Fucking Gross Adverts

[BlueEyedBogWitch]

It started with little kids on the toilet with their pants round their ankles, holding their noses.

Then there was the one with a woman farting at work and then scurrying to the bathroom clutching a bog roll.

I think I reached the nadir last night when I was subjected to an advert for razors which treated me to the sight of a man bending down with his back to the camera and his hand under his dressing gown, shaving his sack and crack.

I mean, that might not be the nadir. Maybe next time they’ll drop the dressing down, and I can feast my eyes on his arsehole winking at me while it gets a short back and sides.

At this rate I’ll have to clear all the crap off my kitchen table and start eating like a civilised human again.

AIBU, or are adverts getting increasingly foul?

'wedgy pickers'

🤢

Oh, you've just reminded me of a recent Nike (I think) advert where a woman takes her sock off and you see a manky, peeling blister on her heel

It's how you know it's going to a dreary, miserable show where fuck all happens for 40 minutes - it's a brown, dark room and the bloke whose trauma they're going to not explain in the slightest (but will inevitably involve at least one wife dying and probably a daughter too for good measure) for at least five episodes is going to get up and show his bare arse in the only light from the bathroom door as he takes a piss. Then he drives around with somebody else in the dark, eventually we get some daylight and somebody sounds happy about something involving a woman and then he drives off again, it gets to near darkness and somebody - usually the happy person - dies of boredom. Then it gets dark again.

Throw in lots of dreary, meaningful music, a cheap callback to the Godfather with orange indicating imminent death and the unskippable adverts on the streaming channels with people singing about diarrhoea, piss and pizza delivery men upskirting blokes with hairy bollocks in between meaningful darkness where you can't hear 90% of the mumbling dialogue under the meaningful muzak and can't lipread it because a) it's so fucking dark all the time and b) training a camera on the face of the person speaking is sooooo last century and that's another hour of your life you'll never get back again.

Or you have the other version where the music track is ear splittingly loud, everywhere they go is filthy and dilapidated, during the day and lit by neon signs at night, everybody screams fuck and prick all the time - the only time the music is turned down is hear the naughty words - and there's at least one orgasm scene which may or may not include somebody slinging what's supposed to be ejaculate across the screen or a woman being done from behind whilst standing up so you get a full view of her front. Oh, and there will always be at least one visit to a pole dancing bar.

I absolutely hate these graphic advertisements. I just don't want to see that sort of thing on my TV when I am eating. Does anyone remember when advertisements were fun and entertaining? OK I am going back a bit but just a few examples📧

Joan Collins & Leonard Rossiter - Cinzano
Lorraine Chase - Campari
The Nestle Gold Blend series - will they, won't they?
Smash
Renault - Papa and Nicole
The Oxo Family

Somebody did a skit of the Papa/Nicole one where Papa is kerb crawling in the Paris red light district. A lady of the night comes up to his car. “Papa?” “ Nicole?”

I’m sorry if someone has already said this, but there’s a special place in hell for all the adverts obviously shot in America with impossibly beautiful actors showing off the product in kitchens bigger than our house, and in the rare times I don’t hit the Mute button, you can hear they’ve been badly dubbed into British English

It’s not a question of being ashamed of it, we just don’t need to see a graphic representation, any more than we need to see fake brown poo in loo paper ads. We all know what these products are for.

On a lighter (and unrelated) note, this thread has warmed the cockles of my heart 🥲

I'd just about given up on Mumsnet and when I saw this post, I assumed that it was going to be filled with the typical superior responses pummelling the OP with po-faced navel gazing. Explaining exactly why she's wrong and why she needs to keep up with the progressive modern world, it's actually a feminist issue and anyone who is still clinging onto the past is uneducated and ignorant.

You've all restored my faith a little 😅

But did you object during all the years they showed blue liquid rather than red?

I assume they want to demonstrate how much liquid (more than you might expect) the pads can absorb. We don’t need to see whether loo paper will wipe off poo.

Definitely. Keira blimmin Knightley really showing off her acting skills - not.

There's something about fragrance adverts in that they all seem to strip away any ounce of talent that the actors in them possess.

Even Tilda Swinton is doing one and I thought she was a serious actor.

I thought it was Natalie Portman! Shows what I know.

The Peptobismol ad is fucking insane. Imagine being one of the actors in it. The shame. (I suppose they think of the money and the repeat fees.)

I think the period ads are fantastic, but as pp's said, unnecessary body deodorant and shaving nethers promote perfect plastic bodies. The toilet ones are silly and yuk.

I also welcome the urinary incontinence ads, anything to destigmatize is ace.

I'm surprised they show that advert during the day! Does it not reference balls?! And people shaking their bits? I'm not a prude at all, but come on!

I wonder what the casting calls for those are like and what the actors have to do at the auditions ...

Then the conversations ... 'yes, she's the perfect fit for the ladies' incontinence pad ad ... His voice has just the right tone for bellowing DIARRHOEA ... Loved the way he mimed shaving his bollocks ... Call their agents!'

Some pervy men are into that, maybe that’s why. White Lotus, which was a great drama many ways, showed a man having anal sex in the last series. Big Little Lies showed frozen faced Nicole Kidman engage in S&M sex with her abuser, it was so gross and self-indulgent. YET they have “offensive” warnings on pretty harmless 70s comedies like The Likely Lads! I always rush to turn the sound down with tv adverts and try not to look at them or fast forward them, but some manage to get through.

Shit. Maybe it IS Natalie Portman - I always seem to get them muddled up. It strips her of acting talent, whoever it is.

Totally agree. Makes me feel a bit uncomfortable (appreciate the point of the ad is to apparently normalise it, but I don't want it in my face when watching tv)

We all know blood is on period pads. We don’t need to be shown other people’s bodily fluids. Anymore than I would bring my own used period pad or tampon into the living room to show to my family and guests. The whole liberal “this is educational” argument is such a red herring.

As I'm retired I get the dubious pleasure of the daytime adverts, light on period products and perfume, heavy on funeral insurance and products for urinary tract and vaginal dryness problems. No wonder I watch the BBC so much

I remember all of them. I was just thinking about the old Bodyform advert, catchy song and I always thought how much I loved her pink dress, doesn't need to be any more graphic than that.

And the ones about incontinence pads!

The dominos ad with the guy shaving his bits. Seems unnecessary when you’re selling pizza 🙄I wouldn’t have minded if this was on an adult program but it was on C5 streaming for a documentary about the fire of London which I thought would be useful for my 7y/o as she was covering in school.

Exactly. Turn the mute on and read your phone/get a drink until the programme restarts. No need to subject yourself to this repellent garbage.