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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

We can’t house our friends belongings anymore

59 replies

cantseemyglasses · 26/09/2025 14:23

We have some friends who through no fault of their own found themselves homeless.
The LL sold up and they couldn’t find anything else they could afford privately so the council put them in temporary accommodation.

They asked us if they could store some of their belongings in our garage which we agreed but there was so much it ended up going in the loft as well and then the remainder in the bottom of our wardrobe.

I have no space left, I’m trying to get Christmas shopping started for the kids and have nowhere to put anything, our bedroom is full of boxes of their stuff.

In recent weeks they’ve been offered a place and turned it down which in turn meant they had to leave emergency accommodation and were homeless all over again so now they’re staying in a hotel room and we are still storing their things.

I sympathised with their situation to begin with especially with 2 children but can’t help thinking they’ve brought this about themselves now as they were offered accommodation by the council and refused it and now I’d quite like my house back.
AIBU to say I’m sorry we’ve done our best, it’s been over a year and we just can’t have all your things here any longer? Or should I just be grateful we’re in a better situation than them and keep storing it for however long they need us to?

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 27/09/2025 08:56

My DD is back living with me after uni.

her “spare” stuff is in a storage unit.

they aren’t expensive.

starfishmummy · 27/09/2025 09:45

" ...there was a lot of damage caused by damp & mildew, & most of the stuff ended up being chucked..."

We stored stuff for a family member in our garage for a couple of months which turned in to several years. Luckily not in the way. We'd warned then that the garage was damp and they'd wrapped stuff up but even so most of it ended up in a skip when they came back for it.

MimiGC · 27/09/2025 11:01

It’s completely reasonable for you to want their stuff taken away. But if it was me, I wouldn’t say I wanted the space to store Xmas gifts, as that may be rubbing salt in the wound for people who sound like they’re on their uppers.

CutiePieOk · 27/09/2025 11:06

tell them they have one month to find storage and move stuff out. You can't do it long term and they should appreciate what they had.

Peoplemakemesigh · 27/09/2025 13:07

The problem with "cheap" storage will be that they can't afford it.

If they've got a limited budget for renting, so limited they can't find anything and have gone down (albeit they failed to stick to and been discharged from) the homeless route for a council house, they're probably looking for something to rent that's within the Housing Costs element of UC. There will be almost nothing and what there is will be shite in some way or other and fiercely fought after by hundreds of others in the same situation as well as those not on benefits who just want cheapest rent, meaning landlords can take their pick.

The only way they can get a better property would be by using some of the rest of their UC/wages to top up the rent, renting somewhere with less bedrooms than the number of bedrooms they need and have been allocated costs for, or getting a council house that's in a good state of repair. They have turned down the latter and probably won't accept either of the former.

If they had £100/month for a storage unit they could instead put that £100 towards their rental budget, but they either can't spare the money or won't on principle.

Now they're living in a hotel. Which is going to be costing them a lot more than the temporary housing the council gave them under the homelessness scheme.they were probably in a flat if they've got DC and felt comfortable to remain there, shown by turning down a permanent house for being "too small". Now by making themselves voluntarily homeless they've been kicked out of that accommodation.

Under the scheme, whatever temporary housing they give you, including B&B, the cost is paid by UC/HB however high it is, because it's not your choice to live there, the council has placed you there. Now they're voluntarily homeless they may only be receiving the standard amount of housing costs in benefits and having to pay the extra for the hotel themselves because they've caused this situation themselves. They could have been permanently housed somewhere the rent would not have exceeded the allocated housing costs, but they turned it down. The government is under no obligation to continue giving them extra funds to support their lifestyle choices (a hotel). Even if, because of the children, the council hasn't actually kicked them out onto the streets to fend for themselves. They were apparently broke before, they're even more broke now.

This is why giving them a deadline is pointless. They'll either come collect with an ultimatum or they won't. Giving them a deadline won't change that, it just delays the inevitable and lessens the chance they'll collect because it gives them time to decide not to bother. They don't need a month to sort out a storage unit, they can sort one out in an hour if they're going to do it. If they're going to beg space off another friend they can do that in a day of contacting everyone and are more likely to be successful with that if they can claim it's an emergency and their stuff has been been thrown out to the pavement/lawn. Give them a month and they'll either do absolutely nothing at all or they'll do whatever they could have done today, in a few hours on the last day.

The friendship is over, there's no saving it no matter what you do. Piss takers are only friends with people who allow them to do it. They may remain low grade friends with people with strong boundaries just in case they get to take the piss in the future, but the one thing they won't ever tolerate is people previously without sufficient boundaries suddenly getting some and putting their foot down with them.

HelplessSoul · 27/09/2025 13:09

I'd give them 24 hours to collect their stuff - and if they do not, then you should turf it all out onto the fucking street.

They arent your friends - they are users/abusers/arseholes.

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:22

I'd give them 24 hours to collect their stuff - and if they do not, then you should turf it all out onto the fucking street. This wouldn't be decent at all. Only an absolute arse would agree to store things, let a year go by, then turn into a hard-line bastard. The family are living in a hotel.

Yes, the op should start the ball rolling, but doesn't have to be a monster about it. A month's notice would be standard, two months would be a bit easier on them.

InBedBy10 · 27/09/2025 16:05

Don't make any excuses to them about Christmas etc just tell them that it's been over a year and you want your house back. Honestly, you've done more than most would. Surely they have some family who could help them store stuff? Even if they dont, that's not your problem.

Give them 2 weeks to get it out. Be prepared for the fallout, though. My mam stored my brother in laws broke down van in her garden for 4yrs. When she finally asked him to move it, my sister fell out with her. I had to have words with my DSis and point out what cfs they've been. No good deed goes unpunished.

fluffiphlox · 27/09/2025 16:09

I think I would say they have two weeks to put it into storage, after which it will be going on eBay. They are taking advantage of your kindness - a year indeed!

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