Workman did a giant poo in my downstairs toilet and it won't go.

[Poodlelove]

Today I had 2 men working in my garden , they were recommended to me by a colleague.4 hours work.
After a couple of hours one of them asked to use the toilet , he took off his shoes and was quick and didn't think any more of it.
An hour later the younger fella knocks on the door and I am on a work call , he points to the direction of the toilet and I just nod.

Ten minutes later he is still in there , I had to make another call so didn't think any more of it and then they had finished.

Anyway I had to dash out so got ready and needed a quick wee ( wee is only allowed in my downstairs loo ) and there is such a big poo in the toilet that it is actually out of the water AND it won't flush.

What on earth am I supposed to do ?

My Mum said stand on a chair and pour boiling water from a height 🤢 That doesn't work.
My husband isn't home until 9pm tonight , he is going to have to deal with it , but he said he wants his dinner first.
I could not poo in someone else's house.
Surely he could have held it in or scooped it out himself , or actually told me.
I have found an old ice cream container and some marigolds and as soon as hubby has eaten he can scoop it out.

No! I’ll never be able to face them again. That crunchy nut exterior and the runny stuff inside. 🤮🫣

Not pleasant at all but count yourself lucky. I once had an appliance repair engineer leave multiple, blatantly obvious, sat on shit marks all over the actual seat of my toilet. It looked like when he wiped it was/went on his backside and smeared the seat. 🤢🤮 The CF done absolutely nothing about it & made no attempt at cleaning his mess. I was horrified, screaming, gagging, all simultaneously. I bleached, disinfected and anti bac’d every square inch of the bathroom & spaces he was in. It was vile.

Move house presumably.

Omg gagging over here

Break its back with a coat hanger! The bugger will flush then. If this actually happened at all that is... 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️

It's just such a foul thing to do. What would go through your mind leaving it for someone else to contend with?

@bumblebee1000

how the fuck did he manage to get it on the floor?!

GROSS

Oh me too!! I'm having one of those crying-with-laughter-silently-in-bed-so-as-not-to-wake-DH moments .. not have one of those in a while from a mumsnet thread! Thank you OP 💩

Why would you even think of scooping it out fgs. Madness.
As for bleach, that’s almost as ridiculous as a solution. (Unless bleach has poo dissolving powers I’ve hitherto been unaware of)
boiling water = unwise. Unless you want to risk cracking the toilet bowl.

All it needs is chopping up a bit with a stick and a shove with a toilet plunger. An unpleasant discovery and an unpleasant task but so much better than fishing it out!

Only wee is allowed?! Wtaf

😆😆😆

DM used to keep a rusty old dinner knife on the side of the bath for cutting up non flushers!! 🤣

I loved this comment. What I seemed to have missed in this scatalogical story is why noone is allowed to poo in the downstairs loo.

….forkin’ell …sorry - mistyped… - forkinife ! 😈

….forkin’ell …sorry - mistyped… - forkinife ! 😈

Op @Poodlelove how did you get rid of the giant poo?!

Have you got a whisk?

What will the sign say? No shitting in the toilet? 😂

Many years ago we were having the bathroom renovated. The tiler had removed the toilet (our only one), DS was quite young at the time and unable to wait, so had to pee in a bottle. I was having a chat with the tiler, he apologised about the inconvenience and then he said he'd got caught short too and gone in the garden. I thought he meant he'd had a wee and thought no more of it until after he'd left and DH found a grout bucket that had been left (lidded) in the garden. Inside was a large turd and there was a cigarette end close by! Dirty git had shat in the bucket and left it! We still laugh about it now. We didn't use him again though.

In the early 00's, a young guy I used to work with did this at work.

Our offices were a converted shop. Bottom floor was the sales office then through a door was a tiny corridor that you had to pass to go upstairs to my office. This tiny corridor consisted of just two toilets, mine and all the guys I worked with.

This poor boy was only 18 and had gone for a poo, and with me being the 'mum' and only girl there, he came out and said, with tears welling up in his eyes. 'Help me. My poo is so big, it won't go'. Cue lots of laugher, ribbing and not much work being done, as one by one, the other 6 guys went and had a look.
In the end, his only option was to chop it up with a stick! Absolutely hilarious, although not for him when he was forever known as 'poo boy'!

😂

Old garden stick, break up the turd, then flush a couple of times. Then tip Harpic/Bleach or something down the loo.

Put bleach on it.

Biological washing liquid. Leave for hrs then flush with bucket of hot water. I'm not one for getting too close

Struck by the fortuitous but under-exploited rhyme in your post, I have been moved to re-cast your note to the tradesman in four lines of appalling doggerel.

One of your chaps left a gigantic turd
In our bog - and I can't say I wasn't perturbed.
A ten percent discount's the least I expect or
This story gets posted - in detail - on NextDoor.

Okay, yes. It's dreadful. But it amused me while I dunked my Hobnob.