Irresponsible and unhelpful article about baby’s death?

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c864g0evz9jo.amp

I am genuinely very confused about this article and would appreciate if someone could shed light so we can learn from it.

It says that the mother “had failed to notice her daughter's deterioration” and this presumably led to the baby’s tragic death. But I have no idea what the signs of deterioration would have been? As a new mum maybe it is not as obvious to me as it might be for others.

There seems to be great emphasis on the alcohol and tobacco consumption, but nothing to say that this directly impacted - e.g. baby someone fallen on or got hold of cigarettes so it’s unclear why this is actually relevant? Clearly it is not a crime have booze and fags, so what exactly has happened here?

It seems like there is some fairly crucial information missing? AIBU to think this type of article is alarming enough to raise anxiety levels but too vague to actually help inform or equip parents and careers. And also stigmatises a mother who, other than drink and smoke, does not explicitly seem to have done something harmful. If she has missed some critical signs of declining health then we really need to know what they were!

In court, it was heard that while pathologist evidence could not establish the direct cause of Rhian’s death, Birks’ consumption of alcohol meant that she neglected her duty of care and put her needs before the needs of her daughter.

She also put her to sleep in an unsafe manner, for which every mother receives clear guidance. And then failed to check properly on that unsafe sleeping, from another room, or feed her very young baby. Because she was heavily intoxicated.

I think I know what you mean OP. If I had a newborn this would be causing me a lot of anxiety. I'd be thinking do I need to set my alarm every hour to check baby through the night, do I need to wake them up every few hours to check they're responsive? I went by the rule of baby will wake when they're hungry. With the exhaustion of having a newborn would I sleep for hours if the baby didn't wake me and potentially miss an opportunity to save their life? I was already terrified of SIDS when I had a baby, I imagine if I read this when I had a baby I wouldn't be getting much sleep at all. That's what makes it irresponsible, it causes fear in women who are already experiencing a lot of anxiety.

I don’t think it is.

to be convicted of child cruelty you have to behave in a way likely to cause 'unnecessary suffering or injury’.

the baby obviously and tragically died but did the mothers behaviour cause the suffering or injury?

The implication is that the baby was seriously ill for a period of time and that the mother would have noticed had she been sober. But it’s certainly not clear what happened and there don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to put the pieces together, especially because the facts don’t seem to align with SIDs which would be the leading cause of death in young babies

Op, you’re focusing your attention on this particular article in a way that comes off disturbing. If you don’t know any signs of what seems off for your baby, you should research this and discuss with a medical professional. But your comments on this case do make it seem like you’re excusing mum and blaming the journalist!

Reading between the lines, this sounds like it was believed that she caused the death but they didn't have the evidence to prove it.

The report was thar the baby failed to wake as usual for a feed between 4:30-6:30 and the mum failed to notice a deterioration in the baby's health between 6-9am.

Whether that's because she was asleep due to alcohol or chose not to check on her daughter, we will never know. But she didn't satisfactorily check on her baby during this period (or at all for over 14 hours) and it was because she was impaired by alcohol which was neglectful. There's nothing to be learned beyond following safe sleep and health advice and not being reckless with your child's life.

To get a different perspective, no sensible person would knowingly leave their baby with her to be cared for like that and would want a prosecution.

They are risk factors and SIDS is SUDDEN Infant Death Syndrome.

They baby didn't SUDDENLY die.

The mother "failed to recognise a deterioration" in her baby's health over a number of hours. Specifically between 6-9am, which you would reasonably expect her to be awake, especially with a 6 year old in the house and under her care.

Well, the smoking was mentioned as it meant she left the house frequently, not just the room. Though she wasn't in the room either anyway. Obviously a 5m old didn't get hold of tobacco.

It's not really our business what the baby died of.

As for your actual "aibu" question, yes, you are being very unreasonable.

I agree it probably has triggered concerns in mums to be or new mothers, because it implies mothers should get up intermittently through the night to check on a sleeping baby, when that’s not necessarily needed. Unless baby misses a wake up during a previously regular feeding routine. But this situation was around the mother being so drunk, she was incapable of caring for the baby. I remember when mine slept through the night for the first time. I woke in a blind panic, only to find her fast asleep with not a care. I think it’s all around context OP. There was a lot of background info on this case.

If the baby passed away due to SIDS I'd very much doubt there would be criminal proceedings for neglect etc because there are no signs and it's not preventable and most parents would be asleep.

More info here.

https://www.cps.gov.uk/west-midlands/news/mother-convicted-child-cruelty-after-getting-drunk-vodka

Maybe they don't know what the cause of death was. Leaving a baby to sleep on a sofa is not a good idea and as others have said it could be SIDS, asphyxiation, might be a fever or anything.

I don’t think they actually know that seeing as they can’t ascertain cause of death. A deterioration in health could be sudden or gradual. If I have a sudden cardiac arrest I could be dead in under a minute and someone could say my health deteriorated in the space of ten seconds 🤷‍♀️. It might have been sudden with this baby or it could have been gradual. If it was sudden no amount of checking would have helped. But placing baby in a safer space may have helped, though again there have been babies in a cot with no risk factors who have died suddenly in their sleep.

From the previous thread on this, I gauged that she put her baby to sleep on a sofa which contributed to their death.

But she put her child to sleep at I believe 6pm and then didn't check back on them until 9am. Any sober, and caring mother would have checked on their baby well before this.
Especially if sleeping in an inappropriate bed.
Also, it's reccommended that babies sleep in the same room as their care givers for 6 months atleast.

All of these things together paint a picture of a pretty neglectful environment.

But I do grasp that for a new mum, anxiety is high and the article not specifically saying what happened could heighten that anxiety.

But there’s no signs of any other cause of death. Normally if a baby dies at a young age while asleep and no cause of death can be found it is attributed to SIDS purely because there’s no sign of anything else.

Completely understand what you are asking OP. It's not the act of looking at the baby which saves its life, it's the action taken based on whatever you might see. You want to know what SPECIFICALLY the mother in this case didn't see or didn't act on, to reassure yourself that you would, in fact, pick that up yourself.

As has been said, baby was in an unsafe sleeping position. So almost certainly, they had at some point suffocated due to that.

If you are observing all the safe sleep guidelines then the risk of SIDs really is vanishingly unlikely. So your takeaway from this is probably that you are already doing everything necessary. And if your baby slept for an unusually long time, then you would check that they are still breathing. Which you would probably be aware of anyway by just being in the room.

The very fact that you're asking this question (even though you've been given an unwarranted hard time!!) means you're probably already being very careful to do the right things, so don't let this article worry you 💐

This is so sad actually reading how things happened. Baby asleep on the sofa so asphyxiation could just be the cause of death unfortunately.

She did not notice her daughter failed to wake for her usual morning feed and she did not notice her deterioration in health.

When ambulance crews arrived, they noted signs of rigor mortis which indicated Rhian may have been dead for some time

Maybe if she had paid attention to her baby she may have noticed she wasn't well.

Do you have children? Did you pay attention when they were not able to tell you they were not well? Its basic parenting. Want to go get drunk with your mates when you dont have a responsible person around? Don't have a baby.

Leaving a baby in a non safe sleeping environment like a sofa is a big risk factor for SIDS or potential suffocation. Smoking in the house, even with the door open is another risk factor for SIDS. If you smoke you are even advised to change your clothes before handling the baby as even smoky clothes can affect their breathing. Babies cry and wake regularly as a natural protection against SIDS, the baby didn’t wake for 14 hours which was a massive red flag. If the parent had been sober and not drunk on vodka, they may have been capable of caring for the baby and preventing the incident or at least getting medical attention earlier.

Not sure why it needs explaining to you that neglect can be a cause or contributing factor to the death of a helpless baby op.

I had an elderly relative dropped in a care home. My friend said "dont report or the carer will be punished, and then they will quit. There are not enough carers to do the job"

My view was its either training (so the home needs to their training) or lazyness/other and I dont want people like that working there.

There are two separate issues here; the mother’s neglect which led to the child cruelty charge and the child’s death.

The cause of death (or lack eg SIDS) will be established at the inquest, which can only take place after the criminal investigation and trial conclude. Checking and identifying signs of distress may not have saved the baby but checking babies regularly, putting baby down in a suitable cot, being sober enough to identify their needs, etc all reduce risk.

Separately, the baby’s death triggered scrutiny of the mum’s parenting which meant the neglect was identified. This could have happened if the baby had been injured or someone reported concerns, whether the baby died or not isn’t the sole measure of cruelty/neglect. The trial was focused on this, not the death.

But it’s not meant to be a informative article on the critical signs of infant distress - it’s an news report on the neglect by a an alcoholic mother. If you want to be informed about the former, google it and/r speak to a health visitor (in fact, if you already have a baby, you will have been given all the information already).

When my babies were 5m old, they slept in my room, within touching distance as I was a bit neurotic, and I never drank alcohol (I was trying/failing to breast feed). I was fully able to hear instantly, even when I was asleep, any change in the timbre and rhythm of my child’s breathing. I also knew their nappy needed checking after 6hrs so even if they were a sleep, I’d gently undo their babygro and check if they were wet.

This woman a) was comatose through alcohol consumption so could not tune into her child, b) did not do even those basic routine checks as she left the baby for over 12 hours unchecked, and c) was not even in the same room. There is no doubt that her neglect contributed on some level to this infant’s death but I suspect it was difficult to prove this is law for a manslaughter charge, hence the child neglect charge instead.

The mum wasn’t paying attention to the baby and left her in an unsafe sleeping place for 14 hours. Because she was drunk off her arse. Anything could have happened, regardless of what it was. It could have been sids because of the place she was left in, or she could have suffocated.

The basic message here is don’t get pissed when looking after your kids. Because it means you don’t look after them. Anything could happen. I don’t get why this isn’t clear.

I wonder how many parents (including some Mumsnetters) will think “there but for the grace of God…..” when they read about this case.

Hopefully not too many, and fingers crossed this will be the catalyst for them to change.

The baby had died hours before and rigor mortis had set in, they mean the condition of the babys body deteriorated. So she hasn't checked on her baby in the morning and left her sleeping on a sofa more than overnight