My DH is very lovely, incredibly hardworking (professionally and in the home), and is a doting dad. I have 3 DC - 13 yo and 11yo from a previous marriage (they have an excellent relationship with him) and a 19 month old with my DH. DH has not stayed away since the youngest was born because he simply didn’t want to and would miss her too much. I haven’t had any nights away from her either, she is breastfed
DH went to a wedding abroad from Friday morning to Monday evening. His first time away since she was born. He’s worked so hard leading up to it - I said to go and have a wonderful time with no responsibility and do not feel guilty at all, you deserve it. We said nothing about contact home, he has done nothing wrong. In retrospect I can recognise that envouraging him to enjoy no responsibilities to me meant no washing/ housework/ childcare. Not that I expected him to switch off to our existence 😅
DH did send a few messages whilst away (not many but this is our usual style and neither of us like texting). I do like goodnight messages which I have told him in the past but it’s not important to him and contact was sparse. The thing that surprised me is that he didn’t call or FaceTime once whilst away. I didn’t realise I had any expectations before this happened but I found this unsettling. I found it disconcerting that he can go from the most doting dad to not feeling the need to call our 19 month old or have any contact with her. I can now see that my expectations were maybe a 5 minute FaceTime once or twice whilst away. Again, not his fault because this wasn’t discussed before he went
He didn’t do anything overtly wrong but I feel a bit unsettled. I would have 100% wanted to see her little face and check in with him briefly if I were abroad. Especially, if it were my first time away from her and I’d left him and the children in the UK