Find Xmas too depressing as I get older

[TweedledumTweedleddee]

Is it an age thing? I have a hell of a lot to be grateful for, and on the day I'll feel a lot better; but I miss the heady days of Xmas as a child so much. Miss the excitement of big family celebrations with grandparents, cousins etc. Now I'm 60 I'm over it. Cousins spread out with their own families, local friends with their own families.
This year it will be just me, dh & elderly dm. Her party spirit left a long time ago, she's old & tired, arthiritic so cant do that much. Dh just cant help falling asleep in front of the tv after Xmas dinner & a couple of glasses of wine.
Even the pubs if you go out to celebrate, maybe on Xmas eve seem to have lost the Xmas cheer of the old days.
Have a dd & dgs but it's her partner's parents turn this year. Our own ds will be away for the first time, abroad with the Raf.
Yes, it'll be stress free, we've got a healthy & happy family & comfortable home, but compared to my childhood xmas's it's just another day. When I hear of others still having big family Xmas's around the table I have a lot of fomo if I'm honest; but I appreciate I still have a lot to be thankful for at Xmas. How do you snap out of this annual Xmas depression?

For me, what I've seen is that it comes and goes.

E.g. Its great as a child, but then gets worse as you become an adult... but then better as you have your own children.. but then worse as they get older... but then better when they have grandchildren!... but then worse if they aren't there or get older, or your own health struggles etc.

I think it is inevitable in the harder years to feel sad when remembering old times. But nothing is stuck or inevitable - be creative and innovative, and I'm sure you can think of something that will make this year a bit different or add a bit of excitement back in, and then next year you'll have your kids with you. Seems like you need a new non-kid tradition or way of approaching the holidays for the years when they aren't there.

I’m done with Christmas too. I loved it as a child, it was so exciting and magical. Mum and dad always made it lovely and it was something to really look forward to.

Fast forward, I have cancer and DP has Parkinson’s. DD likes Christmas, DS can take it or leave it. We eat together as a small family, but we never see wider family, as we are all so spread out. I’d like the dinner on Christmas Eve and “ do nothing day” on Christmas Day.

I hate that people feel they have to tick boxes to have a "proper" Christmas. It is like setting yourself up to fail if you don't have all the proscribed elements.
Everyone has their idea of the perfect day (wedding days are another similar thing)

We usually have a roast dinner, see some family, but not all. Token gifts, nice wine, bit of festive music and tv. No rigid plans, no set times or dress code. It's just one day.

Book a cruise, book a restaurent ,book a cottage with a roaring fire, just do something.anything different.Something to look forward to however small.It is a day really,one day and you can get through it ...I know it will not help any but you have the freedom to choose which most of us stuck with overwrought kids and grumpy family do not ...I would gladly swap you places! x

Ah, the nostalgia! Yeah, I get it, op.
We used to have get togethers, too - large extended family.
Neighbours would come round on Christmas morning for drinks (all now long dead)
My beloved dad - who adored Christmas - is no longer here.
My dds are now older (21 and 17) and so the "magic" is gone, but its been replaced by a more laid back, but still tradition led days.
On 23rd I go and take flowers to my dad.
On Christmas eve we spend the day queitly at home, watching films, Christmas episodes of tv shows we love.
Christmas day we always have my mum for dinner, every other year have pils too.
Boxing day we host siblings and niblings and friends, which the kids still love.
So its different, but we still enjoy it.
I think as we get older we look have more.

This Christmas it will just be us and DS1. I am turning our dining room into a sort of Nordic feasting hall, we will eat drink and be merry, play games, do a big quiz. Santa will come to us all. I’d be a bit stumped if it was just me but 3 of us will have an amazing time.

If you want a bigger event why not invite friends around who you know are spending it by themselves. I'm sure you know several.

I find Christmas too expensive, stressful and boring (feel terrible saying that). Our DC are late teens and the magic disappeared years ago. I would love to do something different on Christmas day but have elderly parents to consider and who would be upset if we didn't see them Christmas day and Their Christmas day would then be spent just them
... quiet, dull and boring for them.

So, we'll do the same boring thing we do every year. Roll on January.

This. None of us can go back in time to when we were kids at Christmas and how it felt then. I still love it and try to recreate it every year although my sons are grown men now, one with his first child. Be grateful that you have your childhood memories and the parent who made that so special for you. Embrace it all in your own way. There is magic if you know where to look x

Thank you

I'm not a Christmas person, but I seem to have arrived at afternoon and I am quite confused by it generally!

Agree with Op and feel the same. Am 61. Adult DCs, mum died just over a year ago. If it wasn't for dh who still wants a " traditional" Christmas..which means I do all the work..I'd go abroad until after New Year and not bother.
I have moved as far as possible from Christianity now anyway, so will celebrate the Solstice with a fire in the garden and just get through the rest as best as I can.
I also don't need a lecture on counting my blessings and a reminder that others are worse off.