Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A wave of illiterate “home schooled” children

994 replies

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 06:58

Prepared to get torn apart, and I know many homeschool because the school environment isn’t right for their children (SEN, sensory issues - whatever else) and their needs aren’t met by school with a chronic lack of SEN placements and too much demand etc. I’m not naive to that. I also know some parents with adequate resource will ensure their children have a rounded education whilst being homeschooled.

But there seems to be a movement to homeschooling by people who are simply anti establishment with a point to prove. Their grammar and communication on social media tells me they’re not equipped to homeschool a child. Not least I think the socialisation and soft skills school provides are hugely important too. I suspect most of these parents either haven’t considered the benefits of school or hugely underestimated it, especially past primary are parents really equipped to teach ALL the subjects with sufficient skill if they lack the knowledge themselves? Are they not underestimating the skills and expertise of qualified teachers?

AIBU to think it’s really concerning? These are the next generation of our workforce and infrastructure. I personally think we are hugely privileged to live in a country with free education - I know it’s not perfect but I’m not convinced homeschooling is better for a vast majority.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
localnotail · 28/09/2025 08:18

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 14:57

I think that thinking you can educate your kids to the same level yourself as an entire school of specialist teachers is one of the most arrogant view points you can have.

Like I said before - no one educates their kids entirely by themselves. There are resources online, and most homeschooling parents have tutors.

I dont homeschool but I would imagine having one to one attention (without 29 other kids disrupting the process) would be beneficial. A lot of time at school is taken up with discipline, organising and moving from class to class... Though I do agree that socialising and being able to follow rules is something homeschooling is not good at.

Needlenardlenoo · 28/09/2025 08:28

Mumofsend · 27/09/2025 21:25

The other thing that a lot possibly don't consider is that those who are able to discuss and chat about home ed in forums like this or on Facebook generally aren't the ones we worry about. We have a not insignificant number of home educating parents who we can only communicate with via phone call or in person because they are completely illiterate in terms of reading and can't even use tech well enough to access emails. They haven't got the cognitive ability or resources to hire tutors or plan social opportunities.

We also have a not insignificant number of "home educating" parents who have deregistered their children because school has raised sincere safeguarding concerns. They deregister and eyes on that child all but disappear.

My mind was blown when I started my job as to me this was incomprehensible until I was confronted with it regularly.

That's interesting and more nuanced than most of the thread.

I agree with the other poster though who said the government don't / can't deal with the issue seriously because they haven't enough suitable school places for SEND/EBSA anyway. And probably don't want to deal with educated, articulate (Mumsnetting) home educators.

They were such idiots to destabilise private schools! It's simply reduced capacity overall.

Fearfulsaints · 28/09/2025 08:37

Needlenardlenoo · 28/09/2025 08:28

That's interesting and more nuanced than most of the thread.

I agree with the other poster though who said the government don't / can't deal with the issue seriously because they haven't enough suitable school places for SEND/EBSA anyway. And probably don't want to deal with educated, articulate (Mumsnetting) home educators.

They were such idiots to destabilise private schools! It's simply reduced capacity overall.

This has been my experience also. We track the numbers of chikdren who start a school in our trust and then remove their chikd for home education (of 20 odd schools) and the reason why (if known)

The reasons vary and some are very sensible, but enough are basically either ones a safeguarding issue has been raised about.

I do actually think effective home educators need to engage with the idea that not all home education is suitable and work with the government on what would be fair in terms of safeguarding and suitability measures. I think the risk is, if they insist its all good or school can be bad too, the turn to option for the government will be to ban home education for everyone other than eotas. I dont want that.

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

sashh · 28/09/2025 09:09

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 18:24

Basically this. For every story of an illiterate child being home edded , you’ll have just as many finishing formal schooling with no GCSEs. For every child that has been harmed in some way (especially emotionally or mentally) by home ed, you’ll have just as many being harmed in a formal school environment. Including children being seriously injured, or attempting to take their own life and so on.

What we need is for schools to be better. What we need is the government to actually give a shit about children (firstly) and their education. What we need is for schools to actually be a viable, safe alternative available to all children. Then (or in conjunction with) we can look at home education regulations and possibly a more structured (but descriptive, not prescriptive) framework.

What I find highly ironic is that on any thread about issues (genuine or otherwise) with schools, every other comment is “home school then!”.

I do think the government should set up some form of online school. They should look at the Australian 'school of the air' and the OU. This would allow children who are out of school to take classes their parents are unable to provide.

It would have made lockdown much better.

GagMeWithASpoon · 28/09/2025 09:20

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

Once again, it depends on their set up and motivations. Some will indeed have a high earning partner, some will WFH around the children, some will get benefits, some work and get topped up with benefits, some will make sacrifices elsewhere, some never worked and with no actual education or care happening, there’s no extra costs really and so on. Just like with kids that do attend school.

OhNoNotSusan · 28/09/2025 09:32

an ex colleague of mine also home educating and she is not that brainy imo
i am concerned but otoh genetics may well mean her own dc will also not be that brainy either

Leftrightmiddle · 28/09/2025 09:52

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

It is unbelievably hard. Child is registered at school but can't attend as needs are not being met. Financially, it has been so hard for years. I haven't been able to work properly for years as school has been so challenging.
The stress of trying to arrange last minute child care or having to cancel work. In the end I just stopped work. Now I just work reduced hours a couple of evenings (I go to work when partner comes home).

We were fortunate that our mortgage was small and we have really tightened our belts.
I wanted to work and enjoyed my job but nothing is more important than our child being healthy and the stress of unmet needs and the trauma from school was causing so much damage that we were dealing with a real risk of suicide.

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 28/09/2025 10:01

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

For us personally, I'm disabled and my husband works part time due to caring responsibilities. One of the few silver linings of a very shit situation is that we're able to home educate.

Fern95 · 28/09/2025 10:20

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

Most home ed families I know have one SAHP or very part time worker and one high earner or they work opposite shifts. An ex teacher is a tutor which is very flexible and I know a few people who have their own businesses or teach in the evenings.

Nestingbirds · 28/09/2025 10:23

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 28/09/2025 10:01

For us personally, I'm disabled and my husband works part time due to caring responsibilities. One of the few silver linings of a very shit situation is that we're able to home educate.

Are you sure it is a silver lining for your children? I would hate to be stuck at home in this situation, and I didn’t have the best experience at secondary school. Making friends, developing your own identity, having your own school community is immensely beneficial to dc even with less than perfect schools.

Your home environment sounds suffocating sorry.

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 28/09/2025 10:36

Nestingbirds · 28/09/2025 10:23

Are you sure it is a silver lining for your children? I would hate to be stuck at home in this situation, and I didn’t have the best experience at secondary school. Making friends, developing your own identity, having your own school community is immensely beneficial to dc even with less than perfect schools.

Your home environment sounds suffocating sorry.

Are you fucking serious? You know nothing about my home environment beyond the fact that I'm disabled and you call it "suffocating" and imply that she is "stuck at home"?

I'm going to reply in full shortly, but you can absolutely fuck off with assumptions made on the sole basis that I am disabled.

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 28/09/2025 10:43

Nestingbirds · 28/09/2025 10:23

Are you sure it is a silver lining for your children? I would hate to be stuck at home in this situation, and I didn’t have the best experience at secondary school. Making friends, developing your own identity, having your own school community is immensely beneficial to dc even with less than perfect schools.

Your home environment sounds suffocating sorry.

I suggested home education while I was still teaching, with the idea that I'd continue teaching and DH would be the home educator. DD was instantly thrilled, wasn't being pushed or challenged enough in school and the secondary school choice isn't just "less than perfect", it's dire. A Year 7 was suspended from our catchment school this week, less than a month into the year, for repeated poor behaviour and swearing at teachers. I'm not sorry that she isn't in that environment.

Then I became disabled and unable to teach anymore, so it worked out for us to be able to home educate. DD was thrilled. I check in with her on a weekly basis that she's still happy and offer her the choice of trying a school; she point blank refuses. She isn't "stuck at home"; we spend more time out of the home than in it. This week she's been to various home ed and extracurricular groups, we visited a castle and a NT property, we went to the park and collected conkers for maths and science experiments. School pupils have spent more time trapped in their classrooms than she's spent at home.

She has friends, is developing her own identity and doesn't want a school community if it's the sort that's available where we live.

What part of our home environment sounds suffocating? Just the fact that I'm disabled? Should I have shuffled off to die quietly when diagnosed with a brain tumour to avoid causing suffocation?

pokewoman · 28/09/2025 10:44

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

I work freelance around my child.

Elleherd · 28/09/2025 10:51

Seymour5 · 28/09/2025 09:00

I did ask a question earlier but the issue hasn't been raised at all (unless I missed it). I know as a family on fairly ordinary wages back in the day, we wouldn't have been able to live on one income. So, unless one parent is a relatively high earner how do some parents manage to afford to keep children out of school long term?

Lone parent, disabled, WC renter, not on benefits, self employed, vegetarian family- used to be much cheaper, step kids (dad not in picture) and very small age gap between me and older ones. (for clarity I do now claim PIP)
Originally back footed into home education, before realizing it's power and embracing it.
I live pretty hand to mouth to be honest. It isn't pretty and I'm a MN outlier.
I had years of cutting my cloth too tight anyway, so little changed except we spent what I could bring in, on what we needed and wanted. Mainly in the thick of it, I took on pretty horrible work in unsocial hours, which is where the money is.
A 'think outside the box' 'problem solving' basic worker who speaks English, and can communicate well with others who don't, and understands the crap end of society and how it operates, can do well for themselves, without exploiting others. The sacrifice is health and pension, (I wont be retiring) but we where already there, I just followed more money harder.

I did later take the APWA (didn't touch the SEN part) for one Dc, off my LA through the courts, which helped a little, and tbh I effectively hustled the cost of a substantial number of IGCEs and A levels out of the private sector as a method they could show some social value as charitable status organizations. You scratch our back, we'll scratch yours. That's just ended, so one's that already benefited are putting into a pot for the one's needing them in the future.

All off them have been encouraged to make their own externally sourced 'pocket money' from being entrepreneurial, and have been encouraged to understand financial literacy at a much higher level than mine. Some have had good little businesses from early.

Dc's and now DGc's have always had huge input into decision making and consequences around their education, what we do and how it's achieved.
Result is 97% of the time are co-operative about making everything work, which meant if I picked up work that involved 12/14 hours of overnight dirty hard graft, they understood my needs on return, catching up sleep, not being ragged, and being a bit brain dead later that day. Apart from one with high SNs, they literally put squabbles on hold and understand delayed gratification most of the time.

We live a bit differently, having figured out how to ensure each others needs are met as a family with 'matriarchal head' leading it. Very occasionally I've had to put the 'matriarch' hat full on and read the riot act. I'm their parent/grandparent not their friend, but anything can be challenged and changed if you can show why it would work better. The one with high SN's gets everyone's help to voice theirs, more grace over emotional regulation, and more exceptions. I've set them up to be ok enough when I'm dead, without too much dependency on siblings providing for them, though they all say they want to.

Everything here's a choice and living with the consequences of them, good and bad, which everyone knows. Mainly from the Dc's/DGc's POV, they aren't sacrificing anything that matters much to them, and are getting things that do, with the exception of one who would be a gaming/doomscrolling addict if let, but even they recognize once they're doing other things, they're just as happy.
We tap into other home ed families and a couple of school ed single parents, exchanging night 'minding' sleepovers etc, for things they wanted.

We don't have many of the things many families have, because all have discussed them and valued them lower than other things we do want and value higher, but there are individual expensive exceptions, that are highly valued by either one, or all. It's all choices at the end of the day.

Everyone finds their own way to pay for what they truly want, whether that's using school systems to free up a parent to do standard work, or not, if you think about it.

Toddlerteaplease · 28/09/2025 10:54

I met a child who is ‘homeschooled’. I suspect her schooling consists of sitting in front of an iPad. When she wasn’t growling at you, she spoke in an American accent.

Elleherd · 28/09/2025 10:57

@DontGoJasonWaterfalls We have a couple of saying s here;
'Never wrestle with a pig. You both end up muddy and only the pig enjoys it.'

And: 'Never play chess with a stool pigeon. You end up with half the pieces knocked over, and shit all over the board.'

BurntBroccoli · 28/09/2025 11:16

Fatiguedwithlife · 27/09/2025 09:05

And the word homeSCHOOLING really grates on anyone who’s actually home EDUCATED their child. It’s not school.

Doesn’t schooling just mean educating? E.g. scholarly article

GagMeWithASpoon · 28/09/2025 11:28

Nestingbirds · 28/09/2025 10:23

Are you sure it is a silver lining for your children? I would hate to be stuck at home in this situation, and I didn’t have the best experience at secondary school. Making friends, developing your own identity, having your own school community is immensely beneficial to dc even with less than perfect schools.

Your home environment sounds suffocating sorry.

All you know is that PP is disabled. From that you deduced “stuck at home” and “suffocating “. That’s your own prejudice at play , not necessarily reality.

Needlenardlenoo · 28/09/2025 11:54

sashh · 28/09/2025 09:09

I do think the government should set up some form of online school. They should look at the Australian 'school of the air' and the OU. This would allow children who are out of school to take classes their parents are unable to provide.

It would have made lockdown much better.

They don't need to - they already accredit a number of the existing ones. They make it challenging to get them paid for through EHCP though.

And I can see why! Suppose it took off? It'd potentially completely change education!

Elleherd · 28/09/2025 12:07

BurntBroccoli · 28/09/2025 11:16

Doesn’t schooling just mean educating? E.g. scholarly article

Home schooling is an actual type of education system where the school system is almost entirely replicated at home using mainly only materials used in schools. There is no requirement for depth and breath as long as exam questions can be answered. In some home schooling situations a school or LEA actually organizes, marks and is responsible for the work.
I gathered that during Covid many school education based families where forced to try and do this system.

Home education is an entirely different type of educational system, where the parent is entirely responsible for providing a suitable education for their child, which can be achieved in many very different ways but doesn't replicate school, even if exam syllabuses used by schools are being studied. Ie as I've mentioned in another post; a dc of mine studying physics IGCSE did most of their initial learning, experimenting and recording of the forces and motion component on a surf board in Cornwall. The 'river processes' component of geography was literally done in rivers "mucking about in (and out of) a boat, while learning to sail, and picnicking, and learning how to use ordinance survey maps to track down Oxbow lakes.

Elleherd · 28/09/2025 12:35

Needlenardlenoo · 28/09/2025 11:54

They don't need to - they already accredit a number of the existing ones. They make it challenging to get them paid for through EHCP though.

And I can see why! Suppose it took off? It'd potentially completely change education!

Where I am children in local authority care have to go to Online school for 25 hours a week from their care homes. But they don't get to go to one of the accredited ones. Instead there's a cheaper in house LEA provided option that is also offered to some EOTAS children through EHCP's.

Acquaintances children had to go into care when she became very ill and had to go into hospital. The educational standard was significantly lower than their generally quite low achieving school and the older one had to drop from six to four exam subjects. Two of three lost their school places as they where considered enrolled elsewhere.
They reported most kids in their virtual classroom where entirely disengaged and found the whole system and provision very depressing. One went to a normal online school afterwards, and found it a whole different world

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/09/2025 12:37

soupyspoon · 27/09/2025 07:25

This is a 'naice' MC site so most of the homeschoolers on here will perceive themselves a the 'right' type of homeschooler with all the 'right' reasons for doing so, such as horrific school experiences or even no school place.

But the reality is its the wild west of situations, no oversight of the child's welfare or education is in place. Im not sure why the legislation around it is so loose.

It’s probably loose because those middle class / even upper class people who do it have quite a powerful voice. And perhaps tighter legislation would affect some kinds of private schooling? Which I suppose is, in effect, collective home schooling, just of a very high standard.

cygnusgenie · 28/09/2025 12:58

verybighouseinthecountry · 27/09/2025 07:11

I homeschooled for many years but never came across families doing it for anti establishment reasons. Where are you that there's a "wave"? Since home ed groups went onto Facebook and other online platforms, I was very shocked at how bad some parents' very basic SPAG is. I mean the absolute basics of there/their/they're (not to mention 'thier'). One mum used to talk a lot about the 'tudors' that visited them, I assumed they were into historical reenactment, it took me ages to realize she meant 'tutors'. These of course are the ones joining the groups. The Travellers where I am remove their DC at the end of primary to 'home educate' and as far as I know they don't even look at a book after that.

Here in Ireland I can name a few well known religious fundamentalists who home school, and have not surpringly turned their offspring into religious fundamentalists also.

PersistentRain · 28/09/2025 13:00

Someone said the majority of HE are using tutors? Is that actually true or a MC view of it. i imabine a lot of HE couldn’t actually afford that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread