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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A wave of illiterate “home schooled” children

994 replies

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 06:58

Prepared to get torn apart, and I know many homeschool because the school environment isn’t right for their children (SEN, sensory issues - whatever else) and their needs aren’t met by school with a chronic lack of SEN placements and too much demand etc. I’m not naive to that. I also know some parents with adequate resource will ensure their children have a rounded education whilst being homeschooled.

But there seems to be a movement to homeschooling by people who are simply anti establishment with a point to prove. Their grammar and communication on social media tells me they’re not equipped to homeschool a child. Not least I think the socialisation and soft skills school provides are hugely important too. I suspect most of these parents either haven’t considered the benefits of school or hugely underestimated it, especially past primary are parents really equipped to teach ALL the subjects with sufficient skill if they lack the knowledge themselves? Are they not underestimating the skills and expertise of qualified teachers?

AIBU to think it’s really concerning? These are the next generation of our workforce and infrastructure. I personally think we are hugely privileged to live in a country with free education - I know it’s not perfect but I’m not convinced homeschooling is better for a vast majority.

OP posts:
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Leftrightmiddle · 27/09/2025 16:29

lochmaree · 27/09/2025 15:53

Yeah she did. I am pro home ed and can see the problems with mainstream school, but I don't understand why a parent would purposely avoid teaching anything to their child and also be so critical (robots, really?!) of going to school when it's working well for many (I acknowledge not all by a long way). It's like she is sad for kids that have to go to school. I would home ed if school didn't work out for my DC, but I would teach them and get tutors as necessary.

She probably saying this about schools as she sick of all the negativity and misconceptions around home Ed.
Also just because schools start teaching reading at 4 doesn't mean it's right for all children. Some children are ready earlier and some need more time before they have the concentration or will to learn to read. The pressure of books and having to read every night made my child hate reading and books she had previously enjoyed books.

They can read now but most of that is self taught and all school achieved is causing them trauma and made them believe they couldn't learn

RisingSunn · 27/09/2025 16:30

NImumconfused · 27/09/2025 16:25

In our case, the social anxiety, mental health issues and safeguarding failures were all caused by the school, and now we're left trying to pick up the pieces. I'd never have chosen to home ed, but my DD has been left in such a state that she's not capable of going to school and we're bankrupting ourselves paying for both education (one to one tutoring plus online courses) and therapy to try to help her.

School is not always the best or safest place for a child.

School is not always the best or safest place for a child.

I agree (especially the sexual harassment side of things in secondary...but that's another thread).

Leftrightmiddle · 27/09/2025 16:32

Somnambule · 27/09/2025 16:23

No evidence that there are crap home-edders? I've been home education-adjacent for quite a while, and sadly most of what I've witnessed has been pretty shit. My SIL is a case in point. I'm sure it can be done well if people have the time and resources, but it can also be done very badly.

Just like how school is very bad for many kids too then.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/09/2025 16:40

Somnambule · 27/09/2025 16:23

No evidence that there are crap home-edders? I've been home education-adjacent for quite a while, and sadly most of what I've witnessed has been pretty shit. My SIL is a case in point. I'm sure it can be done well if people have the time and resources, but it can also be done very badly.

"home education-adjacent", oh look, we've found an expert then 🙄

grinandslothit · 27/09/2025 16:41

I do think that home education can be done quite well

The only ones I know of is my sister and her 2 DC.

It's not a good situation they have become tablet children where they sit on their device all day. I saw this when I spent a couple weeks with them visiting. They have no friends. They don't go outside. They are rarely taken anywhere.

They both seem to know how to read but I don't know about their other skills

lochmaree · 27/09/2025 16:43

Leftrightmiddle · 27/09/2025 16:29

She probably saying this about schools as she sick of all the negativity and misconceptions around home Ed.
Also just because schools start teaching reading at 4 doesn't mean it's right for all children. Some children are ready earlier and some need more time before they have the concentration or will to learn to read. The pressure of books and having to read every night made my child hate reading and books she had previously enjoyed books.

They can read now but most of that is self taught and all school achieved is causing them trauma and made them believe they couldn't learn

That doesn't come from me though, I do understand the problems around schools and see the benefits of home ed. I also understand that 4 is probably too young for starting reading across the board, but for my DC so far it luckily hasn't been an issue, I just don't think it's as straightforward as saying it's downright bad to start learning to read at 4. I'm sorry it made your child hate reading, that must have been hard to see 😪 and clearly that's a disadvantage of the school led reading programme.

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 16:47

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/09/2025 16:40

"home education-adjacent", oh look, we've found an expert then 🙄

I think I might be home education-adjacent. We home educate the extra stuff around school. Supplementing the teachers.

NImumconfused · 27/09/2025 16:58

orangejacketlamp · 27/09/2025 10:08

when you look at the crux of the homeschool movement and compare it with the astonishing influx of SEN children it’s easy to see that this isn’t an education issue it’s a parenting issue. The parents that homeschool are the parents who don’t parent, they are their kids best friends. Never want to upset them, never want them to do something uncomfortable even once. They have children with zero adaptability, zero resilience and zero life experience. So when they go into a formal setting like school the children start with their “SEN” symptoms and can’t cope. it’s a parenting issue. but no one wants to talk about it. Just blame school, blame the NHS, blame the government.

This is utter nonsense. When my DD was in school, every report that came home, every parent teacher meeting I went to, they said she was wonderful - a pleasure to teach, etc. She was bright, always read to at home, her dad and I are well educated and value education. She passed her 11plus and got a grammar school place. In fact, she was masking really heavily, and eventually burnt out in the transition to secondary. The school offered nothing, the education authority offered nothing. Stop blaming the parents for everything when the reality is for SEN children, the system is largely incapable of meeting their needs.

Orwelly · 27/09/2025 17:02

NettleandBramble · 27/09/2025 16:19

I want to add to this that they often end up attaining GCSEs that are less often available in school, marine science, psychology and classical civilization being popular examples.

That's a good point. My DC did the 'usual' GCSE's, but also chose from a range of subjects that they were interested in. They did Marine Science, Classics and Latin as additional exam subjects, which was terrific for them. One has gone on to do Classical Civilisations at A Level in college.

NImumconfused · 27/09/2025 17:22

Horsie · 27/09/2025 12:17

I think homeschooling is absolutely awful and I'm really amazed that it's legal. You do hear of cases where the parents and child are very bright and they get strings of As at both GCSE and A-Level, but I don't think that's the norm. How many more are going without a decent education and socialisation? I agree completely with a PP who said they are surprised that parents think they can replace multiple degrees, PGCE, and years of teaching experience.

I think if homeschooled children don't reach the standard in GCSE - I think it's 5 passes A-C including English and maths - then they should be given a choice of a fine or jail time, because I think denying a child a decent education is a crime.

About a third of kids leave school without 5 GCSE passes - would you be fining or jailing all their teachers too?

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 27/09/2025 17:34

Orwelly · 27/09/2025 17:02

That's a good point. My DC did the 'usual' GCSE's, but also chose from a range of subjects that they were interested in. They did Marine Science, Classics and Latin as additional exam subjects, which was terrific for them. One has gone on to do Classical Civilisations at A Level in college.

This is a huge plus for us. I remember being gutted that I couldn't do both French and History for GCSE because they were in the same "group" for timetabling. We avoid that totally with home ed - DD is currently working on Sociology and Environmental Management as her first GCSEs.

rambutanparty · 27/09/2025 17:34

I can only comment on my situation as a forced home schooler/educator. My older child went through the school system beautifully, they are at uni and very successful. My youngest is from my highly successful second husband, I’m sure he (DH) would get a diagnosis these days but in previous more flexible schools it was not an issue. Our child however was ejected from his independent school at age 5, the state provision following was extremely poor and grouped him with deeply abused and traumatised children as his challenging behaviour was classed as the same as theirs. I’m forced to home educate and am trying my best, a year on I’m finding my feet and he’s thriving. We don’t fit in with home educators as we are more home school, I hope our child might go back into formal education, I’m trying to keep that option open. As a neurodiverse child the system disables him but I’m educating him to be as successful as his father and I. We are rejecting and disabling a generation of children who just need a different system. One that champions them but does not currently exist. We are very lucky I have the time and finances to provide him with everything we can, I’m learning the expertise as I go!

Somnambule · 27/09/2025 17:37

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/09/2025 16:40

"home education-adjacent", oh look, we've found an expert then 🙄

No, I'm not claiming that. I was responding to a poster saying there's "no evidence" that home education is sometimes poor. Of course it is, just like some schools are sub-standard. But there's a system of checks and balances to maintain standards in school (albeit a flawed one), yet home-edders get outraged at the suggestion that their children's quality of education should also be monitored. There are a scary number of children being denied their right to an education - I've met quite a few of them.

RampantIvy · 27/09/2025 17:43

Goodness, there are some ridiculous and ill thought out knee jerk comments on here.
I didn't home educate because a) I didn't want to and b) I didn't need to.

I posted this earlier, but I think it is worth repeating - No one way is perfect. Some children don't suit school and some parents shouldn't "educate" their own children.

Orwelly · 27/09/2025 17:54

RampantIvy · 27/09/2025 17:43

Goodness, there are some ridiculous and ill thought out knee jerk comments on here.
I didn't home educate because a) I didn't want to and b) I didn't need to.

I posted this earlier, but I think it is worth repeating - No one way is perfect. Some children don't suit school and some parents shouldn't "educate" their own children.

Yes. I'm 'against' children getting an education that doesn't suit their aptitude, abilities or needs in school, or at home.

There are dreadful teachers in excellent schools and fantastic teachers in sub-standard schools. There are brilliant home educators providing an enriched, broad, rewarding education for their children that fires them out in the world ready to thrive, and home educators who shouldn't be home educating at all. And, of course, all that's in between.

I think home education can be a fantastic thing, but I'm hugely in favour of a register and compulsory local authority engagement for home ed families.

Fern95 · 27/09/2025 18:01

Home educators generally behave as learning facilitators not teachers. We guide, encourage and monitor progress. We provide materials, trips, work books, opportunities etc. I have never met a home ed parent who believes they are better or more superior to a school teacher. Some of my friends who home ed are teachers. We don't need to learn about behaviour management in a classroom or how to make a subject interesting for 28 children who all have different learning styles to educate our own child. We are not teachers and we aren't trying to be!!

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 27/09/2025 18:10

Horsie · 27/09/2025 12:59

Your DBIL is atypical, and your anecdote isn't meaningful in terms of whether formal education is a good thing or not. What you describe is absolutely not the fate of most people who went to uni and got a first-class degree. Whatever he's being held back by, it's not being highly educated.

She was describing the young man with ASD she knows, who hasn’t achieved despite being bright. Hers was also an anecdote. I described the young man I know with ASD. Also hasn’t achieved, despite staying with formal education.

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 18:24

RampantIvy · 27/09/2025 17:43

Goodness, there are some ridiculous and ill thought out knee jerk comments on here.
I didn't home educate because a) I didn't want to and b) I didn't need to.

I posted this earlier, but I think it is worth repeating - No one way is perfect. Some children don't suit school and some parents shouldn't "educate" their own children.

Basically this. For every story of an illiterate child being home edded , you’ll have just as many finishing formal schooling with no GCSEs. For every child that has been harmed in some way (especially emotionally or mentally) by home ed, you’ll have just as many being harmed in a formal school environment. Including children being seriously injured, or attempting to take their own life and so on.

What we need is for schools to be better. What we need is the government to actually give a shit about children (firstly) and their education. What we need is for schools to actually be a viable, safe alternative available to all children. Then (or in conjunction with) we can look at home education regulations and possibly a more structured (but descriptive, not prescriptive) framework.

What I find highly ironic is that on any thread about issues (genuine or otherwise) with schools, every other comment is “home school then!”.

RubySquid · 27/09/2025 18:44

AbbeyGrange · 27/09/2025 14:52

Well good for you but not everyone is like that...some kids will need the structure of routine and uniform

Edited

They can join the forces cadets for that lol

MagicLoop · 27/09/2025 19:01

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 18:24

Basically this. For every story of an illiterate child being home edded , you’ll have just as many finishing formal schooling with no GCSEs. For every child that has been harmed in some way (especially emotionally or mentally) by home ed, you’ll have just as many being harmed in a formal school environment. Including children being seriously injured, or attempting to take their own life and so on.

What we need is for schools to be better. What we need is the government to actually give a shit about children (firstly) and their education. What we need is for schools to actually be a viable, safe alternative available to all children. Then (or in conjunction with) we can look at home education regulations and possibly a more structured (but descriptive, not prescriptive) framework.

What I find highly ironic is that on any thread about issues (genuine or otherwise) with schools, every other comment is “home school then!”.

It is possible to recognise the failings of many schools, to acknowledge that for some children to thrive they must be taken out of school, to believe that there are lots of home-educators doing a fantastic job and still be concerned that there are almost certainly lots of children being withdrawn from school for either unwise or deliberately neglectful reasons and that this is not being properly checked up on.

FellowSuffereroftheAbsurd · 27/09/2025 19:44

All forms of education have their pros and cons, benefits and risks. As many have said, I don't think much in our current system is better for the vast majority and yes, that is concerning.

I think a lot in home education in the UK has changed since 2020 - not the least of all being how many now call it homeschooling, which previously in the UK meant when the LA was still involved, Elective Home Education when they are not.

Part of that change I think is more parents withdrawing over issues with schools that would have been resolved differently before - both because parents are withdrawing faster and because schools have figured out if they just send out a letter about how they don't approve of home education and ask for a meeting that will almost always put an already frustrated parent's back up and be ignored, they can "prove" they're not off-rolling, they're not avoiding part-time schooling or other options that many schools hate as it's a lot more paperwork (for example - they have to show safeguarding for the entire school day even when those students aren't there) but do have as options when needed and really pushed by parents and outside professionals.

My kids have been home educated, school educated, and done part-time school and home. They all have additional needs and when they were little, we lived in a place that had very poor education outcomes and no support for their needs.

I home educated for a couple decades and have absolutely known people who did it for anti-establishment reason or just because they hated their secondary school. I've known the so-called mythical home educators who not only rely on their kids to teach themselves, but brag about it. I've met the ones who complain and encourage their kid to leave college because it requires require maths and English - I think the worst was being told that his kid didn't needs maths, she needs science.

The thing is, these types don't tend to be in structured home education groups, at least not for long. They carry that attitude with them and tend to leave groups quickly if it doesn't completely bend to them and their kids. They can be loud in some online spaces, especially around not cooperating with the LA, but they're not who most are going to see offline. They aren't the ones getting tutors and grouping together with others. I can see why some home educators who haven't been in those spaces might never have to deal with them and see them more as a boogey monster used against us.

I'm not in an area where there are many home educating parents getting tutors or paying for many special GCSEs - we haven't had any centres that will take private candidates in many years, the last ones closed well before COVID and that shrunk things down further. I've done the private GCSEs with my oldest - it's expensive and required us to travel to a much larger city, I'm glad we only did it for one and he wasn't one like many I know who due to COVID had theirs cancelled (a lot of home educating families had issues with that).

I've also been in the conversations schools have had about parents withdrawing, both the dismissive ones where they go on about how they'd never want to spend that much time with their kids and the ones where they've had to get education welfare and social services involved for the wellbeing of the child. I've been in meetings with our local head of Education Welfare when she called all home educating parents arrogant and basically called all home educating parents idiots as she mockingly read aloud extracts from emails which were literally parents asking for help - they had obviously been confused likely by online rhetoric about the difference between Education Otherwise Than at School - what we used to call home schooling where the LA gives support which is a rarely but possible help for some child - and Elective Home Education, and this seemed to amuse those in power. There is a divide that there is little desire from either side to repair.

While I support parents being able to register for home education in the same way we can register for schools, I understand why some parents are very untrusting of the system as it is and also why some don't see the benefit of bothering. I was a very cooperative home educator, did the visits, did extensive reports on curriculum, and after a while, all I got was silence. I spent the last 8ish years as a home educator with no contact with the LA. They were useful when someone tried to report us for home educating - they had the reports and the boxes ticked - but other than that, it was meaningless.

The more uproar there is against home ed, the more clamp downs the government try to bring in which affects ALL home educators, not just the few who take advantage of the system.

Try is the operative word there, and really I think the regular so-called consultations they do every few years is more to look like they care than anything else. The law that parents are responsible for education is there for a reason that very much benefits any government. They don't want that responsibility.

There has not been any change to the laws around home education in decades, and no sign it's going to be.

She probably saying this about schools as she sick of all the negativity and m
misconceptions around home Ed.

Yeah, there was similar reasoning used during the Badman report times when there were home educators who put out fake news reports that the government wanted to intimate checks on our kids and similar to try to frighten parents in joining them in the protests, forgetting the kids they were terrifying in the process. It was pretty unforgiveable to me.

FishersGate · 27/09/2025 19:48

The latest trend of influencers 'home schooling ' their children to avoid court fines for taking their kids on holiday. Seen it loads recently. Set up for generational failure

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 20:29

MagicLoop · 27/09/2025 19:01

It is possible to recognise the failings of many schools, to acknowledge that for some children to thrive they must be taken out of school, to believe that there are lots of home-educators doing a fantastic job and still be concerned that there are almost certainly lots of children being withdrawn from school for either unwise or deliberately neglectful reasons and that this is not being properly checked up on.

I’ve acknowledged that many times in the thread. I even stated that I would like more oversight . However, how can a LA push for a return to school order and be successful when they were unwilling unable to provide a suitable environment to begin with , and that’s why that child is home educated to begin with? More importantly, would they even bother? It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation, and there’s no real will or push for change when it comes to EHE tbh, otherwise it would’ve happened already. Or legal power would’ve been awarded to begin with . However , having suitable placements for children would fix some of this, purely by cutting numbers. More kids in school and less casework /resources needed to keep track of the rest.

Mumofsend · 27/09/2025 21:25

The other thing that a lot possibly don't consider is that those who are able to discuss and chat about home ed in forums like this or on Facebook generally aren't the ones we worry about. We have a not insignificant number of home educating parents who we can only communicate with via phone call or in person because they are completely illiterate in terms of reading and can't even use tech well enough to access emails. They haven't got the cognitive ability or resources to hire tutors or plan social opportunities.

We also have a not insignificant number of "home educating" parents who have deregistered their children because school has raised sincere safeguarding concerns. They deregister and eyes on that child all but disappear.

My mind was blown when I started my job as to me this was incomprehensible until I was confronted with it regularly.

TheTallgiraffe · 27/09/2025 21:28

Somnambule · 27/09/2025 16:23

No evidence that there are crap home-edders? I've been home education-adjacent for quite a while, and sadly most of what I've witnessed has been pretty shit. My SIL is a case in point. I'm sure it can be done well if people have the time and resources, but it can also be done very badly.

No, that there are 'lots and lots" of crap home educators.