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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you leave 13 month overnight with a friend?

42 replies

orzo15 · 23/09/2025 13:25

Next week i am meant to be going to an overnight work trip for 1 night which is half work and half social. My friend has offered to come to my house to look after my son for that night as i am a single parent. He has been put to sleep by other people before and been fine but never been away for a whole night from me. He wakes up multiple times a night still which my friend has said is fine she can deal with it for 1 night. He sees her about once every 2 weeks so knows her and she has picked him up from nursery before.

Would you leave him? On one hand, I would love a break. I am so tired and the thought of 1 night of a full nights sleep sounds wonderful. On the other hand i am worried how my son would react waking up in the night and me not there and whether this would impact him at all. What would you do?

OP posts:
lorinay · 23/09/2025 15:19

I would, and I did when my DC was that age.

nutbrownhare15 · 23/09/2025 15:19

No it won't affect him because he knows your friend already. Presumably she'll put him to bed so when he wakes up her being there won't be a surprise to him. It's one night only, make the most of it, you deserve it.

Wynter25 · 23/09/2025 15:22

Yes!

SunshineAndFizz · 23/09/2025 15:22

orzo15 · 23/09/2025 14:42

trust my friend completely, she was my birthing partner and she’s incredible with my son. She doesn’t have her own kids but is very much a doting ‘auntie’. My parents have both died now, have some family but I live abroad so had to make my village here. Her offer is amazing and in so grateful. It would be resorarive because it’s in a luxury hotel and I am friends with many of my colleagues. I’m just worried about whether it would affect him? Or would one night away from me be ok long term?

If you trust her and she’s happy to do it - go for it.

He’s not going to be telling a therapist about this in 20 years time - he’ll be absolutely fine.

Homegrownberries · 23/09/2025 15:23

Grab the opportunity and go! You might not have the chance again.

Butterflysunshine01 · 23/09/2025 15:25

You’ll probably find he sleeps through the night for her too 😂 it’s always the way haha. My baby sleeps far better for others

Original poster
orzo15 · 23/09/2025 15:40

thank you all this has made me feel a lot better!

OP posts:
Pezdeoro41 · 23/09/2025 15:48

Have an absolutely lovely time OP, you deserve it!

TinyTeachr · 23/09/2025 15:49

It wont harm him at all. He knows and trusts her.

I had to leave one of mine who was used to bf to sleep several times a night (his twin was in hospital and needed me, a decision had to be made fast!) He needed a bit of extra comfort in my absence and slept mostly on my dad's shoulder, but certainly fine the next day and moving forwards. As long as your friend is OK with getting little sleep as extra cuddles may be needed i think it will be totally fine.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 23/09/2025 15:51

He’ll be fine!!! Single mom here, and enjoy your relaxing time away!! You deserve it!!

Original poster
orzo15 · 17/10/2025 09:56

Just want to update this to say i went away and had a great night off, my son was absolutely fine he loves my friend. As predicted he would not go back to sleep without the boob once he woke up, so she was up for most of the night and he eventually fell asleep on her, but while he was awake was giggling and wanted to play. She expected a sleepless night so wasn't stressed out. I sent her some flowers the next day and she said it was actually a lovely bonding evening with my son, and she will happily watch him for an evening (but will wait until he is sleeping through for overnight again!). Thank you all for the encouragement!

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 17/10/2025 10:02

Amazing well done. That's really heart warming and I'm glad you had a great time.

DarkPassenger1 · 17/10/2025 12:00

No, I wouldn't. Personally I feel that's really far too young to leave with someone else, unless it's perhaps a close relative that has been caring for them since being tiny. I think it'd be really disorientating and upsetting for such a young child to wake in the night and it be someone else instead of their parents.

crappycrapcrap · 17/10/2025 12:02

Aww that’s lovely OP - good friends are the best thing!

AutumnCosy2025 · 17/10/2025 12:04

orzo15 · 17/10/2025 09:56

Just want to update this to say i went away and had a great night off, my son was absolutely fine he loves my friend. As predicted he would not go back to sleep without the boob once he woke up, so she was up for most of the night and he eventually fell asleep on her, but while he was awake was giggling and wanted to play. She expected a sleepless night so wasn't stressed out. I sent her some flowers the next day and she said it was actually a lovely bonding evening with my son, and she will happily watch him for an evening (but will wait until he is sleeping through for overnight again!). Thank you all for the encouragement!

Excellent!!

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 17/10/2025 12:22

Yes of course! I’d also offer to do that for a friend.

cestlavielife · 17/10/2025 14:40

Of course.

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