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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be worried about my 4yo health or am i just being over anxious

49 replies

Alumers · 21/09/2025 18:54

sorry if this is long but i just feel like i need to write it all down somewhere for people who might understand…

my Son is 4 just started Reception this month and he just seems so poorly all the time. he gets tummy aches a lot and sometimes says his tummy feels hard. he has loose poos then other days can be really constipated and cries on the toilet. sometimes there’s mucus in it (sorry tmi). he hardly eats much and is so so fussy, sometimes won’t eat a whole meal and just pushes it away.

he looks so pale and has these dark circles under his eyes, his skin gets really dry and he always seems to have some sort of bruise on his legs. he gets tired so quickly, asks to go to bed early or just flops on the sofa after school. some mornings he says his legs hurt and once last week he was sort of limping but then it went away.

he’s missed 3 days of school already since starting because he had a temperature and was really clingy. school said he’s quiet and not joining in much which is not like him at home.

GP just says its normal bugs or that he’s just getting used to school and that i shouldn’t worry but i cant help it, i feel like something is not right. DH is away for work this week and says im overthinking and i just need to let him settle but i just have this horrible feeling.

AIBU to keep pushing with the GP? i feel like they think i’m a crazy mum but i just want him to be ok

OP posts:

hardtocare · 21/09/2025 19:00

It’s really normal for them to be constantly ill when they start school if they haven’t been in childcare previously. My eldest had been in nursery since she was tiny and I was convinced she had a brain tumour the first term of reception as she was tired and unwell. It’s such a big adjustment for them. I’d be inclined to believe the doctor but don’t forget mother instincts are powerful so don’t forget your gut feeling

Plastictreees · 21/09/2025 19:01

Could he be anxious about starting school? It’s a massive thing and children can struggle to put feelings into words. It’s very common for young children to have somatic symptoms when stressed, particularly stomach related symptoms. I would focus on building up his confidence, and helping him name his feelings. Has he made any friends yet? Hopefully this is a period of adjustment, and of course keep an eye on things health wise, but I wouldn’t jump to any worrying conclusions.

JLou08 · 21/09/2025 19:01

Starting school can be exhausting and stressful, which can cause the symptoms you've listed. I do think we should always listen to our instincts as parents though. Go back and ask for a second opinion if you're still worried.

birdling · 21/09/2025 19:06

Possibly normal for them to be ill a lot.
Did he go to nursery/preschool?
If yes, it's a little more worrying because they usually build up their immunity during that time, and are less likely to need to once at school.
Also, the extreme tiredness could be concerning if he attended nursery, as he would already be used to long days, although school days are more tiring as they are learning a huge amount.
If he doesn't recover in a week or so, I would take him back for peace of mind.

Flibbertyfloo · 21/09/2025 19:08

Constant colds and coughs is normal, but the loose stools then constipation less so. I'd push the GP to run bloods, including coeliac screen.

Original poster

Alumers · 21/09/2025 19:15

thank you all for replying i really appreciate it i think that’s why i’m so worried because some of this started before he even started school the tummy aches and the loose poos/constipation stuff has been going on for months now and the dark circles too he did go to nursery full time from about 2.5 so he’s used to long days and he actually loved nursery never had any problems going in

it just feels like he’s been more and more tired lately even before reception started he’ll sometimes fall asleep in the day which he hasn’t done for ages i keep thinking maybe it is just bugs and adjusting but i don’t know the stools and tummy pain just don’t seem normal to me

i dont want to be that mum who is at the doctors every week but i’m thinking i might ask for bloods like some of you have said just so i can stop worrying so much

OP posts:

Mauvehoodie · 21/09/2025 19:19

It could be totally normal starting school or virus symptoms. If these are symptoms he has had for a while you could explore coeliac. A few things sound very like my cousins son. Is he small for his age?

ClaredeBear · 21/09/2025 19:55

Bruising, hips or joints hurting and low energy is 100% something I would insist on checking out properly.

Moonnstars · 21/09/2025 19:59

Some of this sounds perfectly normal, however the dark circles around his eyes, constipation and loose stools does not. You mention they are a fussy eater so I wonder if some of this is diet related and whether they are getting all the nutrients they need. Do you give any vitamins?
I do think you should go back to the doctor though.

Ikeameatballs · 21/09/2025 19:59

I strongly suspect that his constipation is significantly under treated.

I would ask for some bloods including Coeliac screen, Vit D and iron. Give him a daily multivitamin contains Vit D and iron.

Get him in a good disimpaction regime for his constipation. Look here for advice https://eric.org.uk and discuss with your GP.

Home - ERIC

Struggling with bowel and bladder issues? Ask the experts at our exclusive event.

https://eric.org.uk

Crunchienuts · 21/09/2025 19:59

If he doesn’t improve I would keep pushing.

SeaToSki · 21/09/2025 20:02

ClaredeBear · 21/09/2025 19:55

Bruising, hips or joints hurting and low energy is 100% something I would insist on checking out properly.

This.

SausageMonkey2 · 21/09/2025 20:02

I would bet my bottom dollar he is acutely constipated. Loose stool sounds like overflow and constipation is constipation. This would also account for the low appetite. The low appetite would also drive the lack of energy if he’s not eating well. Look at the ERIC website.

if you have concerns re: faltering growth etc it is worth a blood test for coeliac.

VoltaireMittyDream · 21/09/2025 20:02

My DS caught everything going in reception, OP, but he wasn’t super tired with dark circles under his eyes, he didn’t have ongoing digestive issues, and he didn’t have leg pain and tons of bruises.

I’d keep pressing with your GP, and go in confidently and don’t let them fob you off as an anxious mum.

Hopefully it is nothing - could also be something really easily treated like a deficiency or intolerance.

FioFioSILK · 21/09/2025 20:06

He's under nourished and without an appetite. He may have low iron. Toilet habits aren't usual either. How can the GP say it because of school ? If his tummy is hard he's possibly constipated. I'd get him checked over blood tests etc for allergies to gluten maybe and iron levels checked. Insist on a referral to a paediatrician.

FusionChefGeoff · 21/09/2025 20:16

This sounds very much like coeliac disease

Bitzee · 21/09/2025 20:26

He sounds chronically constipated. Loose stools are symptomatic too because they are overflow around a blockage higher up. Tummy ache and low appetite also fits. Potentially there’s more going on but I think you absolutely need to go back to the GP for a prescription to treat the constipation which sounds awful poor love and then see where you’re at and hopefully that will be the end of it, bar the coughs and sniffles which you’re always going to get first 2 terms of reception.

UnbeatenMum · 21/09/2025 20:27

I think you're right to be concerned. I thought coeliacs too so I think it would be good to rule that out and look into other possibilities too.

KatyaKat · 21/09/2025 20:30

I would get the constipation treated and go from there. The tiredness doesn't sound normal if it started before school, but if he's not eating well due to being constipated, it might be explained by that.

Definitely go back to GP. Good luck, must be very worrying for you, but hopefully easily treated

Happyjoe · 21/09/2025 20:31

Imo, keep pushing. He doesn't sound right and sounds more than school nerves. Tiredness could be down to him not eating, but when you put all the things together my alarm bells would ring too. Let's face it, most 4 year olds are a bundle of energy regardless. See if GP will be able to do a blood test and perhaps stool test (as well as check his tummy). I am not a fan of explaining things on something as simple as IBS, diet or starting school tireness without ruling out other things first in children or adults.

KatyaKat · 21/09/2025 20:31

Definitely go back to GP. Good luck, must be very worrying for you, but hopefully easily treated

Happyjoe · 21/09/2025 20:33

Ikeameatballs · 21/09/2025 19:59

I strongly suspect that his constipation is significantly under treated.

I would ask for some bloods including Coeliac screen, Vit D and iron. Give him a daily multivitamin contains Vit D and iron.

Get him in a good disimpaction regime for his constipation. Look here for advice https://eric.org.uk and discuss with your GP.

Please don't give iron if the child is constipated, it will make things so much worse. Wait until get diagnosis please.

Feeling83 · 21/09/2025 20:36

My first thought was chronic constipation too, it affects appetite, growth, immunity. Sounds like my son, even with the dark circles and pale skin.
definitely go back to the GP, or see a new one and push for answers, you should trust your instincts as others have said.
Unfortunately it seems a lot of GPs do not really understand how to treat constipation and the effect on the child is horrendous. Good luck with finding answer OP.

SausageMonkey2 · 21/09/2025 21:19

Recommending Movicol Mummies Facebook group too. You’ll get lots of
good advice.

flippertygibbet4 · 21/09/2025 21:51

Trust your instincts and get a second opinion. Keep pushing. He could be anaemic, but it's not your job to diagnose him. Get back to the GP and don't stop pestering. You're his mum, you know him best. I hope he's ok x

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