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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Calories in vs calories out is just not working !

220 replies

noseriouslyguys · 19/09/2025 17:28

Yes I know the principle is correct- I get it. But explain this to me then…

I’ve been weighing every bite I eat or drink for two months - PLUS exercising 5 times a week and I am not losing on the scale.

I have lost weight since the start of the year, without exercising at first, but now the scale is just standing still.

I create a deficit of 1000 calories a day and nada.

the scale teases me, it will say a certain low weight- then I get back on it and it says 2kg more the next day and it will show me that 2 kg more for another two weeks.

I have lost weight already by the way, without exercising since the start of the year- slowly. Maybe a kg a month- some months 2. I thought I would really tighten up my eating and track absolutely everything plus add in exercise. At first I thought it’s normal, water retention- but not after 2 months surely ?

I have gone to the gym a couple of times but mainly playing tennis. For 1-2 hours a day, 5 days a week. Sometimes 4. So it can’t be muscle gain from tennis.

anyway, I am not giving up- but it just makes no sense ?

I do agree with calories in vs calories out, but I have to drop down so extremely low- I mean 800 or so, to lose weight.

I currently eat between 1.200 and 1.500 a day ( max ).

OP posts:

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:42

MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 19:40

So basically what has happened is you have plateaued.

Your body has figured out you got X calories coming in, and X calories expended.

The body is clever. It does not want you to lose weight. In fact if you have been dieting for a while you will have lost fat including visceral fat around your organs. The body likes you to have fat. It is useful in times of drought (or stress). (So definitely increase your water intake BTW).

What the body does is cuts back on non essential energy expenditure. This means things like growing strong hair and strong nails, and hormone synthesis.

As a resort, your body might decide to burn muscle mass if there is no fat to burn. It needs to burn something for energy - incoming calories mainly from fat or carbs are a preferred source. If you are exercising and going to the gym or whatever then you are using your muscles. So the body knows it can't burn muscles tissue for energy, they are being used. So it's going to tighten itself up, get more efficient, cut essential processes. You would lose weight but extremely slowly, and very unenjoyably, and eventually feeling exhausted as you're going to raid your muscle mass, your ferritin stores etc.

All of that is to say - you need to eat more calories and then you will rev up losing the weight again. As you will have the metabolic energy to burn the calories.

This is the reason that personal trainers don't put people on diets for longer than 8-12 weeks. It plateaus for these reasons. So have a break.

Another option would be to introduce some non diet days.

Exercise is really not a significant source of calorie burning. The most calories burned / fat loss, actually comes from daily steps. Just small constant regular movement. Aim for 10k - 12k a day. Cardio - as much or little as you like/enjoy.

That's what worked for me when I did it with a PT. I'm 5.6 and was losing body fat on 1800 calories at that time (lifting heavy 3 times a week, 10k steps and a tiny bit of cardio). That was honestly the best time of my life as I felt I could eat properly and not gain weight!

Strength training is good but more for the fact it builds muscle mass, and muscle burns more calories at rest. That's how people get ripped - they lift heavy, then drop calories, and effectively shed fat only not muscle. But you aren't going to build any muscle mass on a calorie deficit.

So basically everything you've posted is a lie.

MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 19:43

Shitmonger · 19/09/2025 19:36

That is hugely inflated.

I am 30, 5’6”, and hugely active with my horses. I can easily burn 1000+ calories if I train all five of them in a day. My TDEE is still 1500.

Edit: I should add that my Apple Watch also tells me that I’ve burned 6-7000 calories some days. 😂

Edited

Show quote history

Yes I think calorie intake for most people is about 2000-2400 a day. Many people eat much less because they don't move that much, or just because they think they should eat less.

Ha I really need to take up horse riding as this sounds amazing!

Didimum · 19/09/2025 19:43

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:25

Didums, how appropriate.

Show quote history

Well that’s not what didi means, but nice (and uneducated) try.

Original poster

noseriouslyguys · 19/09/2025 19:45

NeverHadHaveHas · 19/09/2025 19:41

Agree your calorie burn on Apple Watch is massively off. I am 5ft 3, 62kg, do CrossFit or run at least 5k 6 days a week and my burn is up to 2300 on training days and 1700 if I do nothing, and when I say nothing I still walk the dogs for an hour on those days. If I was completely sedentary it would be more like 1500. I think I would have to run a 1/2 marathon at least to get near to 3000 cals.

It always worked for me before. I think I’m definitely around 2000 at the very least on very active days.

OP posts:

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:46

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

noseriouslyguys · 19/09/2025 19:46

NeverHadHaveHas · 19/09/2025 19:41

I’m also way taller and way heavier than you.

OP posts:

MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 19:47

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:42

So basically everything you've posted is a lie.

Show quote history

Is it? Can you explain? I responded to OPs original post and have not RTFT.

Laruca · 19/09/2025 19:49

If you are in Facebook, I would suggest you join Macros Inc group. There is lots of advice for free and many times people post with the same issue you are having. For weight loss I need to eat 1350kcal/day. I have been tracking my macros and calories for a few weeks and it is working. I got this number from the macros calculator from Macros Inc

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:50

MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 19:47

Is it? Can you explain? I responded to OPs original post and have not RTFT.

Show quote history

Starvation mode is myth, this debunks 90% of your post.

soupyspoon · 19/09/2025 19:50

It always seems like people in the UK have more problems with insulin resistance than in other parts of Europe....

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:51

soupyspoon · 19/09/2025 19:50

It always seems like people in the UK have more problems with insulin resistance than in other parts of Europe....

Truth

FitatFifty · 19/09/2025 19:52

Same. I started dieting about 2.5 months ago. First month and a half I lost about a stone. Then I joined the gym, since then I have lost nothing.
If it was calories in/out then the 3 x 2 hour sessions, plus 2 classes I do a week would work. I don’t know whether to give it time as I am shrinking or increase my calories, I can’t drop anymore as I need the energy for the gym, I tried for a few days and ended up with a massive migraine.

Shitmonger · 19/09/2025 19:53

MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 19:43

Yes I think calorie intake for most people is about 2000-2400 a day. Many people eat much less because they don't move that much, or just because they think they should eat less.

Ha I really need to take up horse riding as this sounds amazing!

Show quote history

I always recommend horses! Trying to stay on a large reactive prey animal while it moves at speed is a great way to discover muscles that you didn’t even know you had. 😁

Though to be clear I was laughing at my Apple Watch overestimating my calorie burn. It also currently says that I have done 41 flights of stairs today when in fact it was 4.

Didimum · 19/09/2025 19:53

This reply has been deleted

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No just trying unsuccessfully to make a clever joke. Get a new hobby. You’re not very good at this one.

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:55

FitatFifty · 19/09/2025 19:52

The additional exercise has increased your appetite as your body is now in a calorie deficit, you're eating more calories as a result but aren't tracking them.

You're not a medical marvel. It's that or you're suffering with severe inflammation due to exercising for the first time in a long time which is causing huge water retention for muscle repair

Woompund · 19/09/2025 19:55

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:09

This is the sort of narrative a loser peddles whose not committed to lifestyle change to lose weight..

Go back to weapons world and continue to receive terrible advice and create bad habits and relationships with food.

Show quote history

That you Richie? You aren't well liked on mumsnet, probably not worth your energy trying to recruit here, especially if that's how you do it!

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:56

Woompund · 19/09/2025 19:55

That you Richie? You aren't well liked on mumsnet, probably not worth your energy trying to recruit here, especially if that's how you do it!

Show quote history

I'm flattered

MyPinkTraybake · 19/09/2025 19:57

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:23

This is the biggest myth going, starvation mode doesn't exist. You can't defy the laws of thermodynamics. As you lose weight your TDEE decreases, if that's what you mean by metabolism changing?

Show quote history

This is also a factor for sure.

Op, I think the frustration is a sign to change something?

I've been in your shoes - I did Fast 800 (800 cals) and by the third month (it was my second time doing it too, so my fat wasn't that high), I was eating, I shit not, 800 calories a day, tracked religiously (because I'd failed the first time I wasn't failing again), and over a month the weight loss was so incredibly slow, maybe 1.5 - 2 pounds over the last 6 weeks.

It was also mentally a hard 6 weeks. It was a reluctant slog and probably not good for me, I was exhausted at the end.

Whatever the reason for it, I was definitely 5.6 and definitely not losing much weight on 800 cals a day.

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:57

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Didimum · 19/09/2025 20:01

This reply has been deleted

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I don’t believe MN remove posts that aren’t problematic, so perhaps there’s a lesson for you there. Stop calling people ‘losers’ like a 12yr old, stop sweating and being abusive to OPs, and start behaving like an adult on the internet.

FitatFifty · 19/09/2025 20:02

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 19:55

The additional exercise has increased your appetite as your body is now in a calorie deficit, you're eating more calories as a result but aren't tracking them.

You're not a medical marvel. It's that or you're suffering with severe inflammation due to exercising for the first time in a long time which is causing huge water retention for muscle repair

Edited

Show quote history

Nope not eating more. My food is exactly the same. I don’t add extra snacks (or snack anyway really) in or eat extra things and we’ve always weighed carbs as DH is diabetic and carb counts.
My appetite is increased, I cannot wait for dinner each night.
I am visibly smaller though and my clothes are baggy since going to the gym.

Somersetbaker · 19/09/2025 20:03

Northerngirl821 · 19/09/2025 19:12

The principle of CICO is false. Your body will vary your BMR to adjust to food supply, and hormones such as insulin and glucagon also influence your body’s ability to store or burn fat. If you reduce your calories as severely as you have, your body will crash its metabolic rate to compensate and then try to store any excess calories as fat in anticipation of further starvation conditions. If you then start to increase calorific intake, fat storage will increase too.

You need to read up on the science of metabolism if you want to calorie restrict effectively!

Try suggesting that to the people in Gaza, or those who survived the famine in Ethiopia. Nobody came out of Dachau or Bergen-Belsen overweight.

vickylou78 · 19/09/2025 20:04

I wouldn't lose at 1500 calories a day

Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 20:04

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Sundaymorningcalla · 19/09/2025 20:09

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