Dentist said he'd report me

[Shmee1988]

So, my son is 13, he has adhd and suspected autism (awaiting assessment). Unfortunately his adult teeth have not grown straight at all. Some are almost twisted in his mouth and some have erupted on top of others. He was referred to an orthodontist 3 years ago. The wait list for NHS treatment is loooong and he finally had his first appointment yesterday. He is not thrilled at the prospect of braces but after alot of discussion he has realised its important and ideal to get it all done whilst hes still at school when some of his peers will also have them. The orthodontist did all of the Xrays and said he needs braces and qualifies for this on the NHS. He then turned to my son and said 'would you like braces?' to which my DS replied 'no'. The orthodontist then said he woukd need to see us again in 2 years time as my DS doesn't want braces so he wont fit them. I asked to have a private word with him and explained that part of DS sen is that he is very literal and that when he asked him if he would LIKE braces, he answered the question literally as if he was being asked if he would like to have to have braces and that he was not refusing treatment. He didn't care and told me that I need to start the referral process all over again and that it would be almost 5 years before he can get them fitted on the NHS due to the wait time. I asked him if I could have another word with DS so that son could explain he wasnt saying he wouldn't have them and he said no. He then went on to say that if I bought my son back and he still said he wouldn't like braces, he will report me. I thanked him for his time and left but I was so upset. Ds was upset and now that upset had turned to anger. Is he suggesting that advocating for a child to receive necessary treatment is akin to abuse if the child is anxious about it? Aren't all kids anxious about braces? I want to take this further and complain. Especially as my son will be almost an adult by the time his next appointment comes around. Opinions please? Thanks in advance.

This dentist sounds very much like the one I took my son to around 6 years ago. He was so rude. I complained to the practice manager and ended up seeing someone else, ds eventually got his braces and this dentist left to go somewhere else in the UK.

I since discovered many other patients had raised complaints over this guy.

Don't let it lie, complain to the manager.

No, it was the dentist that interrupted me when I was having a conversation with my DS. He interrupted me, not my ds

No life. He will need to wear retainers for life. Either a fixed retainer which creates additional oral hygeine or a removable retainer which he will need to wear every night. Obviously clean and replace as necessary

Is the mother really going to be picking bits of food out her sons braces or using an interdental brush every night between his back molars?

Apologies. You are quite right. I'll wind my neck in.

@Shmee1988 I would absolutely make a formal complaint, and explain how the Dentist failed to recognise your DS's additional needs, he also failed to explain the procedure, and outcome, in order for your son to even attempt to make a decision. As you said, your son took his "would you like braces", as a literal question based on the "like". I mean, who the fuck would "like" braces? My daughter, also suspected autism would have taken his question the same why your son did as she takes everything literally. I hope you get a decent response to a formal complaint about this. It sounds like the dentist made no effort to explain any procedures or outcomes to your DS to even attempt to get informed consent.

This is an interesting one. Dentists have got to receive informed consent from the actual patient to fit braces.

You say he doesn’t have Gillick competence, but that really is only relevant when the treatment being discussed is life saving or has serious medical benefit.

Braces are not even medically necessary, so Gillick isn’t relevant. It sounds like you were trying to supersede your son’s decision- no dentist can fit braces in those circumstances.

OK, but that wasn't clear to me.

Dentist is an absolute twat and knew exactly what he was doing.

Formal complaint and you need to insist upon an immediate referral to an orthodontist that is ND and child friendly.

A rather uncomfortable young women's health professional (I don't know what sort exactly) asked my sister "would you like a trans vaginal ultrasound?".

We laugh....I mean saying "yes" looks a bit keen, saying "no" means declining the check. She was fine for him to go ahead, but the question would have been better worded as "I'd like to do a trans vaginal ultrasound, are you OK for me to go ahead with that?"

I’m so sorry, that must have felt terrible, like you’ve somehow done something wrong. You have done nothing but want the best for your son.
My son is the same age and had to have a brace to fix his underbite. At that age they’re self conscious- of course they don’t want one but it’s in their best interests. He’s not old enough to make adult decisions and right now that’s your job. What an absolute twat he is.
Report him!

Gosh this fills me with dread, at her last dental appointment a few weeks back my 9 year old was told she would need braces to straighten her teeth, and put on the referral list . Was told its around 2 years to be seen for nhs treatment.private braces ate 3-6 grand!
My daughter doesnt want braces but weve had the conversation that it will benefit the way her teeth look in the future and its best to get them while shes young .it will be worth it for her
Im sure if someone asked if she wanted braces she would say no
Im sure any kid would

Why will she have to?

Are insinuating kids with SEN and ND that voice things very literally are somehow less capable as regards aftercare and should miss out on NHS treatment because it’s harder for them?

Most kids need prompting and support with after are.

I’m not sure you’d have gotten me out of the surgery without a fight to be honest.

@Littleblueridinghood

I see that OP clarified the point earlier. I'm going to have to withdraw my fulsome apology of some moments ago I'm afraid, although it could be read both ways. 🤝 (that's supposed to be a handshake, but it looks like a tiny pair of yellow Y-fronts)

I had a similar experience - location near Chester.

So rude, laid it on thick all the drawbacks of the treatment, literally said he might need to brake her jaw. Gave her an easy option out.
Never once mentioned the benefits and basically shushed me up !
That was after years of waiting and a paid appointment.
Daughter never had the treatment.
Gutted as now she hates her teeth and hates smiling.

OK that's fine - IMO it was rather ambiguous.

There will be lots of her peers wearing them when she gets them. The bar for NHS braces is really high now. There needs to be a clinical need. When she has them hopefully she'll be mature enough to understand. 11 is pretty young though.

This ^
and also add that dentist actually threatened to report you to social services when you tried to explain your son what’s going on.

I’ve been a dental nurse for 37 years and I think the dentist was an arse!! If I were his nurse I’d have had something to say to him! He obviously hasn’t done the now compulsory autism awareness training.
Edited to add. I have 2 sons with ADHD and a niece with ASD and it’s as much my role to advocate for patients as it is to chaperone a dentist.

Where did OP say that the dentist threatened to report her to Social Services?

Until now they haven't mentioned that piece of information.

This is the problem with giving children rights. You can blame the barmy left for this shit

Thank you no one has ever mentioned it as a possibility that she would need them till now and shes been with the same dental practice since she was 1 so i was not expecting it but now they have said it i can see what they mean
Apparently they can have braces from age 7 but 9-16 is the best time to get them so the dentist says
We would need to go for nhs as just dont have the money to go private but i am hoping there will be others with them when the time comes and that she doesnt get teased
Its hard enough making the move to secondary without that added in too

Just ignore it. Hopefully it will get bored and go away 🤞🏻

I'd be asking in my complaint what training on neurodivergence the dentist has attended. I'm cross on your behalf

Yes kids can and do want braces. It is not about entitlement, if they want them, ND or not, they can have them. If they don't it's not worth any level of risk because (again!) braces are a COMPLETELY OPTIONAL treatment.
Also your anecdotal evidence of your kids never getting decay is worth nothing.