To live in bigger house but DC will have much longer school commute

[letsgoforadip]

So we have recently come into a modest inheritance.

I think we should use the money to upgrade to a larger size house in our current area, and then send DC to private school further away (45-minute commute). The area where we live is not flash, but I love our community and have good friends here. Primary schools are good. Public secondary schools, however, do not have a good reputation.

DH would rather purchase in alternative area across the other side of the city, where secondary school options are very good. Due to the price difference between areas, we would be unlikely to have a bigger house (which we both would really like), and, over time, I strongly suspect that we would probably lose a lot of existing friendships from our current community, apart from one or two really close ones. Purely due to logistics of being across other side of town.

AIBU?

Thanks, yes - I am not looking forward to the early mornings myself!

it’s very tricky because our local state secondary school is not the right fit at all for my eldest.

What school is the right for the private school or the school you could move to? Getting that right is key and you now have the money to do so

You're going to get very different answers here as in England Private school is unbelievably expensive. Im not sure what it is like in Australia.

Im in NI. My parents chose to send us to Private primary school over moving. Our local primary had massive classes, 40+ pupils in the late 80s. Told my parents I was stupid, I wasnt. My sibling had severe dyslexia which was known about back then but the school "refused" to teach her.
Private schooling here isn't overly expensive, and tends just to exist for primary school.

My parents were ignored by their previous good friends. We were the "snobs"
Their community fell apart. We were no longer allowed to be.played with by other children on the street by their parents.

At school we were poor, we disnt have the right social cues. My parents weren't professionals. My parents were young compared to most of the others and it was difficult to fit in.
But we had an excellent education.
My parents eventually moved once we went to a non private (there is only 1 in NI anyway) grammar school.

Where we live now my DS travels almost an hour with traffic to school. Its only 7 miles away but with public transport it takes almost an hour door to door. Even if we take him its about 45 to 50 mins. He still has friends both from school who he will see outside school and from home who he went to PS with around the corner

If I had more money I wouldn't move as our community is brilliant. I hope that you have better friends than my parents did.
And just be aware that it is difficult to be a "poorer" child in a private school, even if that private school is only 4k a year not 40k plus

I'm already spending 2 hours driving my teens to school every day, and that's a half hour journey. I wouldn't fancy 45 minutes unless there was really no alternative.

I have no regrets doing this exact thing. Yes the early mornings were a pain but it was the right answer for DD. Longer school holidays = decent respite from it.