To cross a (familiar) pedestrian crossing on a red man?

[NameChanger203]

at a busy junction, I cross every day and know the exact sequence of lights. There is about 30 seconds every 4 minutes the light is green for pedestrians. There are other times it’s same to cross at my point as traffic is going in other directions but the entire junction stays red for pedestrians.

There are a couple of these on my way to station and every morning I need to cross this to catch a train, and if I wait for green I could miss my train. Lots of others do it too, but not many with young kids (it’s also a school run route).

if I’m with my kids (7 and 5), I always wait for the green man regardless and they know they must too as they don’t know the sequence. When they ask why others do it I say they are taking a silly risk, never copy etc.

However I do cross alone on red when other kids are around, overheard a young boy this morning as me and a couple of others stepped out “why are they crossing when it’s not green”, mum loudly: “because they are ignorant t**ts”. Aside from her disgusting language in front of a small child I felt berated and guilty enough to reconsider if I’m okay to do this.

YABU - always wait until green, especially when any kids are around
YANBU - cross if you know it’s safe, kids are with a responsible adult who should be taking the responsibility and explaining when it’s safe

I’ll cross when I choose to. I usually wait for the green light and I’m very cautious but I’ll make my own judgement. It isn’t my job to teach other people’s children. Besides it’s important to teach them that they shouldn’t go just because other people do(Unless the green light is displaying) and also older children need to learn to cross safely without the light because sometimes the lights aren’t working.

One of my biggest peeves is that vehicles, usually with just one or two people in, have priority over hundreds of pedestrians in cities. We even go so far as to thank drivers who stop at zebra crossings for us, which they must do by law. I don't see drivers thanking pedestrians who are waiting to cross. Boils my blood.

Cross when you want but be prepared for things like this. My children have additional needs and no filter. They would absolutely question this and have done many times. I tell them they don't want to wait but we always wait for the lights because it's safe to cross and not get squashed. I don't always wait when I'm alone but if I'm with my kids and when there are kids there I do wait. You don't have to I just do cos I know what my kids are like.

Yes and I do the same. Nothing wrong with it.

Also, kids need to learn to actually look at what is going on with the roads as I’m pretty sure they will need to cross without a crossing at some point.

You could cycle, much quicker

how do you know this? 😂

Kids should learn how to cross a road properly and that does not mean following someone crossing without looking, that means looking at the lights and traffic themselves. If your child isn't able to do this then maybe you should teach them

I always wait for the green man if there are children around.

A teaching moment by calling crossing adult pedestrians, twats? I think we can guess she's already leading her child astray by teaching him to use disgusting language.

I’ve always taught by kids the green man is information rather than a rule. Otherwise they might interpret the green man as ‘it’s definitely ok to cross’, when in reality car drivers jump lights. We talk about why they might need to wait when adults don’t. It’s seems very unrealistic to me to expect the world around you to behave in a certain way and not prepare your kids for that uncertainty and unpredictability.

If there was no traffic or the traffic was far away then of course I would cross.

You aren’t doing anything wrong in crossing whenever you feel it’s safe. Personally I tend to wait if there are kids around, but that doesn’t mean you are wrong.

I’ve chosen not to have children so it’s not up to me to set a good example to random kids if they are with their mum.

A kid alone next to me, I probably would wait, incase they did that thing where they just follow out of instinct.

I agree with this , its the same as not been rude , swearing ( despite the foul language from the mum ) and making sure you say please and thankyou infront of yours and other children .
If they don't notice that's fine , if they do and it influences them even just a tiny bit , that's great.
Lead by example.

As long as there’s no cars then I can’t see a problem. You tell your child people are being silly and the other parent tells their kid what they want. Don’t agree with swearing but same thing applies

If you use a crossing regularly you can learn it's light sequence BUT (1) beware if they change the programme one day and you get splattered and (2) you can ask the council to change that stage to show a green man instead of a red. They may accept your suggestion as better/safer than what is already programmed.

Cross whenever you want to and it is safe. Other people’s road safety lessons to their children are not your concern.

Absolutely. Me too. It takes a village, etc.

I would always model good behaviour around kids, just like I'm extra vigilant with speed and indicating when I see a learner driver!

You’ve misunderstood, read again… the teaching moment is when someone around your child does something that’s not advisable for the child to do themselves. The parent needs to teach the child to not blindly follow what other people to and help them develop some critical thinking.

Yeah I might have felt a little guilty if there were kids waiting, and questioned it, but that would have vanished the moment their mum used the word twats to reply to them!!

Dear god. I have young children. They know we wait for the green man. They also know that other adults can assess risk better than they can and therefore make their own decision to not wait for the green man. Other people are not “silly billies” or whatever else, they’re just people trying to get on.

I almost always wait when there are young kids around. I'd be pissed off if someone crossed on the red man when I was waiting with my own child. And I would understand and agree that I was being a twat if I crossed anyway (I guess I might if I were in a hurry).

Of course it's up to parents to teach road safety, but it's also up to everyone to model good behaviour to keep other people's children safe.

I would be ashamed to admit this. What a fragmented society we now live in - every person for themselves .... how very sad.

I never cross on the red man. You do not know where chidlren might be watching - in a car for instance. I care about the safety of all children, not just my own.

Of course chilldren need to learn the rule that they need to watch the situation aorund them with care4; but the first and best rule they learn is only to cross on the green man (whilst also looking around them).

Of course it's up to parents to teach road safety, but it's also up to everyone to model good behaviour to keep other people's children safe.

Precisely.

I don't need to read again, thanks... Yes, I agree that the child needs to learn to not blindly follow others and to develop critical thinking skills. However, the "teaching moment" was lost because when the child asked why the pedestrians were crossing on the red light the mother's reply was, "because they are twats".The opportunity she had to teach the child more about road safety was replaced with teaching it to refer to the adult pedestrians as twats. That's what she taught her child this morning. - that if you ee someone doing something that you don't understand you call them twats. A decent parent would have explained about road safety in response to their child's query.