To go back to the office full time

[Toofficeornot]

NC to avoid bias

I have been offered an interview for a new job.

Currently I am bored in my role. I work full time from home but actually do about 4 hours work a day. Pick kids up and can do school meetings, drs appointments. Kids have additional needs and nanny and childminder not an option.

New job is double my salary, 75k to 150k full time office based. Commute of 1.5 hours each way.

Grandma can help out but not all the time. DH works full time office based too. We need some extra money, things are tight.

Ybnbu - yes you should go for it
Ybu - no dont give uo flexibility and time with the kids

Please help me decide.

Go for it and good luck

If a nanny or childminder isn’t an option, then who is having the kids?

I guess it depends if its feasible with pick ups and drop offs? Will you be able to do them still? Will your DH?

Good luck with the interview - I would honestly think about it afterwards as otherwise you could be tying yourself up in knots over something that might not happen. I don't say that to be a Negative Nelly, I'm waiting to hear if I have been shortlisted for an interview and it would be a shift for me too, but I can't give any bandwidth to ruminating as I am nowhere near the finish line currently.

I would say go for it, but what is your actual plan re childcare?

Important to remember that although the gross salary is double, the take home won’t be - far from it.

You can get childminders and nannies specialist in SEN
see for example SNAP agency
Take the new job

If nanny and childminder aren’t an option, what are you actually going to do if neither your DH have flexibility? How far away does your DH work? If you’re 1.5hrs away, after school club (if this is possible for your children?) will finish before you can get there. Is DH’s commute shorter?
How much does DH earn? If you’re doubling your salary to £150k, does it make financial sense for him to cut his hours?

I’d think very carefully. In reality your take home salary won’t double. You’ll go into the next tax bracket, and also once over £100k you’ll lose benefits like tax free child care (i.e. free hours depending on age, plus the 20% saving on the child care costs). Plus, that commute will be expensive.

I’d work out the true take home pay increase once the above is factored in, and work out if it’s really worth it.

Compare your after tax position because, as you know, doubling your gross will not double your net plus you'll have commute costs to factor in.

But by anyone's calculation that's a massive (impressive) leap in gross income. Did they know what you are currently on when they offered?

Im not sure about childcare, this is the main issue. After school club is full. Potential family can help out. Dh commute is shorter. Maybe he can reduce hours. I am the higher earner alreadym i took a lower paid job to work from home for the kids but I have been doing it for 18 months now and I am so bored. I like the idea of still going for it and deciding along the way. My immediate reaction was to say no but I am torn.

Its what I was on before I took a massive cut to work from home full time. I was lucky in all roles since covid as never had to go back to the office full time but when I was asked to start going in I got offered my current job which was 100 percent wfh so took a massive pay cut and cut in responsibilities etc. But I am very bored.

I’d go to the interview. Then if they want you I’d be negotiating to one day at home. I wouldn’t be overly worried at this stage in the process , none of these things are issues until you have the job.

Hi. Iv 3 sen kids. Its all went to crap mid primary. No holiday scheme could cope with them, the same with afterschools. I held onto my job by skin of my teeth and have to take all term time holidays unpaid.

If childcare isn't an option you would be mad to go for new job

This does sound like a good idea. Carry on with the process and see how it ends up. I might not even get the job.
I just wrote out a whole email to say I wont be carrying it on but then saved to drafts as I need opinions.

Financially it's a no brainer and it will get you out of the house and mixing with people. But you've got to have proper plans in place for the kids. Have you discussed drop offs and pick ups with your DH/family? Having said that, I'd still go to the interview.

This is like mine. Three childminders have refused us after trials, nannies would probably leave. After school club is full. Youngest will not do clubs.
Alas, it probably will not be possible. You just reminded me about the holidays too. My youngest won't do clubs.

Just see how you go. If you get to the stage of being offered the job you’ve lost absolutely nothing by having a conversation about how it could be flexed to make it work for you. If they don’t want to be flexible and you decide no thanks then that’s cool, there is nothing lost. But not trying would be mad!

Unfortunately, this really doesn't sound feasible from what you've said in your posts.

Carry on with the process for now, but if you have complex needs children who can't cope with childcare then you'll need to have some big conversations with your DH. No matter what the salary on offer we can't both work full time, for similar reasons. One of us has to be around after school and in the holidays.

If we earned enough to employ a specialist SEN nanny then that might be an option but I still think one of us would need significant flexibility/wfh (or a 3-4 day week) to cover medical appts, EHCP annual reviews, and everything else that comes with it.

Yeah, it doesn't really :(( . Writing it out and listening to ideas is helpful though. I think I will sleep on it though. There are some good points here to think about for both arguments.

3 hours travel a day, to pay extra tax, not see my kids and have to do more work? Nope.

Dh gets fed up of saying money isn’t everything but it really isn’t, and we can all say childcare is great etc etc but this will only work if you have dedicated reliable childcare and you can both still get home early enough that the children get some time with you. Different situation as I work weekends as well as during the week but my kids have definitely felt me upping my hours. We’re definitely not giving them what they need in life.

Do it and see how it goes, if it doesn’t suit then you can always leave and look for something closer

Who do you suggest looks after the child(ren) that cant manage childcare whilst she "sees how it goes"?