AIBU to be worried about my 4yo health or am i just being over anxious

[Alumers]

sorry if this is long but i just feel like i need to write it all down somewhere for people who might understand…

my Son is 4 just started Reception this month and he just seems so poorly all the time. he gets tummy aches a lot and sometimes says his tummy feels hard. he has loose poos then other days can be really constipated and cries on the toilet. sometimes there’s mucus in it (sorry tmi). he hardly eats much and is so so fussy, sometimes won’t eat a whole meal and just pushes it away.

he looks so pale and has these dark circles under his eyes, his skin gets really dry and he always seems to have some sort of bruise on his legs. he gets tired so quickly, asks to go to bed early or just flops on the sofa after school. some mornings he says his legs hurt and once last week he was sort of limping but then it went away.

he’s missed 3 days of school already since starting because he had a temperature and was really clingy. school said he’s quiet and not joining in much which is not like him at home.

GP just says its normal bugs or that he’s just getting used to school and that i shouldn’t worry but i cant help it, i feel like something is not right. DH is away for work this week and says im overthinking and i just need to let him settle but i just have this horrible feeling.

AIBU to keep pushing with the GP? i feel like they think i’m a crazy mum but i just want him to be ok

It is probably just tiredness, bugs etc from starting school but I would be concerned about limping, unexplained bruises and saying that his legs hurt because that can point to more unlikely yet concerning things.

I would definitely be asking for some bloods.

I would second this, and would push for consideration of these symptoms along with his tiredness by the GP

It definitely could be coeliacs, chronic constipation or even something like crohns (my friends son was diagnosed at 4 with very similar symptoms) I'd push the GP to do bloods for all of these things and also ask for an X ray to see if he's chronically constipated.

Mention the bruises, leg pain, tiredness. That needs to be checked along with the other problems. Get your husband to take him. Awful as it sounds that was the only way a family member could get her gp to take her concerns about a child seriously.

Don't worry about being "that Mum". It's our job as mothers to advocate for our children. You know him better than anyone in the world and your gut is telling you something isn't right. You need to get it checked out.

This could be normal over tiredness with starting school, but there are other, more sinister things it could be, push for tests and a referral.

Coeliac disease presents like this, it is a blood test first, confirmed by endoscopy though they don’t always to that for children. Any family history of it or other autoimmune illnesses such as thyroid disease or type 1 diabetes?

This doesn’t sound normal!! Get back to the Gp with a clear list and push for tests. Could all be a simple fix but tests need to be done

i imagine at 4 he probably is low on iron

Is his father with you? Unfortunately some GPs do fob people off - go together for support and to emphasise the fact you want it taken seriously.

Write down the symptoms and say you want tests to rule out underlying causes such as coeliac disease, vitamin deficiencies etc. Also say you are concerned there could be a serious underlying cause. Make it clear you are taking notes.

If you read up on what the GP could do and then ask directly it can help.

morning everyone just wanted to update i rang the GP first thing and managed to get a telephone appointment. she was nice enough but basically said again its probably just viral / school germs and to keep an eye on him. i did mention the stools and tummy pain and asked about bloods but she said they wouldn’t do them yet unless things got worse or he lost more weight 😔

he went into school this morning but he cried and said his tummy hurt and looked so pale i nearly kept him off again. i just feel so stuck because i dont want to be a pest but i also can’t shake the feeling something is not right.

thank you for all the replies yesterday it really helped me feel less crazy. i think if he has another bad night or misses more school this week i will ring back and insist on seeing someone in person.

oh thanks for the update
i would look into iron rich foods, along with vitamin c, ie, satsumas, bless him
does his throat hurt?

Yeah I would give it a few days and go back, sometimes you have to be very insistent before they'll do anything.

Jesus OP I cant believe the GP wouldnt do bloods. Sorry I am in Ireland and that totally wouldnt be an issue.

I would ring again today for bloods. It sounds like it could be more than just virus and he needs a blood test and a screen for coeliac disease.
Be very persistent and insist on a blood test, dont stop until he gets one.

blood tests can be a bit traumatic for 4 year olds

I think he could very well be constipated but I’d want the constant tiredness and bruises to be looked into more.

You need to get him seen: I took my little girl back to the Dr's 3 times before they agreed to test her bloods, which is how they found celiac. She had constant stomach issues, was pale, always getting rsv type things, leg pains, etc.

their legs bruise so much at this age

It's worth it to get some answers. Some of those symptoms can point to some very worrying things that absolutely need to be ruled out.

Being absolutely tired, cranky and off food as coming down with a bug and starting school super common, but the rest isn’t so hopefully the bug just shows a mean virus!

Keep pushing, OP. It is awful when they refuse to listen to you.

Please, please keep an eye out for any more of these symptoms:

night sweats
losing weight
bleeding gums/nose bleed
rash with small red or purple spots
any lumps around his neck, armpit or groin

If he gets any other temperatures.

If any of those things happen, I'd take him to A&E. You can't mess around with things like this due to how serious it might be, it's less likely of course but at the time far too many parents are fobbed off.

This.

Blood tests aren't too bad if you make sure to apply emla cream an hour before the appointment. Would finances allow you to get the bloods done privately?

@Alumers how is your DS this morning?