Would you leave 13 month overnight with a friend?

[orzo15]

Next week i am meant to be going to an overnight work trip for 1 night which is half work and half social. My friend has offered to come to my house to look after my son for that night as i am a single parent. He has been put to sleep by other people before and been fine but never been away for a whole night from me. He wakes up multiple times a night still which my friend has said is fine she can deal with it for 1 night. He sees her about once every 2 weeks so knows her and she has picked him up from nursery before.

Would you leave him? On one hand, I would love a break. I am so tired and the thought of 1 night of a full nights sleep sounds wonderful. On the other hand i am worried how my son would react waking up in the night and me not there and whether this would impact him at all. What would you do?

Yes! Snap her hand off and thank her profusely

I wouldn’t want to but what are the work consequences if you don’t go?

Go for it. Your friend sounds lovely.

I think as a single parent you deserve a night off. The worst that will happen is little one wakes more in the night, but he knows your friend and will eventually settle. It’s for one night, not a whole week. I’d 100% take the offer OP x

Also yes agree your friend is a diamond

The real question is how much do you trust this friend?

I have only ever left my children with my mum and my sister and that’s because I trust them. They know me, know my boundaries and I know my children are safe when they are with them and I don’t spend my time away worrying.

If you trust her like that then yes, I’d leave him/her.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't relax being away from home and not knowing how it was all going.

If you're really tired and the friend is willing, j would ask her to stay with you there but do the wake ups etc

A work/social night away is not likely to be particularly restorative

It is really really hard being a single parent, especially when the children are that young. If you have a friend you trust who has offered to step in, and you wouldn't be pining/worrying the entire time, then ofcourse you should do it. Good luck, and thank your friend on behalf of all single parents - it does take a village, and she is symbolizing that for you and for us all!

For me it would depend on the friend. I have friends I would feel totally comfortable leaving my toddler with and could go enjoy my night knowing they will be absolutely fine together but I also have friends who despite the fact I adore them and would trust them with MY life, I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving them to look after my toddler overnight alone. Only you know which category this friend fits in for you.

Yes I would. Sounds like your friend is willing and aware of the night wakings.

Oh my god just do it! But send me your friend’s phone number first.

Yes I would do and I have done it. I’m a single parent so have had to rely on good friends (very very limited family support) to provide support. Of course the friends I have used I wholeheartedly trust and know they would respect my wishes.

Anyone telling you to not leave them with a friend that your child clearly knows really well and you trust, is just being a helicopter parent. You'll likely find it tough being away for the night but absolutely nothing bad is going to happen to you or your child because you spent one night away on a work trip. Please do it. It is healthy to take time away and it's extra hard for you, being a single parent. Ignore the comments saying not to go. You definitely should go and try to have a bath and an early night. Really enjoy it, as best you can.

You think that 1) bringing a child on a work trip is appropriate and 2) paying for a hotel room for them, separate to yours, when it is one night, is reasonable?

Please take a night away from your child. This level of attachment is seriously not healthy. It's one night. Neither of them will die.

trust my friend completely, she was my birthing partner and she’s incredible with my son. She doesn’t have her own kids but is very much a doting ‘auntie’. My parents have both died now, have some family but I live abroad so had to make my village here. Her offer is amazing and in so grateful. It would be resorarive because it’s in a luxury hotel and I am friends with many of my colleagues. I’m just worried about whether it would affect him? Or would one night away from me be ok long term?

It will not affect him! Except possibly to show that mummy does come back after going away and it is fine, therefore actually helping avoid future attachment issues!

I'm a single mum and my parents had my child for regular sleepovers from about 8 months old. He is a very happy and well adjusted child.

I only would if I wasn’t breastfeeding and if the friend in question was a mother themselves (mothers intuition, experience of what could go wrong, not stressed by normal scenarios etc)

She sounds like a great friend and someone you can trust so I think if you need to go on the trip then you should go.
Where is the little ones dad though? Was there no option for him to have him this night?

I trust my best friend to look after my children more than I do family. On the basis of I see her every day, she comes to most appointments she can work permitting. She knows my kids like me where as my family don’t ☺️

I’d definitely take her up on the offer, your son knows her and no doubt it will do you good x

It won't affect him at all. The only reason I didn't leave my son at that age was because we were still breastfeeding - if he'd been bottlefed at that point, I'd have loved a night away to catch up some sleep. Don't get me wrong, the first night away is really hard and you'll miss him like crazy. But he will be fine and it's healthy for you to learn to be away from him occassionally. Do the night away - it'll be okay ❤️

This. You obviously trust your friend to collect from nursery. Sounds like a lovely friend. Buy her flowers and enjoy your night off.

Your baby will not remember.

Under these circumstances yes I would.

Do it 100%.

As a single parent you have to learn to rely on others and get yourself and your child comfortable being away from each other.

You can’t do everything all the time and you need a break.

Starting a solid list of people you can rely on when needed can only be a good thing.

I’m just worried about whether it would affect him? Or would one night away from me be ok long term?

My parents left us with close family friends for three weeks when I was 5 and my sibling 6 months. We're in our 50s now and still fond of our parents 😆