To have a rule in my relationship: if I don’t want to be touched, that’s the end of the conversation?

[TheLuckyLimeHiker]

It’s not about rejection or lack of affection, it’s about boundaries. Sometimes I just don’t want physical contact and I don’t think I should have to explain or justify it every time.
It’s not that I expect my partner to read my mind, I communicate it clearly but once I’ve said “not right now”, I don’t want to be guilted, questioned or made to comfort him about it.

AIBU to think that “no” or “not right now” should be accepted without emotional fallout?

I think this is a bit much of a boundary. No escalating of touch - absofuckinglutely. You’re allowed to cuddle on the couch without it meaning hands going elsewhere and sex. But for most of us, why be in a relationship if we can’t casually touch them? Relationships are not the same as how you interact with a casual friend or your colleague at work. I don’t always want my dh to pull me in for a cuddle, and pretty much never when I’m doing something, but patting my shoulder /bum on his way past is pretty unexceptionable, I’d expect that not to be a source of conflict unless there were exceptional circumstances - intense work pressure, you’re grieving etc.

OP, it sounds like you’re being a but rigid with this and your partner doesn’t get when it is and isn’t okay or might not have their needs beimg met. You might be wrong for each other or you might need to have a conversation at a neutral time.

I have chronic pain and some sensory stuff and I almost lost my partner from saying no to physical touch without talking it out. What helps us is finding a way to receive or give affection when even a gentle touch hurts. For example sometimes I can’t be touched but I can hug him or rest my feet on him. Or maybe you need a time out to reset if you’re touched out but he’d feel better if you expressed it centred around you “I’m overstimulated, I can’t handle touch right now” vs “don’t touch me”. Of course you don’t HAVE to give any reason, your body your choice. But do you want the social consequence of that? Is the pain of discussing it worth the pain of your partner feeling rejected.

And like a PP pointed out it really matters if it’s a few days a month, year or week

You are free to create that as a boundary. But I wouldn't like it in a relationship. When for instance if I came home from a hard day and felt like I wanted a hug and you said "sorry I can't be touched right now," I would respect it but it would also damage our relationship. Maybe you and your partner are just not compatible.

“patting my shoulder/bum on his way past”

Finally, finally, I think I have grasped the meaning of the MN expression “the ick”

Since when is that a MN expression?

I mean you do you, however it's not a common reaction.

Have you had issues in the past with other relationships?

Yeah, this. But then perhaps the relationship is already damaged if OP even feels the need for such extreme rules. I wouldn’t stay in a relationship where my partner rejected basic non-sexual contact.

I’d say “sorry I’m feeling a bit touched out” if I didn’t want to be touched, as long as he respects your boundaries and is comfortable with them it shouldn’t be an issue.
But you don’t want to end up in a position where he feels uncomfortable touching you or afraid to initiate sex.

Only place I’ve ever heard it, ymmv

This sounds awful to me. Sometimes people want and need a hug from their partner. "Not right now"? Fuck that.