Drugs in care of child

[Emmarose01]

Hi I’ve just had a message of a friend that my baby’s farther is in the pub with a bunch of sellers and on drugs while he’s supposed to be in the care of our newborn. What would be the next step for this if I don’t have photo proof. Can social services to drugs tests on weekends or would I have to wait to next week or would it be out if his system by then

I just don’t understand how they are happy for him to though it’s fustrating. He’s was driving him about in the car on drugs about a month ago. But till it goes to court apparently it has to be shared but I just don’t get how that can be the case with something like this when he’s not showing any signs of wanting to change.

Because presumably you have no proof he was drug driving?

Only a court can order a child to spend time with parent. Not even social services can do that without a court order.

They wasn’t any proof cause he refused the drug test he was asked to do as he was asked for a hair strand test but said he didn’t want a bald patch but he admitted to it a few days later

Who asked him to do the drug test?

Some of the responses on here are disgusting. Asking OP if she takes drugs too, casting judgement on her for what her ex partner is doing? Why is it relevant asking if she has anymore kids? She’s come here for advice because she’s worried about her three month old and has said her mental health is poor because of ex partner’s behaviour. Have some compassion.

OP, I would refuse to allow him access until he can pass a drugs test. Tell social services why you are doing this. If he isn’t happy he can make an application to court. Save any evidence you have. The fact that he took drugs while you are together is reason enough to have concerns and social services and a court will understand that. You DO NOT have to hand your baby over to him again unless it is ruled by the court.

I feel for you. I would get a counsellor/support person to ring him. Or even ring him yourself, with the focus on the baby and not his drug taking, for now at least. You need to know for sure where baby is. I know it's hard but I would follow your instincts and get legal advice. It will look worse to a judge if you can't protect your baby either

Social services were the ones who asked for it to be done. He agreed to do it but didn’t end up doing it as he said he didn’t want the bald patches

So all this happened after the baby was conceived? People dont change so why are you surprised having a baby with was not a great idea?

This poor child is growing up like this all you can do is try your best and not repeat this

It was happening before I was pregnant aswell but I thought things would change so I stayed when I fell pregnant cause everyone said once the boy was born things would. It’s not as easy as to walk away when you care about your family.

Everyone cares about their family, you aren’t unique in that, you made bad choices, own it.

Can you get an emergency court order?

Bluntly, if you think your child is not safe you need to collect them or call the police.

You can stand outside door and call police and say the grandaparents have your baby and they don’t have parental responsibility and you do. If your ex isn’t there the police will give you your baby.

however, if your baby is safe in their care maybe leave it until morning.

You need to tell SS that you believe he's stil taking drugs, and that you're aware that he refused a drug test which was a requirement of him having overnight access to the baby. And that you are not willing for your baby to stay with his father while you strongly believe that he is taking drugs.

That your ex is staying with his parents does not gurantee your sons safety, as you've no idea of whether they or he are primary carers when the baby is staying over. Gra

And just don't let him take the baby, unless court ordered.

So you chose to have a child with a man who is addicted to drugs? You actually made a conscious decision to do that? How did you actually think this would turn out. The poor child being brought up in this chaos.

Do you have a solicitor? I'd get legal advice about this very quickly. I don't know how things stand these days but I was able to get a PSO (Prohibited Steps Order) when my XH was unfit to look after the DC unsupervised (drugs/alcohol, being abusive towards me). I would have been happy with him having supervised contact (assuming he was sober/straight at the contact times!), but nothing unsupervised until it was clear that he was long term sober/clean. I contacted the schools, SS, police and sought legal advice about it. SS couldn't/didn't have a say in things - they could see I was trying to keep DC safe, but they couldn't say to XH that he couldn't see them. I had an ex parte hearing first for an emergency order...and then a second hearing about a fortnight later. PSO was put in place for a year - no unsupervised contact at all during that time, with the chance to apply for PSO to be extended (well, a new PSO) if need be. Judge also ordered a CAO be put in at same time (DC to fully reside with me, no overnights with XH).

Bear in mind, I was married to XH and he was therefore automatically on the DC birth certificates (thus having PR). I don't know how much different it would be if your ex is not on the birth certificate. If he isn't, then he doesn't have PR, so it might be easier for you to refuse contact

I do have one. I’m gonna ring them on Monday morning but unfortunately with it being the weekend now I can’t get in touch till then.

I would ring 111 for advice.
I would also ring Frank the drug abuse helpline
0300 123 6600.
I hope you get this sorted OP it is a hideous situation.

Yes, better safe than sorry.
He'll return home at some point. He could be there now. Snuggled up with baby wasted.

Do your 'friends' often message you when they see him OP? Is that how you were told he was driving whilst on drugs? Are you keeping tabs on him out of concern or something else? Clearly this is an acrimonious split but it isn't that long ago that you decided he was the father your child deserved.

Sounds like it is quite possible that his parents are the only safe place right now so I'd make absolutely certain of your 'facts' before you blow that up and do something that will be detrimental to your child who obviously needs someone stable in their life.

So, by all means, have those checks done if you are truly concerned about your baby because he is all that matters.