Mother charged with neglect

[Knackeredboot]

This article has been posted on Facebook and has attracted a lot of angry comments about it from people saying the mother should be steriliser and that she's evil.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c864g0evz9jo

The crime was neglect of a baby that resulted in its death from a mother that had failed to notice that her baby hadn't woken in the night for her usual feeds due to the mothers level of intoxication.

There's no indication that the baby would usually have to be woken for feeds, just that it was the babys usual routine.

The mother was awake but drunk. But had she been asleep then would that have been considered neglect too? She checked on the baby from a distance but did not try to stir. Again, I wouldn't go into my 5mo's room regularly in the night for a close up check on them as I would be asleep also.

It says that the level of intoxication was 2.5times the driving limit which is irrelevant as she wasnt driving.

Am i missing something here? I feel like the commenters are being incredibly hard on her based on the little detail in the article. Although I'm not a big drinker I know loads of couples that get smashed on the weekend while at home with the kids.

I don't let my children out of my sight until they're 2 but it's very normal to be a 'shut the door and forget about it' type of parent.

I think it’s less normal than you think. Especially from 1 month old, as you said earlier in the thread.

I don't think it's frowned upon from what I've seen. I wouldn't know I cosleep from birth.

It’s not sad in the way you mean. This poor child died of neglect because of an inadequate parent that drank too much. 😐

“It says that the level of intoxication was 2.5times the driving limit which is irrelevant as she wasn’t driving.”

Are you a complete idiot? Of course it’s relevant! The drink driving limit is set at a level your judgement can become impaired. If she’s two and a half times that limit, she’s pissed. Well past the level at which she’s safe to drive a car, and obviously well past eh point at which she can look after a child.

Why are you defending her? A friend of yours? Or have you done something similar in the past?

That is absolutely not true.

Read it where?

I used to think that way also—but I’ve been researching this for years. I was also an NICU and pediatric RN. And one of my greatest regrets in life was vaccinating my own children. I’d never do it again. The info is out there if you care to look. Although you’ll never find it in MSM or anything backed by Big Pharma.

There’s several things to pick up on here that are SIDS risks;

A 5 month old baby shouldn’t be sleeping alone. According to guidelines from lullaby trust etc all sleeps, daytime naps and overnight sleeps, should be in the same room as a responsible adult for at least the first 6-12 months. Lone sleeping increases SIDS risk.

A sofa is not a safe sleep space.

Baby was formula fed.

Mum was a smoker, and excessively intoxicated.

Taken individually these could be considered minor, but looking at the whole picture it implies an incredibly irresponsible attitude to parenting that does become neglect.

I don’t give a fuck if it’s your birthday, you don’t put your 5 month old on a sofa to sleep whilst you drink a bottle of vodka and a load of Baileys in the next room with your mate. No one should ever consider this acceptable.

When did you have babies? I don’t know any mums who would put their baby on the sofa to sleep, unless they are right there sitting next to the baby and fully awake.

It might have been normal a couple of decades ago, but these days mums are super aware of the risks of SIDS.

She was 2.5 times the driving limit at the point she was nicked and the police tested her, so 14+ hours after she last fed the baby?

That is SOME drinking binge... unless what they mean is they calculated the blood alcohol levels and worked backwards, to estimate her levels earlier on... which I think is unlikely.

I have not accessed the link. It is not necessary for me to see it to voice an opinion.

I am sorry to say that she effectively left the baby alone. If you are inebriated it matters not whether you are physically with a baby - or any vulnerable child - or not, the child has been left alone. That is not an actual crime in itself, according to the internet, but being in charge of a baby while intoxicated is, whether the child lives through it or does not

I mean she left her 5 month old on a sofa and went and got smashed on vodka in another room. She didn't even put her to bed. Of course she may have died of SIDS in her cot, but the chances are lower. She might not have woken her to feed her in time to resuscitate her, but the chances are higher.

A 5 month old should never be left without a capable adult to give them care. At that level of drunk, this baby had been.

I don't think shouting for her to be sterilized achieves anything.

She shouldn't have been that drunk when she is in sole charge of a baby.

my oldest is 19 and disabled and still sometimes needs my time/attention at night, i'm also the only person in the house that can drive.. so you can bet i never get drunk if they're at home with me.. i save it for my nights away, or when they're staying at my Ex Husbands.

I can't fathom putting a child to sleep on a sofa and getting pissed to the point you don't even check on them for 15 hours.

I am sorry to say that she effectively left the baby alone. If you are inebriated it matters not whether you are physically with a baby - or any vulnerable child - or not, the child has been left alone.

This. The child was essentially unsupervised/alone for the period their mother was intoxicated.

I realised one morning recently that DS was on his bed, fully clothed, door open. He usually sleeps in pitch black.

I checked he was breathing. He's 21.

People who are asking about the father … chances are, he is just as much of a daftie as she is.
Like attracts like. I see it all the time in my job. This baby sadly didn’t stand a chance.

I wish they would allow a licence and intelligence test to have children

I don't see what could be MORE neglectful than not checking a tiny baby unsupervised for 14 hours, especially on an unsafe sleeping surface, especially while intoxicated. I wouldn't be posting mean comments about it on Facebook as this is a woman who has lost her little baby. And sadly people do lose babies to SIDS even if they are following all the advice. But this is absolutely neglect.

There were plenty of times when my babies were young that i had a couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday night after putting them to bed early eve. And in that scenario my partner and i would have spent an hour bathing our baby, reading stories, feeding before bed before tucking them safely in their cot, video and sound monitor on before touching a drop.

Never once had i had so much i didnt check on them last thing before we went to bed (so prob 11pm), as in went in the room, touched their cheek or forehead, gave them a wee kiss, replaced their teddy or retucked their blankets. I often would have been up and down through the evening too if baby fussed or grizzled in their sleep.

Dumping your baby on the sofa and drinking so much vodka you essentially pass out and are still completely trashed at 9, 10am the next morning is a completely, completely different behavior and not in the same category at all!

I didn't drink for 5 years after my two were born. Someone has to stay sober in case there is an emergency, that's parenting. We wouldn't tolerate care home staff being too pissed to care for their dependent residents, then why tolerate parents of dependent infants being incapable of parenting.

I agree this is clearly neglect. I wake up in a panic to check on the bloody cat when she's not woken me up to be fed.

However, I do think if the circumstances were slightly different there wouldn't be a headline (or even a prosecution). If she put the baby down somewhere unsafe and proceeded to consume excess wine at a dinner party to a similar level of intoxication, for example, it would be a tragic accident. If she left the child alone and went off to enjoy some tapas with friends elsewhere, there would be no prosecution.

This exactly.
Her drinking may not have been the cause of the child’s death, hence why she’s not guilty or murder or manslaughter. But she’s absolutely neglectful in her actions.