Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Calories in vs calories out is just not working !

220 replies

noseriouslyguys · 19/09/2025 17:28

Yes I know the principle is correct- I get it. But explain this to me then…

I’ve been weighing every bite I eat or drink for two months - PLUS exercising 5 times a week and I am not losing on the scale.

I have lost weight since the start of the year, without exercising at first, but now the scale is just standing still.

I create a deficit of 1000 calories a day and nada.

the scale teases me, it will say a certain low weight- then I get back on it and it says 2kg more the next day and it will show me that 2 kg more for another two weeks.

I have lost weight already by the way, without exercising since the start of the year- slowly. Maybe a kg a month- some months 2. I thought I would really tighten up my eating and track absolutely everything plus add in exercise. At first I thought it’s normal, water retention- but not after 2 months surely ?

I have gone to the gym a couple of times but mainly playing tennis. For 1-2 hours a day, 5 days a week. Sometimes 4. So it can’t be muscle gain from tennis.

anyway, I am not giving up- but it just makes no sense ?

I do agree with calories in vs calories out, but I have to drop down so extremely low- I mean 800 or so, to lose weight.

I currently eat between 1.200 and 1.500 a day ( max ).

OP posts:
Couldthisbethesunatlast · 20/09/2025 02:25

OP, I hear you! Calorie deficit always worked for me. People say you can’t be tracking things properly - I know I tracked everything. This method doesn’t work for me anymore. I know it doesn’t sound logical, but I also know what I’m eating. Covid wrecked my metabolism, (messes with endocrine system, insulin resistance, ability to retain nutrients, causes inflammation). I’m worried that being on such a low calorie intake will wreck it more. I’m mostly gaining on 900, but sometimes randomly will lose a kg. I’m trying to stick to 800-900 to minimise weight gain as I gain even more above that and any lower just doesn’t seem sustainable. I’m hoping it just stabilises at some point.

Thelankyone · 20/09/2025 06:59

Couldthisbethesunatlast · 20/09/2025 02:25

OP, I hear you! Calorie deficit always worked for me. People say you can’t be tracking things properly - I know I tracked everything. This method doesn’t work for me anymore. I know it doesn’t sound logical, but I also know what I’m eating. Covid wrecked my metabolism, (messes with endocrine system, insulin resistance, ability to retain nutrients, causes inflammation). I’m worried that being on such a low calorie intake will wreck it more. I’m mostly gaining on 900, but sometimes randomly will lose a kg. I’m trying to stick to 800-900 to minimise weight gain as I gain even more above that and any lower just doesn’t seem sustainable. I’m hoping it just stabilises at some point.

Are you very short and sedentary?

It is clear the op is not either not tracking correctly or over estimating her tdee. Biology is biology. No way round it, no one is a medical marvel. But to say you eat in a deficit and gain weight, is even more mind boggling.

Pricelessadvice · 20/09/2025 07:11

You are making a mistake somewhere. You are either underestimating your calorie intake or overestimating your calories burned.
You don’t see overweight people in third world countries for a reason.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 20/09/2025 07:15

This is an anonymous forum so I don't get why you are being coy about your height and weight OP.

You don't need a huge calorie deficit to lose weight, but you do need some consistency. Don't eat back the calories your watch alleges you've burned doing exercise. Make sure you are tracking calories and macros accurately. As long as you're hitting your protein and calorie targets you should be losing weight.

The pp who lost a stone working with a PT is a great example of what works. I've lost 10kg in 3 months in a very similar way. I am perimenopausal.

noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 07:38

So all the overweight people struggling to lose weight are what, just fucking idiots ?

guys no. Some people’s TDEE is so much lower in reality for some reasons I don’t know and that’s why it’s hard.

even if my numbers are off, I should still have lost something as I’ve been in a deficit of at least 500 every day.

I don’t think I defy the laws of thermodynamics. I just think that for some reason my TDEE is much much lower than advertised. I don’t think my watch is massively off either.

like I said, I’ve used it for years to create deficits and even without the activity on the watch, it doesn’t add up.

the only answer is that the TDEE is waaaay lower than average. If I exists on 500 calories a day, I will lose weight. It’s just horrible and hard to do long term.

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 20/09/2025 07:57

Personally I'd ditch the watch and the calculating and weighing and measuring. It's time consuming and makes food the overwhelming focus of every day. Identify a few different options for each meal and cycle through them, drink lots if water, little alcohol and don't snack. Keep carbs low and protein high but again, simply. Use cauliflower rice, courgette or aubergine roasted as a side. Stop thinking about it so much and just live. MJ is keeping your hunger pangs away so it's easier. I'm v short and can't eat much if I want to lose but I also cannot be arsed with the technical approach. Keep it simple.

ElectoralControversy · 20/09/2025 08:01

I don't think you're lying or mistaken and I'm sorry people are being dickish to you

I have a feeling some of the ruder posters are male - "oh you can't possibly gain weight in a deficit"
This is just a scale not a dexa - very easy for women to retain water with hormonal fluctuations!
Loving PP who thinks the body has no capacity to alter BMR or NEAT in response to environment 🙄

OP you being cagey about your weight is making me wonder if you're underweight - if you're 2 stone overweight it'll be easier to lose than if you're two stone under
Are you worried we're going to tell you off for fooling your MJ supplier? Wink

noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:10

ElectoralControversy · 20/09/2025 08:01

I don't think you're lying or mistaken and I'm sorry people are being dickish to you

I have a feeling some of the ruder posters are male - "oh you can't possibly gain weight in a deficit"
This is just a scale not a dexa - very easy for women to retain water with hormonal fluctuations!
Loving PP who thinks the body has no capacity to alter BMR or NEAT in response to environment 🙄

OP you being cagey about your weight is making me wonder if you're underweight - if you're 2 stone overweight it'll be easier to lose than if you're two stone under
Are you worried we're going to tell you off for fooling your MJ supplier? Wink

thanks for your comment. No no I’m not underweight. I wish.

I started with a bmi of 34 last year. At the moment I’m at 29. So I definitely need to lose more and I haven’t lied to anyone.

I lost 12-14 kg since the start of the year without tracking or weighing or exercise. Last year I lost around 5kg the whole year. So my ‘ journey ‘ has been fucking long. I want to lose at least another 14kg to get down to a healthy weight. That puts me at a BMI of around 24, which isn’t that low. In fact I would love to get even lower, but not sure how realistic that is.

OP posts:
BloomingB · 20/09/2025 08:13

Being consumed with what you eat is relentless - it’s draining and takes up a lot more mental energy than you probably even realise. I was consumed by it, and didn’t really appreciate how much that was impacting me until the noise stopped. Now I just eat a something with reasonable nutrition and move on with my day - Weight loss injection (and now low maintenance spaced out dosage) is the only thing that has ever taken away my need to think about it. I eat well, exercise and don’t overthink it. Recommend researching it.

Friendlyfire1 · 20/09/2025 08:16

@BloomingB she takes WLI as stated

Barney16 · 20/09/2025 08:17

I have found I need three things to loose weight, 10000 steps a day, loads of water, low upf diet. Nothing else works. I have always been very slim but I'm 60 now and my weight has slowly crept up. I loose between half and a kilo a week. It's tortuous.

noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:18

BloomingB · 20/09/2025 08:13

Being consumed with what you eat is relentless - it’s draining and takes up a lot more mental energy than you probably even realise. I was consumed by it, and didn’t really appreciate how much that was impacting me until the noise stopped. Now I just eat a something with reasonable nutrition and move on with my day - Weight loss injection (and now low maintenance spaced out dosage) is the only thing that has ever taken away my need to think about it. I eat well, exercise and don’t overthink it. Recommend researching it.

I’m on them too. Still hard. I don’t have food noise and I don’t feel like I’m over eating. I can’t even over eat anyway because I won’t feel well. I have nausea a lot some days. In fact I’ve just gone down a bit in dose because I was nauseous a lot and not really eating at all. Still minimal losses.

it has been hard since the beginning. It’s always been pretty hard but since my second baby, almost impossible. Very depressing but I am proud that I managed to lose some weight. But it’s just not enough. I don’t want to be a fatty forever.

OP posts:
Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 20/09/2025 08:19

I do wonder if @RhaenysRocks is on to something and you should stop the tracking and focus on healthy eating instead?

travailtotravel · 20/09/2025 08:20

Weigh weekly at the same time of day.

Alcohol (sadly)
The right types of food - 1k cals of chip shop.chips are delicious but not sadly the same as protein, veggies, wholegrain, pulses.

noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:22

Anyway I do feel great for moving my body so much. That’s a positive. I may have lost some inches I am unaware of. ChatGPT thinks it’s a lot of water retention and I’ll get a whoosh soon. I’ll also change my scale batteries, who knows. I’ll try anything. I just want to look like myself again.

people comment on how different I look every day. People who have only known me bigger since my last baby. And I just feel like saying ‘ yah thanks. But this is how I’m supposed to look ‘.. what you saw before was just someone who could not lose the baby weight for love nor money.

I did hard core keto when I was post partum. It was so painfully slow too. Then I started working again, baby still up in the night and I was just so unhappy and felt no hope and just didn’t take care of myself for a while. Still paying the consequences.

OP posts:
noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:23

travailtotravel · 20/09/2025 08:20

Weigh weekly at the same time of day.

Alcohol (sadly)
The right types of food - 1k cals of chip shop.chips are delicious but not sadly the same as protein, veggies, wholegrain, pulses.

I never drink alcohol. I get a hangover from 1 glass of wine so I don’t bother anymore.

OP posts:
noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:26

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 20/09/2025 08:19

I do wonder if @RhaenysRocks is on to something and you should stop the tracking and focus on healthy eating instead?

Edited

This is how I approached it in the beginning. I just wanted to speed it up and I want to get off the injections. I just want to reach my goals and slowly taper off this stuff.

so I thought I would tighten it up in the hopes to see more results, but no.

i know it’s slower when you’re nearer the goal but I still have a considerable amount to lose. We aren’t talking about the last 10 pints or whatever.

I sleep enough for sure.

i have done tracking and gym before and was creating the huge deficit and it worked- used my Apple Watch. Just like I’m doing now. For my wedding. I was absolutely shredded. I know what to do. Of course I was younger ( early 30s ), now I’m late 30s.

OP posts:
vickylou78 · 20/09/2025 08:31

Have you thought about slimming world plan? I'm a member and love it.

There was a article the other day about it being good for people on weight loss injections as you are benefiting from the lack of food noise and at same time learning to eat in a healthier way, (unlimited veg, certain fruits, eggs, lean meat and fish, rice and pasta, pulses) but restricted amounts of cereals/bread and high fat/sugar foods. It's much easier than calorie counting as you plan meals around the 'free foods' and only count the restricted foods so way less measuring and weighing.

ButtCheeks · 20/09/2025 08:32

@MyPinkTraybake ’s advice is the soundest on this thread.

OP you most likely just need to lift some weights.
You (nor any woman) do not need to live on famine rations to change your body composition.

Up your calories and protein and fibre and lift!

noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:34

ButtCheeks · 20/09/2025 08:32

@MyPinkTraybake ’s advice is the soundest on this thread.

OP you most likely just need to lift some weights.
You (nor any woman) do not need to live on famine rations to change your body composition.

Up your calories and protein and fibre and lift!

you’re right, less time on the tennis court and more time in the gym. I just don’t like it as much haha

I have gone a few times. I’m trying to incorporate it twice a week.

OP posts:
noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:36

vickylou78 · 20/09/2025 08:31

Have you thought about slimming world plan? I'm a member and love it.

There was a article the other day about it being good for people on weight loss injections as you are benefiting from the lack of food noise and at same time learning to eat in a healthier way, (unlimited veg, certain fruits, eggs, lean meat and fish, rice and pasta, pulses) but restricted amounts of cereals/bread and high fat/sugar foods. It's much easier than calorie counting as you plan meals around the 'free foods' and only count the restricted foods so way less measuring and weighing.

Yeah that might be an idea. I don’t eat lots of junk though. I just make sure I get some carbs on the days I workout a lot. But I don’t eat unhealthy carbs or junk. I just don’t need it or desire it.

OP posts:
TattooStan · 20/09/2025 08:44

I'm 41, 5ft4 and 8st11. I have a body composition that is much more muscle than fat (around 40% muscle and 20% fat).

I do 8 hours of formal exercise a week in the form of CrossFit, Hyrox and strength training, plus a lot of walking on top.

I don't count calories, but to lose weight (when I occassionally want to lose a lb here or there) I essentially need to eat like a bird! This was not the case in my 20s and 30s.

My weight loss intake will be something like:

  • 200g fat free Greek yoghurt with protein powder, blueberries and a tsp of maple syrup
  • 2 egg mushroom omlette with asparagus
  • 150kcal dark chocolate bar
  • little bowl of chicken thigh chilli with bulgur wheat

You will be eating too much, OP.

Joeydoesntsharefood25 · 20/09/2025 08:56

Please listen to this podcast with Dr Chatterjee and Dr Stacey Sims. https://open.spotify.com/episode/4eReF91DXty9Ngjk7bS4pr?si=YgLWnSZOSTqVKS1M6N4uNQ Excessive calorie restriction is very damaging for women.

alloutofcareunits · 20/09/2025 08:56

Zempy · 19/09/2025 18:27

How old are you, how tall, how much do you weigh?

I gain if I consume more than 1300 calories. I’m 5 ft 4, 8:13, and 60 years old.

This, my BMR is only around 1300 cal, I walk and do an exercise class most days (body pump, yoga, dance) and struggle to lose if I eat over 1000cals. I’m 57, unfortunately that’s the reality. I used to run a lot but even that didn’t have a huge impact, it’s far more about what you eat though obviously exercise is good for physical health the impact on weight loss is minimal. Even when I trained for marathons the exercise didn’t make a lot of impact. I’d double check your portion sizes etc and make sure you count the calories in fruit and veg. It’s hard, I know.

MyPinkTraybake · 20/09/2025 09:10

noseriouslyguys · 20/09/2025 08:34

you’re right, less time on the tennis court and more time in the gym. I just don’t like it as much haha

I have gone a few times. I’m trying to incorporate it twice a week.

You've made some great progress OP, read back where you have used positive language here and use that ' I've done really well and I'm still working on it' etc.

But, lots of reasons that aren't you per se - body composition is a factor, your muscle mass could be lower than it was as when you diet suddenly your body just doesn't distinguish that well between fat tissue and muscle tissue. You lose less muscle tissue if you are lifting at the same time, but unfortunately you still lose some, which will impact the TDEE.

This isn't bragging at all but when I was doing it age 42 I was squatting (once I had worked up to it) 60kg, leg pressing up to 200kg, hip thrusting 90kg etc, three times a week. It was hard work in the gym (recommned a good playlist!), I would sometimes have to nap after! But it does work. Have a look if you are on the gram at Fit and Fifty, she is my inspo.

Do you not see (I've been there) that some of your language is contradictory:

"I just want to reach my goals and slowly taper off this stuff." I want to get to my goals and gradually resume normal eating. What is your frustration telling you? Why are you punishing and pushing yourself? Eat more food, don't think of it as a short game now that you are close to the end - at this point you can be tapering off and training for sustaining your diet and energy and fitness (you may be someone who always needs to track a bit), listen to your body's needs.

I'm now 45 , I do seriously need to build back up the gym as I crashed out hard at the end - I was doing a 'cut' with my PT and got down to 22% body fat at 42, but the last few weeks killed me, all the joy had gone. I'm getting more of a handle back now on my diet but am also currently really enjoying eating a lot of carb.

I seem to be doing mentally quite well , compared to people my age when they talk about peri struggles, and I'm sure that's down to me eating more carb, carbs help hormone synthesis (carbs are life my PT used to say 😃).

My new timeframe this time is 2 years of consistency to achieve what I want (just dropping some body fat and back into the rhythm of the gym as love the mental health benefits). September / autumn is always a good time for a gym push so that's what I'm working toward with an aim that by spring next year say end of May I will have done a solid round of it and be back to lifting what I was before. Focus less on weight numbers on the scale and more on weight numbers on the bar and how good you feel and what your body can do, it's incredible.

Not everyone likes the gym! But can probably sustain it with 2 gym sessions in the long run ( or adjustable weights at home).