn’t do the same.

Are you risking being fined? I've certainly seen people get fined in our CBD for crossing against the lights - called jaywalking here.

That law was a result of lobbying from the car industry in the 1920s, they managed to redefine who had right of way on the roads in order to benefit themselves and their customers.

The UK did not bow to that pressure.

No, not illegal in UK. There are recommendations in the Highway Code, but you can basically cross wherever/ whenever you like (obviously as long as it’s safe and you are aware of surroundings).

I'd wait if there was a family waiting to cross.

Leave home earlier if you’re that limited on time?

I wouldn’t give this another thought op. Cross whenever you like.

I mostly wait for the green man with my kids but it has never occured to me to expect other people to do the same and nor would I give a shit when I’m on my own.

Can you leave home 2 minutes earlier?
Then you can wait for green...

Ah interesting thanks! Its one of those things I just assumed was universal - like it being illegal to park against the traffic direction - that turn out not to be!

I can see exactly where you’re coming from but really she’s only doing what you do when you have your kids with you, albeit with addition of foul language! 🤣
I try not to do this kind of thing when there are kids crossing. Sometimes I forget and half way across think shit, wish I hadn’t done that…but as a pp said that is also a teachable moment for those children! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I , and many, many, other people I see routinely cross at crossings when the red man is showing.

The proviso being that I am very, very careful and that I am familiar with the traffic sequence. There is one exception and that is a very busy crossing in a nearby town which is much too dangerous to do other than wait for the green man because it's on a blind corner.

And obviously if I was accompanied by a child, or a dog, I would always wait for a green man.

As someone who doesn't drive and is crossing a lot of roads and crossings during the course of a day waiting for a green man every time would be just time consuming and ridiculous.

I must say as well I'm old enough to remember a time when we didn' t have the green man. Of course traffic was so much lighter. We did have the zebra crossings with Belisha Beacons at busy points but they were actually quite unuser friendly from the pedestrians point of view as a lot of motorists tried to disregard the requirements to stop.

it would be difficult for I leave early, I need to get kids fed/ready for school before I leave (DH is working from home and takes kids to school, but is usually on a regular morning call 7.30-8am (European colleagues). He blocks his calendar for school run, but I can’t leave until he’s off call otherwise kids just stop making progress and they’d be late). It’s a 12-20 minute walk to station depending on the crossings. Train is at 8.18am!

If there are children waiting to cross then i wait for the green man. It's not a conscious thought though, just instinct.
One of my earliest memories is being very confused when some people were crossing (at a very busy road) at the red man and we had to wait for the green man. I came up with some weird reasons why this had happened. Of course being a young child I had to voice those reasons very loudly on the bus all the way home. My poor mother - that day became etched in our family story forever.

I think you’re massively overthinking it and the mum was just making it very clear to a young child that crossing on red is dangerous. I’ve answered the same question from DD3 with “because they’re silly billies” because I am watching a small child at a crossing, waiting for a green man that often doesn’t give much time for DDs little legs to get across, and I don’t have bandwidth for a nuanced conversation with a child who is of an age where black and white thinking prevails.

There is no crime of jaywalking in the UK. We're allowed to use our own discretion.

I cross when there is a gap, not my responsibility to parent other people's children. Like you OP, I now the road signal timings so can judge it

So - you do the right thing when you are with your own children - but when you are not you are happy for other children to see you breaking the rules?

Hmmmmm ..........

Ok, but "if I wait for green I could miss my train" is a silly excuse. You could always leave home three minutes earlier…

Hmm. I have drilled in to my dc that you never cross the road unless you are sure its safe, ignore what other people do. Dd2 is 8 and will often say "mummy why is that person crossing when it's not green?", mostly because she loves to feel that she is in the right.

I'm an adult and when I am on my own I cross pedestrian crossings on the red man if I know the light sequence or see the road is clear. But I never do this around children or outside a school. Especially a primary school where dc in Yr 5 and 6 might be on their own and could so easily think that it must be safe to step out. It isn't my responsibility to teach road safety to other peoples' dc but it just feels like a common courtesy.

I will wait if there are children around. It’s hard enough being a parent without me complicating things and children learn from ALL examples, not only those given by their parents.