Neighbours shouting at kids daily

LMSLMS · 2025-09-20T06:11:28+00:00

We're in a semi and got new neighbours about a year ago. We get on with them really well, they're pretty noisy (lots of thumping up and down stairs and banging) but have got over that as it's usually what happens in a new build semi 😅 they have two young boys and she's said they can be a handful but the last couple of months or so we can hear proper screaming and shouting at them both, with so much thumping. In the evenings it's so loud we can hear it above our TV turned right up loud. They honestly sound at their wits end with the boys and the shouting sessions can last for up to half an hour. Would you say anything? I'm so torn as I don't want to ruin our relationship but equally it feels like it's just getting worse. I've already said to have a chat with me if she wants to and that I'm always here...Any advice welcome

SlieveMiskish · 20/09/2025 07:34

Maybe she needs help? Maybe the boys need help? Social services anonymously?

Whyherewego · 20/09/2025 07:59

It depends
Are you worried about safeguarding issues? Or just the noise.

If the latter, I'd just get soundproofed your side. Just the easier thing to do.

If the former, the. Report to social services perhaps. Or at least ask her how she's doing and whether she needs any support

FridayIsItFridayYet · 20/09/2025 08:02

Oh, god! I always think this is what my neighbours think of me I console myself with the fact that they probably don't hear the five or ten times I've asked them nicely, politely and at a normal volume to do whatever it is...

Evaka · 20/09/2025 08:16

Hmm. Are they shouting 'Bed now, I'm very cross, get your schoolbag ready' or does it sound like serious threats etc?

My friend has three boys and the noise in their house is ear splitting from morning til night. She mostly communicates through shouting with her eldest but it wouldn't come close to something I'd consider a safeguarding concern. It's shit but I'd imagine incredibly common.

SabrinaSt · 20/09/2025 08:18

I would report to social services so they can do a welfare check.

I grew up being shouted at often and for lengthy periods and despite what people might think, it IS damaging. And to be frank, I don’t care how stressed my parents were or how hard they were finding parenthood. Prolonged shouting at kids is damaging.

Justsmileanwave · 20/09/2025 10:05

SabrinaSt · 20/09/2025 08:18

I would report to social services so they can do a welfare check.

I grew up being shouted at often and for lengthy periods and despite what people might think, it IS damaging. And to be frank, I don’t care how stressed my parents were or how hard they were finding parenthood. Prolonged shouting at kids is damaging.

This is so true, it is! People don't realise do they what being shouted at does.
My neighbours boyfriend shouts and kicks off and now I find it so triggering.
Even a raised voice sets my anxiety off 🤦🫣

cha04 · 20/09/2025 16:40

SlieveMiskish · 20/09/2025 07:34

Maybe she needs help? Maybe the boys need help? Social services anonymously?

This is the most dreadful advice. Please never ever do this unless you are 1000% there is abuse and neglect going on.

Smoggy1 · 20/09/2025 16:48

I sympathise. I lived in a semi. I could hear the parents yelling at the kids (6 and 2) constantly. The reason I learned one of them 6 was because she was watching tv at 10:30pm on a weekend, and the dad went in and started screaming at her, the mum then went in the room and shouted "she's six years old for fucks sake". When I heard them being told off outside, so it was easier to tell what they had done, and none of it warranted the shouting, just a bit of gentle redirection. The 6 year old ended up "helping" me when I was doing my front garden. She was incredibly attention seeking. I got the impression that the only attention she got at home was negative. Felt really sorry for them. They moved, and we got a young couple with no kids - didn't hear them once, so it wasn't thin walls, it was puerly the volume of the shouting.

BuildbyNumbere · 20/09/2025 16:59

What are they shouting at them?

user2848502016 · 20/09/2025 17:05

SabrinaSt · 20/09/2025 08:18

I would report to social services so they can do a welfare check.

I grew up being shouted at often and for lengthy periods and despite what people might think, it IS damaging. And to be frank, I don’t care how stressed my parents were or how hard they were finding parenthood. Prolonged shouting at kids is damaging.

I agree, we used to live next door to a couple with a little girl and they used to shout at her a lot. It was before we had kids so I didn’t really know if it was bad enough to report or not. I think of that girl sometimes and wish I had reported it

Noodles1234 · 20/09/2025 17:06

If there is no safeguarding concern, I would just choose the moment if they say “sorry if you hear them”, look with a wry smile and say “yes, we hear you, a lot”.

We have a similar issue our side, but was parents kicking off at each other, kids and their friends drunk, drugs etc (however in public were perfect adoring family). When I spoke to them (admittedly I was on the brink), they did kick off at us, so def consider how best to approach for best outcome. I wish I had done this as sadly it just made it worse.

DiscoBeat · 20/09/2025 17:08

cha04 · 20/09/2025 16:40

This is the most dreadful advice. Please never ever do this unless you are 1000% there is abuse and neglect going on.

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I disagree. Screaming at the kids at length and thumping noises? Come on!!

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/09/2025 17:09

Can you make out what’s being said?

youalright · 20/09/2025 17:12

DiscoBeat · 20/09/2025 17:08

I disagree. Screaming at the kids at length and thumping noises? Come on!!

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The thumping noise is the kids running up and down the stairs our neighbours kids sound like little elephants. Some parents shout at their kids social services is way over the top

cha04 · 20/09/2025 17:19

DiscoBeat · 20/09/2025 17:08

I disagree. Screaming at the kids at length and thumping noises? Come on!!

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Shouting at kids can be normal when you’re at the end of your tether after asking them 100x, thumping noises could be the kids stomping around because they’ve been told off! You don’t hear thumping sounds if you’re being thumped!! Calling SS can ruin lives. It’s an over reaction. Unless you are a million percent sure it’s not ok to do it because you’re fed up of a bit of noise. By all means speak to them.

DangerousAlchemy · 20/09/2025 17:34

cha04 · 20/09/2025 17:19

Shouting at kids can be normal when you’re at the end of your tether after asking them 100x, thumping noises could be the kids stomping around because they’ve been told off! You don’t hear thumping sounds if you’re being thumped!! Calling SS can ruin lives. It’s an over reaction. Unless you are a million percent sure it’s not ok to do it because you’re fed up of a bit of noise. By all means speak to them.

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Yeah I agree just calling SS without even having the facts 1st is a massive over reaction. My sister had a childminder who she thought she had a good relationship with yet this person asked my nephew if he'd had a good weekend. he was maybe 3? he said 'yes but I was naughty and mummy was cross and smacked me on the bum' and she reported my sister to SS without even talking to my sis about it 1st. My sis was so upset as our Dad had fairly recently died plus our Mum was v ill and my sis was a single mim and she had only tapped him gently on the bum and has never touched him since.

Tonkerbea · 20/09/2025 17:43

Half an hour blocks of prolonged shouting is a horrible environment for everyone in that house.

Let social services decide if the family need help. They can recommend parenting courses, they're not the boogie man, they're there to assess what if any intervention is necessary.

I'd rather report my concerns than regret a child being harmed.

BeenzManeenz · 20/09/2025 17:46

30 whole minutes of shouting, every day?! That's verbal abuse and no child should be subject to that. I am a mum and I totally get that you might lose your rag occasionally for a few mins or so. But it's the regularity that sounds worrying.

You're not teaching kids anything by shouting at them like that. Awful behaviour. Doesn't matter if you get on with them, I'd be calling social services.

Zanatdy · 20/09/2025 17:47

Justsmileanwave · 20/09/2025 10:05

This is so true, it is! People don't realise do they what being shouted at does.
My neighbours boyfriend shouts and kicks off and now I find it so triggering.
Even a raised voice sets my anxiety off 🤦🫣

Edited

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Same and all stems from childhood

Lolalovesroses · 20/09/2025 17:47

cha04 · 20/09/2025 16:40

This is the most dreadful advice. Please never ever do this unless you are 1000% there is abuse and neglect going on.

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It’s not dreadful advice. If you suspect child abuse is going on you have a duty to report it. You do not have to be certain at all, let the professionals decide that.

BeenzManeenz · 20/09/2025 17:50

cha04 · 20/09/2025 16:40

This is the most dreadful advice. Please never ever do this unless you are 1000% there is abuse and neglect going on.

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Prolonged shouting at children is abuse. Sit down and put a timer on for half an hour, now imagine being screamed at by your caregiver. It's disgusting.

If it was a one off then perhaps worth ignoring but doing that to a child day in day out is extremely damaging. Just because they aren't being hit (and actually that isn't even clear either) doesn't make this behaviour fine.

cha04 · 20/09/2025 18:03

DangerousAlchemy · 20/09/2025 17:34

Yeah I agree just calling SS without even having the facts 1st is a massive over reaction. My sister had a childminder who she thought she had a good relationship with yet this person asked my nephew if he'd had a good weekend. he was maybe 3? he said 'yes but I was naughty and mummy was cross and smacked me on the bum' and she reported my sister to SS without even talking to my sis about it 1st. My sis was so upset as our Dad had fairly recently died plus our Mum was v ill and my sis was a single mim and she had only tapped him gently on the bum and has never touched him since.

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Exactly. It really does devastate lives when there’s no need. People have no clue how abusive and manipulative SS themselves can be

cha04 · 20/09/2025 18:05

BeenzManeenz · 20/09/2025 17:50

Prolonged shouting at children is abuse. Sit down and put a timer on for half an hour, now imagine being screamed at by your caregiver. It's disgusting.

If it was a one off then perhaps worth ignoring but doing that to a child day in day out is extremely damaging. Just because they aren't being hit (and actually that isn't even clear either) doesn't make this behaviour fine.

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We don’t have all the facts and I’m sure being screamed at for 30mins without breath is an overreaction.

AgnesMcDoo · 20/09/2025 18:05

cha04 · 20/09/2025 16:40

This is the most dreadful advice. Please never ever do this unless you are 1000% there is abuse and neglect going on.

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Why?

maybe they need help.

Star458 · 20/09/2025 18:08

OP shouting at the kids for prolonged periods everyday is just awful. It might be worth going round while it's going on though if you get on well and just asking if everything is ok because you can hear a lot of noise. From there you can decide whether to call SS. Sometimes parents need to be 'devastated' to realise their behaviour isn't ok and is damaging their children.