When friends make your birthday party about them?

[Thecuddlymeoow]

Idk if this falls on this but i said yes for my friend to bring her best friend guy because not gonna lie hes pretty funny guy even tough it only said «invites only». Her friend dosen’t live in the same state so she said it be a suprise for her partner that her guy bestfriend will be joining my birtdhay party that her partner don’t know. (they are besties now). My tought was like um ok sure? But im not doing anything extra because this is my birtdhay celebration not about her and her guy friend even if hes a lovley guy. Should i ask her about what surprise? Since i really don’t know what she ment with that.

What?

Are you 12?

Christ on a bike! What’s wrong with mumsnet these days. So many illiterate posters!

@aperollingintotheweekend I was asking a question? Isn’t that allowed?

@ilovepixie and you don’t need to answer if you don’t like the thread is it that hard?

This makes zero sense

It's not a case of not liking a thread, more a case of not understanding what on earth it is all about.😖

@Nourishinghandcream If my friend is trying to make my celebration into a surprise party for her partner

That isn’t what your badly spelled, punctuation free, nonsensical text speak OP says. If you’re genuinely looking for advice and opinions, please ensure your post makes sense first.

i think if I’m picking this up correctly, the surprise is that her partner doesn’t know the guy friend is coming so it will be a surprise to see him. Which doesn’t mean it’s a surprise party for him

Again, what?

Are you worried that the two men involved will make your birthday about their meet up?
Surely they will just be pleased to see each other and have a catch up . Would your best friends bloke be that much of a main player at your party?
How many people are going in total?

So you mate wants to bring her best male friend to your party?

Yes this is what I understood too. That the “bestie” will be there so that’s a nice surprise

Are you sure she didn’t mean it will be a surprise for her partner that her guy best friend is going and not that she is trying to hijack the party?

No clue as i didn't understand a word of that, but my intuition says, go for the surprise

So your friend is sort of highjacking your birthday as a surprise first meeting between her partner and her best friend? I'd let her crack on as I can't imagine anyone else will care about her situation whereas they will all be there to celebrate you! 🎂🎂🎂

Agree. It's just having a nice surprise guest.

I throw a birthday party because it's my birthday, but that doesn't mean the whole event is about me - it's mostly about the opportunity to get together - and for me to open the odd present! But I don't spend the time focussed on the fact it's my birthday TBH.

Thats a shocking statement!! There are many who don't have great literacy skills/dyslexia and such. Do they not deserve advice?
Why don't you campaign mn to ban these people if it bothers you so, or better still bypass the post without comment

Font bother commenting if you don't get gist

OP, if you write coherently & intelligibly using a form of language resembling standard English, you are more likely to get sensible replies.

If all that's happening is your friends Bf is going to get a nice surprise when funny out of state guy turns up unexpectedly, I can't see it impacting your birthday much surely? Are there loads of other guests, or is it small and you're worried they'll be talking to each other all the time and sidelining you?

Font bother? Comic sans? Times New? You know what? Font bother love.

Does your friend just mean that the ‘surprise’ will be that the guypal will be there? Or is she planning something extra, like maybe the guy jumps out of a giant cake or there’s a big reveal? I’d probably ask her not to plan anything like that, but talk to her to find out what she's thinking.

This is what I thought. How many are going to your party @Thecuddlymeoow? If it’s just a few, I’d tell her to let her partner know before the party. If there are a fair few, no one will notice, and you’ll have plenty of other people to talk to.

@knottywig it really depends about 9-10 people. My friend is not the best in explaining things lol. Thats why i didn’t even know what she meant. It be a different thing if her partner knew before coming to the party or the same day but, idk what she want to have to do it on my birtdhay since its not a suprise party. They don’t know the others to well either.

oh if i forgot to say her partner and her bestfriend are really good friends with each other, so is not a first time meeting more in like «suprise im here!»

I’d be tempted to talk to your friend and ask her what exactly she meant and keep asking/ pushing until she explains it properly. If it’s something you don’t like, then tell her that you don’t want her to do it at your birthday and you had hoped your birthday would be about you and not about her and her friend. Just get her to be clear, or you be clear about your boundaries.