Kids missed 3wks school, council taking me to court!

[Questionairballoon]

Hi all,

I am very unsure about what to do.

DC aged 6 and 8. I took them on holiday this summer. missed the last 3 weeks of school (July 2025).

For context, their attendance is always good. Only time they ever miss school is when poorly. They enjoy going. Last time we took them on holiday they were 3 and 5 and they missed maybe 2 weeks of nursery/school.

Before we left this time, I emailed the head teacher and spoke with the staff partly to apologise and also to find out what they might miss for the last 3 weeks so I could cover with them if needed. For what it’s worth, both kids do well in school. Teachers wished us happy hols and we left on a positive note.

The holiday was 2 weeks in Europe and 2 weeks in America. They had some fantastic experiences and got to meet relatives who live abroad. We were back in August, they had almost a month to recoup and then back to school business as usual!

We expected a fine but got nothing. This week, I’ve received a court order telling me to expect paperwork where I’ll be “pleading guilty or not guilty”.

I’m gobsmacked tbh. Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice at all? I don’t even know what to say!

No. All unauthorised absences over 10 days must be reported - it’s a legal obligation. Schools, in a very small number of circumstances, can authorise an absence which wouldn't get reported, but generally holidays don’t fall under any of these exceptional circumstances. Schools get a fucking hard time from ofsted for absence and aren’t in the habit of giving some parents a free pass - just because.

So? It’s not down to the quality o the break. You took your kids out for 3 weeks and you’re surprised by this? If you really are surprised I am quite concerned, as it’s screamingly obvious this was going to be the outcome.

Better plead guilty because you are, ‘it’s was a really cool trip and they met some relatives’ is not a défense in law.

this is the only way of having a holiday they can afford.

4 weeks overseas was all they could afford? Come on now! Plenty of people I know had to stick to camping in the UK because that is what they could afford.

As people have said, this is why the process is what it is - too many people dont seem to feel the rules about school attendance dont apply to them.

You paid for an online tutor for your very young children for the entirety of the holiday… and it wasn’t just language.

What other subjects did you get a twice weekly tutor for your young children for? Surprising given you were a teacher and they’re so young

You are a qualified teacher - Why does this matter?

• Higher expectation of awareness: As a former educator, she would be presumed to understand the legal framework around school attendance, including the requirement to seek permission for term-time absences.
• Reduced credibility of ignorance: Claiming she didn’t know the rules is unlikely to hold weight. Magistrates may interpret her actions as knowingly disregarding the law.
• Potential aggravating factor: While not automatically punitive, her background could be seen as a reason she should have set a better example—especially if the absence was prolonged and unauthorised.
• If you end up with a criminal record and want to go back into teaching - you may have a hard time convincing them that you follow the rules!

But It’s Not All Bad

If she presents herself respectfully, explains her reasoning, and shows that the children are otherwise well cared for and achieving academically, the court may still show leniency—especially if this is a first offence and there’s no pattern of poor attendance. But you won't get away lightly again.

Ultimately, the court’s focus will be on the impact on the children’s education, the parent’s intent, and whether the absence was avoidable or justified. Her professional background adds context, but it doesn’t guarantee a harsher penalty—it just raises the bar for her defence.

I cannot imagine that the school would have given that impression, it sounds irresponsible in the extreme.

I am head of Year 7 in a secondary. Authorising a three week jolly? Implying that I was cool with kids missing three weeks? Absolutely not!

I agree with this. Surely op could have visited the European relatives this year and saved more to visit the American relatives next year. You cannot jet off for 4 weeks (at least 2 destinations) and claim you’re too poor to go in the holidays.

But you understand it was your mistake, yes? So it's you that has put your future in jeopardy? I realise you didn't do it on purpose to mess things up, but you do need to take accountability and stop being arsey to people saying wtf are you thinking.

Better plead guilty because you are, ‘it’s was a really cool trip and they met some relatives’ is not a défense in law

Yep. It's the defense of entitled moneyed people.

How much more do people expect teachers to do??? Of course teachers are responsible for flagging signs of neglect, abuse, poor nutrition, SEN, health concerns, etc and they do, because those are issues that can present within the classroom. But pursuing parents for absenteeism is not within a teacher's remit. Every class register is a computerised legal record of attendance, with the data being sent daily to the LEA. So, when there is regular absenteeism or an irregular prolonged absence like OP's three-week holiday, it's the LEA's system that picks it up and it's up to them to pursue action against parents who don't send their kids to school for whatever reason.

Yes love, I’m very posh!

I mentioned it before, I am actually very big on education. My youngest had learnt their phonics before they even started nursery.

I come from a family where education is important and I have always followed that principle, but I don’t understand why a parent gets a criminal record for missing 3 weeks at the end of the school year

I can be arsey if people think kicking someone when they’re down and mocking me when I’ve taken responsibility but am simply asking for advixe

they can honestly do one

I just googled and apparently the Supreme Court ruled a while ago that holidays during term time are not considered reasonable excuses. Unless in extreme circumstances like a bereavement.

So it looks like you’re going to end up with a criminal conviction OP.

It does seem very unfair because local authorities do have other non-criminal penalties at their disposal that the could impose before they take it down the court route. I wonder why they went straight to nuclear? If this is genuinely your first offence then you must be very unlucky to have such a Draconian local
authority. In another area you may have got away with a parenting order or a small fine and no criminal record.

you were a teacher
and yet you got an online twice a week tutor for your very young children (eldest is 6?). For what subjects?

Yes OP, we know you’re very “big on education”. The council are keen to hear more about how big on education you are

This happened to me but we didn’t miss as much as 3 weeks. Have you called anyone? I called as soon as we got the letter and I was very panicked as my husband would loose his job if he had a criminal record. They said a fine was sent (it definitely didn’t arrive at my house or I would have paid it immediately) and because I didn’t respond we received the court letter. He said don’t worry and I just had to pay a higher fine then and there and it was all done and forgotten after the phone call.

Genuinely, what advice are you looking for? You messed up big time, there's not really much you can do apart from keep your fingers crossed - and from what people have said, you're not likely to go to prison.

But did you really not know about the change in rules? All of my parent friends talked about it for months when it all changed. I find it baffling that you apparently didn't know.

Spend a week in a classroom shadowing a teacher and then come back to say whether you still agree that the individual rights of every child and family should trump the outcomes of the rest of the class.

Im very sorry OP, for the situation and for people here not being very understanding. Clearly, those who have their close extended family living close by or maybe just don’t have close extended family ties, don’t understand you. I am from another European country, where family ties and networks like with grandparents are very important, and I do understand your situation very well. I think the policy is a bit discriminatory for children whose grandparents live overseas. Especially as you sound reasonable and discussed this with the teachers as well. The one kind of approach and policy doesn’t suit all families.

So it’s alright for you to take long holidays but not for someone much less middle class to miss a week to go to Benidorm, cause you’re educated, right?

Same rules for everyone.

4 weeks overseas was all they could afford? Come on now! Plenty of people I know had to stick to camping in the UK because that is what they could afford

We mustn't forget that many of our friends can't afford anything at all.
My holiday was visiting elderly mother in law in Devon. Free at the point of use but utterly not a holiday. Not at all. Just more caring duties.

I'm smiling to myself now. Because it is all so utterly shit but framed to me as a holiday :)

I remember my parents discussing taking the 3 of us kids out of school the last half of the day on Friday one time.
Not doing - merely talking about it.
It would’ve added up to maybe 3 hours.
I guess one of us kids went to school and about it, because the “attendance lady” paid my mum a visit.
I was little - maybe 6 or 7, but I remember watching Mum - and thinking how lucky I was that I wasn’t the one in the firing line.
Mum was like a boiling pot of water - any moment ready to boil over, and she calmly told Miss Ginley that IF AND WHEN SHE DECIDED TO TAKE HER CHILDREN OUT OF SCHOOL, SHE’D GIVE HER A CALL.
I remember that old lady had white hair and had never married and had never had children of her own, and Mum was FURIOUS that someone like that was policing parents and kids.
We didn’t go anywhere that weekend - but it had nothing to do with that old lady’s pre-emptive strike.
And looking back, I’m really proud of my mum.
Mum was a mama bear. ROAR lol

I am head of Year 7 in a secondary. Authorising a three week jolly? Implying that I was cool with kids missing three weeks? Absolutely not!*

My neighbour is a headteacher. She says the same.

I remember that old lady had white hair and had never married and had never had children of her own, and Mum was FURIOUS that someone like that was policing parents and kids.

Ah yes, because people involved in education or child welfare must have children to have legitimate concerns.

Your mother was not a 'mama bear.' She was pretty disgusting to say something like that and you're pretty vile for finding it funny.

You didn't like being a teacher so you're going to be a social worker 😂😂😂😂