School residential vegetarian/vegan only

[vgp1234]

My child had really been looking forward to their year 6 residential, but a new head has joined and had changed the format somewhat.

They have now booked a Sustainability Centre in Hampshire, which only caters for vegetarians and vegans. My child is not a vegetarian or vegan, and across the cohort of year 5 and 6 only one child is vegetarian.

While I appreciate that there is a view that they can go 5 days without meat and they should just suck it up, I find it incredibly frustrating that you would not ask a vegetarian or vegan child to suck it up and eat meat for 5 days. So I don't understand why we do not treat both dietary preferences with equal measure.

The new head is very keen on government guidance, and has changed our lunch menu to comply with the current guidance for school lunches which is that 3 days should include meat or fish (previously we had a meat and vegetarian/vegan option every day). However it seems this guidance only applies on the school site, so you can disregard it at a residential. While they are within their rights to do this, it does seem like quite a contradiction.

I have tried speaking to the Sustainability centre directly but they were very inflexible and just stated it is a against their ethos (may I add that they also offer a day trip at a cost to visit a working farm, who rear animals for meat, so their ethos does not run all that deep). This really goes against my ethos as not only do I think you should treat all groups equally, I can't help but feel that this is forcing their ideas on children verses allowing them free choice and the ability to hear both viewpoints (meat is unsustainable/sustainable) and make their own decision.

In all honesty I'm quite perplexed as to why the school choose the venue when it would clearly be controversial, as this is quite a personal choice for parents and the cohort has so few in it that have this dietary preference.

I'm sure some people will not agree with me, and I am open to your opinions as I'm a big believer in hearing both sides of the argument and our ability to think critically for ourselves and not be told what to think (I want this for my child too).

I do plan to send the school an email initially and request that they provide a rounded menu including meat. But I'd really appreciate any advice on how to word this appropriately as I'm quite upset by it, and I'd prefer to send a well worded email than an emotional one.

I actually just feel sorry for the poster. It's sad that some people are so closed-minded. Of course, it's even sadder for their children.

I really can't see the issue with having to eat veggie food for 5 days. I also don't think it's imposing an ethos, it's just not serving meat. They could equally choose not to serve carrots all week and only peas.

Hampshire catering used to be pretty good (compared with the awful school dinners I had!) but it might be different now.

Unless you have a specific concern for your child like allergies or arfid, there is nothing to comment on. This kind of arbitrary menu is more difficult for those circumstances and that is why I find them problematic.

@BeHappySloth

I am not scared of anything! What a weird thing to say. I have a very culturally diverse heritage and i have a culinary qualification - I have NO issue with people choosing to eat or not eat whatever they want!

Your post is so weird - why would i be scared if my DDs wanted to stop eating meat or fish.

I dont think a group setting where children are away from home is the right place to have restrictive menus.

I think OP is right to ask the school about this. Note: ask - not burn the school office down. But I think it is a valid point to politely raise.

Sorry edited for typos.

Clearly OP’s DC has never been given any of those meals because OP “wouldn’t want to force a vegetarian diet on them” despite the fact many meals are vegetarian without even trying to be 😄

I feel seen 🤩😘

Veggies are for everyone. (Allergies aside)

It's not exclusionary in the slightest, unless someone had an extremely restrictive diet in which case they may struggle with catering regardless.

What ever is wrong with letting children experience and embrace new things?

All menus for a group will be restrictive in some way fish hasn’t got a look in so far here

I am a meat eater. I think you are being absolutely ridiculous. One of the reasons some schools, including Michaela, offer only vegetarian or vegan food is because everyone can eat it - meat eaters, Jewish and Muslim people, vegetarians and vegans.

Please don't take this up with the school. It's hard to recruit head teachers. Parents like you, who think schools are there to provide a bespoke service for their child, are one of the reasons why.

Your approach is not going to help your child longer-term. They will not learn to be adaptable. In the future, your child will find themselves in many situations where they may not particularly like the food on offer - scout camps, church gatherings, university halls, work dinners, staying with friends.

I guess it just seems like such a massive overreaction that I assumed it must be fuelled by some sort of anxiety.

If you're not anxious, why are you making such hyperbolic statements about a vegetarian diet being imposed on your children? It's only 5 days!😂 Is it that you're one of these people who is somehow offended by vegetarianism because you perceive it to be a criticism of your own choices? Because most of us don't actually give a toss what other people choose to eat.

A vegetarian menu really doesn't need to be restrictive, so I'm not sure what you mean by that. Most of the kids probably wouldn't even notice the absence of meat that much unless they eat an unusually meat-dominated diet at home.

My then 11 yr old would have found this very challenging. She eats everything now but not then. An egg sandwich would have been her only lunch option. Vegetarian sausage/rolls maybe. Probably not the soup or curry or stew. Not everyone can eat quorn. She’d have been in for a tedious week.
Also, I don’t think being vegetarian is entirely environmentally sound. A v large proportion of the UK is unsuitable for agriculture. Raising sheep and cattle on the uplands turns rough grazing into high quality protein.

@BeHappySloth

I have been clear and measured in my posts.

You on the other hand are mocking me and calling me names “scared” “hyperbolic”
”insecure of my choices” etc

There is no need for that.

People can have different opinions about things.

Of course people can have different opinions, and I'm genuinely trying to understand yours, but I do think it's hyperbolic to talk about vegetarianism being imposed on your child when we're talking about 5 days.

Rough pasture can’t provide the amount of meat - ie meat every day- that is suggested here

yes small amount of meat is compatible with an environmental sound diet - Sundays would be traditional

children with very restricted diets- it’s makes me feel rather sad - but most children just eat when others eat especially if they don’t have parent’s helicoptering around their very desire

and teaching resilience in face of adversity is a key skill that so many don’t have

A child who couldn't have a cheese and tomato sandwich or a cream cheese sandwich or a marmite sandwich or a peanutbutter sandwich or a jam sandwich...would have had difficulty in any residential setting.

Not necessarily.

Eating meat/fish reared or sourced locally is far more ethical than eating quinoa or chick peas, grown in areas where they're destroying forests (the developed West's discovery of quinoa has been immensely destructive of forests in the southern American continent) and with high processing & air miles costs.

My wee one is quite challenging food wise as the only meat she eats is chicken (like me) with the very occasional sausage/ham - but she's also not a fan of a lot of vegetables. She would eat plain pasta, toast or chicken with gravy every day of life if I let her. I asked her what she would do in this situation as she has her residential next year, and her answer was basically 'cope'. Same as I had to when I was a young vegetarian and people were determined to shove mince and potatoes and stews down your throat at every opportunity. Most children will manage and muddle through for a few days.

And again - having a vegetarian diet for a few days IS seeing the 'other side' - otherwise they probably only experience your meat-eating side. I think it's a good experience.

@BeHappySloth

That is YOUR opinion but it's not the only valid opinion.

Children who are fussy eaters or who are used to having meat as part of their meals, away from home on a residential trip, might struggle. Not mine - but some might.

Given that presumably the OP will be paying towards this trip she is right to question the decision and then decide if it suits her child or not.

Not sure what is so complicated about that for you to understand?

Lots of vegetarians don't eat quorn tbh. I doubt that they would serve it at a school residential because lots of people react badly to it.

My dd typically found catered residential challenging because she didn't eat meat and the vegetarian offerings were typically meat-style dishes using processed fake meat. We don't ever eat food like that at home, so the style of the cooking and the texture of the fake meat were generally very off-putting for her, but she just ate what she could and got on with it because that was all part of the experience.

It is possible to devise a veggie diet that is less ethical and environmentally friendly than a meat diet but you could always devise a veggie diet that would be better than any meat diet you could devise

Some comments here are just…..eye-opening!

1. Protein - we’ll all disintegrate into a puddle of nothingness if we don’t have meat at every meal 😱
   Wrong! What’s the medical name for protein deficiency? Don’t know? Yep, that’ll be because you’ve never seen anyone in the U.K. with it (even if they’re veggie or vegan 🤣).

2. Processed crap - veggie and vegan food only consists of the processed meat-free burgers and stuff that you see in the supermarket, whereas meat food is always organic chicken breasts, matured free range steak and sea bass fillets.
   Wrong. Veggie and vegan diets use natural foods and there’s no necessity to eat processed stuff at all.

3. Fainting - not eating meat for 5 days will cause you to pass out.
   Despite the fact that iron reserves take months to be seriously depleted (must have been the previous meat diet that did it then!) and despite the fact vegetarians and vegans can obtain sufficient iron from their diet

at that age she didn’t eat cheese or tomato. Can’t remember re cream cheese, maybe marmite or jam. Fish and chips and she’d have been fine. Just hassle for people really.

But vegetarian kids often struggle on residential because of the amount of fake meat served up for vegetarians by kitchens which only really know how to cook for meat eaters. I wouldn't have dreamt of saying that they were "imposing" fake meat on my dd, though. As far as I was concerned, dealing with meals that were a bit different from what we would eat at home was all part of the residential experience.

But of course, yes, the OP is entitled to decide that she would prefer for her ds to miss out on the trip rather than allowing him to go for 5 days with no meat. As a parent, that is her prerogative. But it's my prerogative to think that such a decision would be batshit and to feel sorry for the kids who miss out on stuff for such trivial reasons.

What is quorn then? Or a vegetarian sausage content? And the medical name for protein deficiency would be marasmus or kwashiorkor.
That said, I’m sure he children would be fine for a week.